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/mge/ - Monster Girl Encyclopedia thread #94 Anonymous 09/04/2026 (Fri) 18:56:53 No. 116170
Pool noodle thread. Post yippers.
>>116170 if they cant, i wont either
>>116170 I'd be perfectly happy with a big titty goth mommy GF. If they're out of those I'll take the big titty tomboy childhood friend combo.
AS I WAS SAYING
>>116174 >silence a fellow schizo is talking
>>116172 It turns out there was nothing metaphorical about the corporate hydra. The corporations were quite literally being run by different heads of the same beast.
>>116176 sucks when you get outvoted at a meeting
>>116176 >multiple personalities dissorder arguments at MEETING
>>116176 one of the heads is an unabashed NEET and refuses to work
>>116170 Remember that it's Friday, do your best so you can go back to your demon or angel auntster, they are both equally horny and alone
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>>116180 how come you never say hi to your niece or cousins at these frequent family gatherings?
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>>116181 I'm pretty sure that your cousindaughters live with you all year long
>>116181 Because they don't leglock me for 3 hours at a time while demanding creampies?
>>116170 >I want 200 things >meanwhile me >Want big thicc stronk yeti hugs i am a simple man
>>116184 That was 11 things vs your 5.
I would like to hold hands with an age-appropriate woman. And maybe enjoy a nice meal with her.
>>116186 What is this, some kind of adult woman fetish?
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>>116185 i mean, it's not the amount of adjectives that's keeping me from mamano, it's proximity
>>116179 >first meeting with the board >...and Sarah, who took early retirement >no reason for her to be here, except that they're physically joined together and she can't not be here >after everyone settles in, she quietly slips underneath the table >and goes straight for your pants >either the other heads don't notice her sucking your dick or they're all very good at pretending not to notice >you try as hard as you can to stay focused on the meeting >it's your first time in front of senior management and you don't want to leave a bad impression <"...I believe that anon has been researching that particular problem. Would you like to share your findings?" >she's still sucking >you take several deep breaths and start reading your notes in the most steady voice you can manage >just have to hope they don't ask too many questions
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>>116180 Fridays are the best to hit the gym together with my auntster
>>116190 Imagine the shower together after the workout
>>116191 Can I imagine a SPACESHIP FIRING LAZERS instead?
>>116191 The showers at gyms in the MGE world must be quite spacious
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Who's your favorite demon-type monster girl? Mine is a devil, because a cunny and black sclera are an unbeatable combination.
>>116194 Cheshire
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>>116194 Demon for similar reasons
>>116193 They need to be able to fit centaurs and sneks, I'd say that tracks.
>>116194 For me, it's the humble succubus. I love how blueberry deems are, but the profile succ has a more preferable disposition even if I'd gladly take a deem regardless.
For me it's druella, intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor
>>116199 >Lescatie gets range banned from this board
>>116188 Cute cat
For me it's cute cat, intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor
>>116203 Hmmmmm who could that be
>>116204 >pissin again huh anonsiebub?
>>116205 >He doesn't let her hold it Kinda cringe anon, kinda cringe
>>116206 if she touches me for even a second she will pick me up and store me in her inventory like i was some sort of key item
>>116207 Touch her and put her in your inventory (auto equip on you shoulders)
>>116210 Not possible. She has very fast micro. I'm afraid I am inventory slot 1 anon now.
>>116211 Dang, that's sad but don't worry, being a teddy bear is alright I heard.
>>116210 I would equip her rectum around my dick
>>116211 be real anon, your a slot 0 item unlike me, an ever dependable slot 3
>>116207 >you cannot drop a quest item.
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you have ZERO sell value. because you are PRICELESS.
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you are butt bongo slave now. chesh will play the bongos on your butt for 1000 seconds.
>>116217 But I want to bongo Chesh butt! This is ROLE REVERSAL and is illegal!
>>116220 Her beans will tap a fine rhythm on your buns
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Something is wrong with this church.
buying anon 3 ref
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>>116222 works on my machine
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>>116222 Oh no, not at all Everything is more than ok
Those plants girls are a bit clingy
>>116222 I mean, these are just your typical members of a Church of Eros except that they're wearing black instead of pink or white. Members of the Church of Bacchus look like this all the time except they're both horny and drunk.
>>116222 I don't know, I have this powerful urge to attend a congregation...
>>116222 But miss seabishop can take the pulpit wearing nothing but a couple lucky starfish, and nobody bats an eye.
>>116222 >pyrow >kitsune >elf >minotaur No shit, Sherlock, there IS something wrong with this church. Not a single apsara in there!
>>116222 >>116224 So what happens if I get a nun pregnant?
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>>116232 Or an Alp nun
>>116234 The fag hours have arrived, I see.
>>116233 The flock swells.
>>116235 Yeah, ever since YOU got here. lmao gottem
>>116194 My favorite is the Balrog. I like haughty girls. I like the infusion of vigor she gives me. I think she's really cool and want to be taillocked by her. Her fire sword is really awesome.
>>116241 She would be warm to cuddle. Would have hot cocoa and cuddles with on a cold winter's eve.
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cucumbers and stuff
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It's finally caturday
>>116245 If you ever find yourself betting in the kappa honbasho, make sure to wave a cucumber in front of the opposing wrestler to better your odds of winning big.
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I've been awaiting dogurday with dogged determination, yet find myself hounded with disappointment time and time again. It's enough to drive a man barking mad.
>>116245 Truth be told I've long forgotten the existence of the Kappa, this elusive river... whatever it is.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sV-duwO3Z5Q >sleeping will end the day and bring even more children Wat how fast is the wolf mom's pregancy cycle?
>>116251 its a turtle tengu, people like to attribute akaname with butt stuff, but kappas are the ones to do that
Druella will abolish working on saturdays. By the Demon lord she shall do it.
>>116252 if you play the games' demo, you'll see it's exponential day one start with 3 pups, get 3 more on night 1, get 7 more on night 2, get 16 more on night 3... methinks the wolf mom isn't an actual wolf but some sort of eldritch deity masquerading as a wolf. doesn't mean i won't love her, just means we have some problems to solve before settling down.
>>116253 Not really. I know that in the real life mythos, kappas has the entire "rip your soul out your asshole" shtick, but the MGE profile never once mentions it, or the shirikodama. MGE kappas are more of the tomboy childhood friend type of character seeing as they intermingle themselves with human children when they're young, and their favorite game to play is sumo.
>>116257 It's implied you rip out their soul through their asshole instead.
>>116252 >shorts Holy shit this is so ass compared to regular YT videos, I hate zoomers
>>116259 You can deshortify an url by deleting the shorts part and then adding watch?v= and then the video ID, like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV-duwO3Z5Q
>>116256 >but some sort of eldritch deity masquerading as a wolf hmmm
>>116261 Thanks anon, I didn't know it's even possible
It's a deeply ingrained male fantasy to dig holes. Wurms, Giant Ants and Dwarves also dig holes. Thus, these are the most compatible species for human men.
>>116268 Cultural appropriation!
>>116268 Does the part of the Balrog entry where it says: > Their burning tails were sharp and long almost like whips, and just one swing could scorch and hollow out a mountain. count as digging a hole?
>>116271 I suppose...
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>>116268 You got that wrong, the male fantasy is to DICK holes, not dig. Thus, men are most compatible with the holiest of girls.
>>116268 don't forget sandworms
>>116279 They don't dig, they burrow!
Overground underground wurmbling free. The wurmys of Wyverndon common are we. Making good use of the rocks that we find. Things that the everyday drakes leave behind. AUNTIE Dragonia, she can remember the days when she wasn't behind the times, with her map of the world. Pick up the papers and take them to librawurmy. Wurmys are organised and work as a team. Wurmys are mighty and wurmys are clean. Dragons don't notice us they're too haughty, but under their noses a wurmy might be. wurmble by night and wurmble by day, looking for anons to trundle away. We're so incredibly utterly curious Making friends with everything Even malefs and gargs Pick up the anons and make them into some-friend new Is what we do
>>116282 This is canonical Wurmstong to me now
Hmmm... Paladin-chan has been acting odd and kind of lewd lately. I am gonna talk to the always trustworthy priestess. I am sure she knows what is going on and can set her right!
>>116268 ms ushis shovel hands were made for digging. and loving
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>>116295 Paladins are gay
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>>116296 Ushis!
Who are the top monsters for rape? interpret that how you want: rape intensity, frequency of rape, % of total rapes they contribute, % chance an individual is a rapist, uniqueness of rape, etc.
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>>116301 Again, Ushis. I will not be taking questions.
>>116280 Wouldn't that disqualify Wurms too?
>>116301 weresheep
>>116302 >>116304 They should make a chimera
>>116306 Throw in Kakuen in there too.
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>>116280 Burrowing is a form of digging.
>>116313 >Wurm neighbor keeps coming over to borrow stuff
Idea: Group of dhampirs found support group to deal with urges to drink loved ones' blood.
>>116316 >Hemoholics Anonymous but then a man with hemophilia accidentally ends up on the meeting because he got confused.
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My obsession of the day is two thoughts about Bogie. The good thought is just having her drape her leg over me. With her size it probably has a really nice weight and softness to it, and the teasing if she knows you're a leg man is a bonus. Then I think about her without gloves and it gets weird and uncomfortable, like those pictures of sonic the hedgehog without shoes. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
>>116318 Those gloves are her hands, I would argue. Whether that's better or worse remains up to debate.
>>116316 group of anons trying to trick their dhampir into drinking their blood
>>116317 > Guy with hemophilia gets paper cut on bag of chips, stats bleeding > Entire room breaks out in cold sweat > Couple of dhampirs start punching themselves to resist the urge > A couple more run into the bathroom to masturbate > One starts biting her own arm and sucks her own blood > The vampire who infiltrated the group to try and corrupt them all is oddly pleased with this turn of events
I will simply use my blood to write letters to Miss Vamp. As a joke.
>>116326 Sideshow Bob did this
>sideshow bob >the bogie pulls you to her side >she pulls her shirt forward >see bob >nice
on second thought, let's not send in the clowns
>>116329 But have you considered the sexy clown works so hard for your amusement, and she deserves some nice things too?
>>116271 No, that's for the other male fantasy of doing wargames and sieges. I will Alesia the dwarfhold with my Overtyrant wife to pass the time.
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>>116256 >some sort of eldritch deity masquerading as... Say no more, I'm sold. >>116333 >>116274 >the holiest of girls. So, horses or manticores?
>>116334 it'd be charybdis, then
>>116331 What about Alesia? Where's this "Alesia" then? I've never heard of an Alesia!
inhaling clown stink like it's laughing gas
>>116326 Someone is about to accidentally sign a marriage blood pact.
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>>116339 a certain degree of dorkiness does make the vampire more palatable
>>116340 She is not a dork! And she didn't just sneak into your house to try suck your blood while you were sleeping. Okay? She was just visiting and definitely not stalking or peeping. Completely normal. Nothing weird about visiting at midnight.
>>116336 Caesar is disappoint, anon Your immortal gote wife was around to witness the defeat of vercingetorix, you should know better
>>116342 Well what if that anon is married to Gaul Wight or something didya ever think of that?
>>116341 all these night visits are going to be awful for my sleep regimen
>>116344 Just sleep during the day. Nothing interesting happens while the sun is up and too much UV light is bad for the blood.
>>116345 i am but a diurnal creature in a diurnal society. unless i'm kidnapped to a land of eternal night it's too much bother. hypothetically.
>>116341 I'm gonna break into miss vamp's castle during the daytime and see how she likes it.
>>116347 Shove garlic up her nose while you're at it. It would be funny.
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Meep meep?
>>116349 I painted a tunnel on a solid brick wall, I'm sure to catch her this time!
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>>116349 i think it would be good if ms cockatrice was more confident in herself
>>116351 Very fashionable mating display
>>116343 We'll do teutoburg forest later then, but today the dwarfs have penciled in Moria so that's what we're doin
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>>116353 birds are very serious about those sorts of things
>>116355 This makes me want to see a gandharva going all out. Also, a wyvern getting back to her birb roots.
>>116347 Tsundere^2 >Anon shows up at the vamp's castle >Explains to the Kiki butler it's revenge for all the times she's shown up at his place in the middle of the night demanding entry >Kiki blushes, but lets Anon inside >Asks him to cool his heels in the foyer for a few minutes >By the time she returns, she has a dozen zombie meidos in tow >Zombie meidos all have shiny eyes, full of excitement >Kiki suavely motions for Anon to follow her >The whole party moves through the castle, weaving through hallways, staircases, and antechambers until finally they reach the master bedroom >Kiki opens the door and motions for Anon to step inside >Zombie meidos murmur cheers as he does >Vampire's bedroom is basically unlit >Anon has to use his phone to figure out where she is >In a big black four post bed with black sheets and black lacy curtains >Of course "WAKE UP!" "WAKE UP SO I CAN FEED ON YOU!" >Vampire startles <"Wha... what?" "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?!" "You yell that to me every other night!" >Vampire sits up in bed, still wearing an eye mask <"What?" >She removes the eye mask <"Oh, it's YOU." <"Fuck off, then, if you hate romance." >Anon glares at her >Vampire glares at him >After a long, long moment, Anon blinks and attempts to leave >The door is blocked >By a dozen zombie meidos and a kiki >"Oh, gosh, Mistress! It looks like this door is stuck. It is likely to remain stuck until NIGHTTIME." >Anon and Vampire both scared now
>>116358 And so, having been forced to stay in a room and discuss their cultural differences, the two parted amicably when the door was "unstuck" come nightfall. It wasn't what the maids were hoping for, but the dorks have a date scheduled next Saturday so it was good enough. Naturally, Ms. Vamp would be paying.
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don't tell the bogies, but i am deathly afraid of giant sweaty clown ass smothering my face, and that would be an awful punishment for a naughty boy like me.
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>>116360 We got Alp clown
>>116361 clown ass is clown ass. delicious, sweaty clown ass.
>>116351 Heheheheh. Cock.
unmarried life as the monarch of a monster-friendly state >the chancellor is scheming to rape king anon >the head of the military is scheming to rape king anon >the lady admiral of the fleet is scheming to rape king anon >the chief diplomat is scheming to rape king anon >several royals from abroad are scheming to rape king anon >the president of the merchant guilds is scheming to rape king anon >the head of the church is scheming to rape king anon >all of the royal advisors are scheming to rape king anon >the extremists are scheming to rape king anon >the court jester is scheming to rape king anon
people are always like "it's time to release the kraken" and I'm just wondering how they ever managed to tie a kraken up in the first place
>>116365 I'm sure it's consentual
>>116365 They didn't tie her up, they had her sealed in a surprisingly small bottle. Just a matter of screwing on the lid once you coax her inside, and that's never difficult.
>>116365 She's a tentacle monster, she probably tied herself up.
>>116316 >solution: hop on your beloved darling's dick That's why dhampirs do not have much blood cravings in the first place. It's just a crutch mechanism for vampires so they would still satisfy their biological needs without having to fuck the guy.
I think monstergirls have ruined my brain. Whenever I see someone using harpy or succubus to insult a foul woman, I get offended on behalf of succubi and harpies.
>>116364 Now do unmarried monster queen.
>>116364 Don’t forget the revolutionary leader, she also wants to rape king anon.
>>116375 Oh, man, I would. Gimme that cold, cold ice queen and I will do UNSPEAKABLE things to her. Anon in hospital because he got his tongue frozen to his wife. Again.
>>116373 >YFW you realize they can do both at the same time Sex with a dhampir or vampire who's dropped the tsun must be incredibly strong. Just imagine her riding you in Lotus, licking at your dribbling neck, pouring even more bliss into with each swipe of her tongue, all while whispering words of love to you in a slurred voice that tells you she's enjoying this just as much as you are. >>116377 You'd think after the first few times they'd keep a thermos of warm water or a snifter of brandy or something handy.
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>unmarried queen in mg-buttfuckistan >all her suite is unmarried too >you are anon anonymous, and you happen to be one of the few men in the capital city >the constitution of the country explicitly grants you protection from molestation, and so they can't just openly break it, not as the country's rulers >so every unmarried government official, queen included, are not plotting to rape freeman anon >talk about getting screwed by your own government
>>116378 Eh no. I personally am really weirded out by blooddrinking. Why can't she just kiss my neck, it feels amazing I guess.
>>116379 Any kot or a malef with kot ears would easily bag me
>>116380 Eh, blood drinking is neck kissing+. In the context of the MGE it just works out to be another monster quirk you either like or don't. I bet it would be something a lot of people not married to blood drinkers wouldn't really get even in universe though. How much do you want to bet even vampire husbands think vamp mosquitoes are a little weird?
>>116382 >vamps and vamp mosquitoes Those two are completely unrelated species, you know?
>>116383 No part of that post implied that I thought otherwise, but they do both drink blood. I imagine that vamp mosquitoes are less picky in where they bite, and "hold me while you bite my neck" vampire lovers might think that was a little off.
>>116382 Consdering how weird the MGE world can be, I imagine that a little blood drinking every now and then would make most people barely bat an eye.
>>116383 i do like the one-sided rivalry vampires have with them. it's cute
>>116382 they probably get it. stuff like sweat has spiritual energy in it too i could see a girtablilu licking the spiritual energy off her knife after she freshly shanked anon, even if that's not blood per se
>>116386 In public, sure. Behind closed doors, I think vampires might be a bit more flexible.
>>116389 I'm now imagining an old gag >Girtie licks the poison-covered realm silver blade she just shanked her husband with >The poison-covered blade was covered in poison and she just licked it >The paralyric aphrodisiac kicks in immediately and she drops right next to her also paralyzed husband >They're both incredibly aroused but can't do anything about it because they're paralyzed >They have a good laugh about it when they can move well enough to drunkenly rape each other >Until she stings ihim in the neck to maintain her pride, that is
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The more I think about this idea the more I want it. A dhampir with the temper of Ash Williams and his weapons. >This... is my Boomstick!
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>>116392 dark musketeers and their implications are cool and somewhat unexplored
huffin monster boots
>>116394 Buffin' monster hoots
>>116395 buffing monster boots
>>116393 I wonder how they'd feel about modern firearms; would they find themnbrutish and abhorrent due to the emphasis on putting as much lead in the air as possible, or would they embrace them? All I know is, a Dark Musketter with a demon silver anti-material rifle or machine gun would be a sight to behold.
>>116397 loading spells into shells is a lot cooler to me
>>116398 STOP PUTTING SCROLLS INTO MISS CANCER
>loading spells succuvirus mages
>>116397 They could be romantics who insist on at least manual actions, but Gun Kata with modern semis seems like a reasonable middle ground as well. Then, of course, there's this: >>116398
>>116401 >Then, of course, there's this: >>116398 That would actually be all that there is. Remeber, the MGE world is seeped and surrounded by magic and mana. There's zero reason why a dark musketeer would use a normal gun when they use magic guns instead, loaded with magic gunpowder and magic shells.
>>116402 >magic shells The bullets are chocolate candy shells?
>>116402 Not literally everything is magic, if normal realm silver bullets and smokeless are more readily available or cheaper or whatever it's still reasonable that they'd be used. That also doesn't speak to weapon choice either, since one could still spam magic bullets or take a different approach.
>>116404 >Not literally everything is magic, if normal realm silver bullets Read that again, but slowly.
>>116402 Oh, absolutely, but they would definitely reverse engineer human weapons and upgrade their own to make them more powerful.
>>116405 Now tell me you thought that's what was meant when Anon referred to "loading spells into shells."
>>116406 That does presuppose that they wouldn't have more or less modernized weapons by the times they open the portals, which considering Automaton technology is already available in their world, it's not impossible, but somewhat unlikely.
>>116408 The gremlins may not have considered the advantages of making the automatons tiny and giving them wings.
>>116409 >"Just have the fairies carry the bullets, lol" jenyus
>>116409 Drones are less effective when pixies exist. Everyone can become a drone, really, and i'm sure they have also thought of countermeasures.
>>116411 Need A-Team, but they're all Fairies. Can't call them the "F-Team" though because that makes it sound porny.
>>116408 Automatons are, according to the lore, the product of a long ago civilization and not really well understood, so it's doubtful that MGE tech has advanced that much as a resultnof them. Of course, there's gremlins, but their particular brand of mad science doesn't really suited to incremental improvements in firearms tech.
>>116412 >that makes it sound porny. Oh, it is porny. Why else would they drive around with a full size van?
>>116414 >and not really well understood At the point of the guides. There is no telling how much time would have passed until mamono invent INTERDIMENSIONAL TRAVEL. I'm sure they can invent Uzis in that time. >their particular brand of mad science You've been huffing too much thread meme. They're plenty skilled, and incremental advances is how all science works.
>>116361 I would impregnate that, as a joke of course
>>116417 Imagine telling your kids they were just a joke
>>116415 The fairy size van was cute but it didn't work so well on full size roads.
>>116418 >"I wanted you to make the world smile." Beats telling them they were a prank, I suppose.
>>116397 >find themnbrutish and abhorrent due to the emphasis on putting as much lead in the air as possible Sniper rifles are a precise, elegant weapon.
>>116422 I just through nano shogs at my foes
>>116422 >Sniper rifles are a precise, elegant weapon. <But so impersonal! For myself, I prefer an Obrez.
it's probably fine to be around succubus pheromones without proper PPE
>>116426 In normal circumstances, maybe. If they're hot and sweaty, though, they can turn you into a drooling mess after just a few seconds of contact.
>>116427 So stay away from succs at the gym and absolutely do not approach construction succs. Got it.
>>116429 Construction succs? Tell me more about them!
smelly succ socks and sweaty succ snatches send silly anons into stupors
>>116392 >Ash Williams I WANT a Dhampir like that. Imagine going on a night stroll with her and running into a stray vampire.
>>116430 They're sweaty, they're vulgar, their collars (if they bother wearing shirts at all, let alone collared shirts) are as blue as their ovaries. It's important that single men stay well clear of them, especially when they start cat calling.
>>116429 Also, stay away from any beaches where succubi have been sunbathing for hours and perspiring in the hot sun. And any local parks, where local succubi have been jogging and their sports bras and tight jogging pants are drenched with sweat. And for the love of god stay away from any nearby saunas where the succubi are covered in sweat from head to toe.
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>>116431 sweltering succ sweater smothering
>>116434 >succubi have been jogging and their sports bras and tight jogging pants are drenched with sweat. >saunas where the succubi are covered in sweat from head to toe I can't be this simple of a man... >>116435 I take it back. I am that simple of a man, the most basic of bitches. This is fine.
>>116433 Do they like ear nibbles?
>>116437 Nibbling their ears, or nibbling your ears? Yes to both.
>>116430 You might ask how a skyscraper gets built without any cranes, and the answer is that a succ picks up a girder on the ground and flies it up to where it's needed, then hovers while another succ welds it into place. Usually they work in pairs and alternate who lifts and who welds, but on a busy site a construction succ can perform up to a hundred lifts per day.
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>>116436 the hug is a very underrated in the succubus toolkit anon might expect the blown kiss or the hipcheck but hugs have (emotional) armor piercing
>high level anon loses to a low level succ because she forgot to shower and he’s a perv
>>116440 A hug from that last one would just bring me to knees like you'd taken a baseball bat to my kneecaps.
>>116439 Jesus CHRIST that's hot.
>>116433 I MUST sniff them
>>116442 This is why only the heroes too stupid for sex make it. >>116443 >You go from having your head crushed into her bosom to resting your head against her stomach with your arms wrapped around her waist while she boob hats you and aras There's no defense against that. Monsters shouldn't be allowed chaste displays of affection, it's too strong.
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>>116446 >hero vs the Sexual Education Succ man, they really don't teach orderites anything, do they?
>>116446 Does the DL secretly implant degeneracy in heroes? Or are all hero inherently degenerate?
>>116448 the order spends an awful lot of time repressing impulses. it's canon they forbid female dominant intercourse, for instance. it's a self-inflicted disadvantage; the pressure cooker doesn't take much coaxing to let off some steam doesn't hurt the mamano tend to be irresistible either
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>>116448 >If the Chief God had meant to interfere in the degeneracy of mankind would she not have done so by now?
>>116448 The latter. It's always been said that heroes love women, and what does most of the demon lord's army primarily consist of? Really hot, really horny women. I almost want to see a story about the DL's army just raping every Orderite army in south Africa me scenario where the monsters weren't massively outnumbered and the Order wasn't spread so far geographically.
>>116446 Oh, no, there's no way in hell that I'd be able to resist something like that.
>>116435 That's part of the auntster moveset
>lost to succ stink ngmi
>>116418 Couldn't be worse than telling your kids their mom is a dude >>116448 If all heroes were inherently degenerate the world would have a lot more sabbath members
My mom is 2 girls, 1 cup
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>>116456 i don't know if i'd really call it a cup
>>116452 The monsters must never become aware that f their greatest strength. Especially the soft ones.
>>116458 Oh, it's too late; they know, dude. Don't be the least bit surprised when the first monster girl you see when the portals open is a succubus in a thick sweater holding a sobbing man to her chest and telling him that it's going to be all right.
>>116459 >the first monster girl you see when the portals open is a succubus in a thick sweater holding a sobbing man to her chest >"Damn, that should've been me..." >Someone tugs your sleeve >Look down to see a yeti dressed head to toe in cashmere with her arms spread wide, a bag of marshmallows in one hand and a thermos in the other Why do I do this to myself?
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>>116460 >series of men breaking down and crying upon seeing the comfort of the previous man and then being comforted by predatory mamano talk about a vicious cycle
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I would hug a cute spood.
>>116461 >The rush is over, the plaza surrounding the portal is just men kneeling in the arms of their new wives (not yet consummated) >A latecomer arrives, twisting his head, feverishly looking for one last monster mommy to call his own >The only monster in the area is a delf, dressed in scant studded patent leather and holding a whip >The man hangs his head but begins walking toward her anyway; at least someone would love him, in her own way >The delf straps the whip to her side and spreads her arms <"Oh, fine. Just once." >He fondly remembers that day during every nightly cuddle session >She's gotten more comfy clothes since, too Good end.
>>116463 Dark elves, I suspect, can be among the cuddliest of mamono; the fact that they understand how to inflict pain means that they also know how to heal it, and I have no doubt that they would happily show their softer sides to any humans they took as husbands.
>>116464 They only have 2 arms, 2 legs, and no tails. So, I got doubts.
>>116465 They make up for their lack of extra limbs with enthusiasm and a terrific understanding of human physiology.
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>>116465 They make up for it with their two very large ears.
>>116465 As if I weren't making myself depressed enough, now I'm thinking about snake coils and wing hugs. Thanks a lot, asshole.
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>>116464 a troublesome amount of them are assassins and know how to target vitals (with comfort) and such
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>>116462 the loving grasp of spider
>>116469 A simple side hug from a trained dark elf can bring a man to his knees and a full-body hug can make a man go to jelly.
>>116472 Marmalade or bust!
>>116473 How about a compromise? Marmalade on her bust.
>>116474 That would make hugs extremely messy.
>>116475 Fun to clean up though.
>>116476 If she's just wearing a leather outfit or nothing at all, yes. If she's wearing a sweater, then she's either going to have to take it to the dry cleaners or you're going to be spitting up wool for the rest of the week.
>>116477 One would hope their delf mistress would be smart enough not to rub preserves into a wool sweater so her gimp might actually have a chance of cleaning it all off; planning and forethought are the hallmark of a good dom. But also >you're going to be spitting up wool for the rest of the week. Daily life for a man married to a weresheep.
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>>116464 >convincing the dark elf that's after you that paizuri would be painful oh no how terrible
The delf surely must realise I cannot breathe under her butt.
>>116364 More like while everybody was scheming the court jester was already in bed with the king
>>116482 No surprise that the woman who brings a smile to the king's face everyday is his true love.
I demand scritches.
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It's snek koturday.
>>116397 >I LOVE TO RELOAD DURING A BATTLE. THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE FEELING OF SLAMMING A LONG, MANLY BULLET INTO MY WELL-GREASED CHAMBER
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Sloppy summoning circles lead to sloppy toppies. Succy toppy.
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>>116490 MODS ARE ASLEEP! POST SUMMONING SIRCLES!
>>116492 Pink candles, a perimeter of silken cord, Writing in good chalk, and in the center a cold glass of chocolate milk and a bottle of the best red wine I can find.
>>116490 my terrible handwriting and poor artistry would trick a succ into thinking they're about to bewitch a child when they see the amateur summoning sign
My summoning circle: >A hula hoop encircling a bunch of boxes of Wurm Gems and a subwoofer pointed down
>>116496 Unless there's more specific instructions in the circle, they might tell a Bogey or Bogie to take it from there.
>>116496 Wouldn't you feel bad giving her the bait and switch? Leave a disclaimer or something. >>116497 >a subwoofer pointed down Playing?
>>116496 >>116499 Nothing a potion from Succ-chan's dark mage friend can't fix.
>>116501 you could probably get some better bargaining leverage out of the initial dealings if you hit them with puppy eyes as a shota
>>116502 I shudder to imagine the kind of mamono who would BETTER INCLINED toward an Anon chucking puppy eyeballs at her.
>>116461 Oh no, how horrible. Imagine how awful that would definitely be. >>116482 He's fine, she fell down a dark wet hole on the way to the castle. She couldn't see that well.
>>116504 good thing there isn't some sort of lilim-bogie that could drag me into a strange plushie dimension full of bogeys, bogies, boggleboes and 1 selkie
>>116505 Oooooh, boggleboes! I would a boggleboe.
>>116488 Juste imagine the hugs
I'm smooching Ms Mukade, with no survivors.
>>116509 She's just a little thang, can't be that dangerous
>>116511 Her poison is more concentrated if she's smaller
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Dead hours
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>>116514 This is Sunday. Today we worship and give thanks to the Sun. The dead will rise.
>>116516 Forgive me Ms Nubis, for it is the sun's day, but i desire to worship your moon instead.
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>>116516 Need a priestess to worship on this sunday
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>>116514 Going at it the whole weekend with a Zombie that followed me home on a Friday night and now she's all healed and pristine because of all the mana I pumped endlessly into her in every single one of her holes
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beware of cat
>>116521 Is she one of them two-tailed ones or is she just wagging her tail hard?
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>>116522 Chen has two tails.
Harem seeking anons, what mamono would you seek out on portal day?
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>>116522 She's a nekomata
>>116463 >vampire talking to her dhampir sister right before the portal opens <"I don't know about this. Maybe we should wait until night time." <"If we wait that long it'll all be over." <"But my powers-" <"It's not about the powers, it never was. Just walk up to the guy and give him a hug." <"But-" <"No buts. Walk up to the guy, give him a hug, and everything will work out, I promise. Now get in there." >dhampir shoves her little sister through the portal as soon as it opens
I need a strong heroine. Heroine smell, heroine sweat, heroine juices.
>>116531 >I need strong heroine.
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>>116514 My favorite
>>116532 Pass the peace pipe, maaan.
Duuude. Weed Caterpillar, Lmao...
>>116532 >Did I ever tell you about that time unassuming Miss Hatter got some of the most powerful mist continent factions and families addicted to wonderhookah? >*inhales* >*blows smoke* >how else do you think she got all those fancy porcelain teapots and teacups, or all those exotic teas? >*inhales* >*blows smoke* >can’t blame them. This stuff is great.
>>116529 > Be me > Weirdest fucking day, big fucking portals have opened all over city, monster women have been pouring out, hugging people > Nothing else, just hugging people > Watching as this big clown woman is hugging a dude in a business suit when I hear footsteos behind me > Turn around, it's a woman dressed in a kinda Dracula with red eyes and little fangs in her mouth > "Human! I demand y--I implore y--would you like a hug?" > What? > She looks distraught. > "I would like to give you a hug. Would it be all right if I gave you a hug? My hugs are very nice." > Think on it for a moment, and then nod. > the vampire squeals in surprise, walks up to me slowly, and then slowly begins to hug me > It's...actually quite nice > Really damn nice. Like, holy shit > Before it, we're lying on the grass in a full body embrace, wrapped up tight in each other's arms > The vampire is tearing up a little bit from how happy she seems to be > Right nearby, someone who could be the vampire's sister or cousin or whatever gives her a thumbs up
>>116540 The Wonderlandian East Mist Continent Company...
>>116544 >Jinko attempts to put a stop to these dealings >The pure kingdom will not be tainted by foreign drugs >"You will leave immediately." The jinko growls, straightening to her massive 8 foot stature >Trader hatter looks to trader chesh >Smirks >"Let me handle this." >She teleports into the air so she can rest her arm on the too tall jinko's shoulder >The jinko is fast, and sidesteps away >Chesh tumbles embarassingly >Clears her throat >"Listen. You're a cat. I'm a cat. You may be sceptical of us but trust me." >She dangles a small leather pouch of desert kingdom catnip - a potent strain selectively bred for maximum punch >"What is it?" >"Trust me." >2 days later >All the jinkos (and cheshire) lazing around the port, playing with bottles and balls of yarn and, if they step too close, anons >Hatter watches onis load more tea into the clipper, which conveniently has a door to wonderland in the lower decks >the tea must flow
And this is why the jinkos are almost extinct today.
>>116545 So many cats to pet, this is heaven.
>>116547 Anon, there's so many simpler ways to get cats to pet. Is this really what you want to fixate on?
>>116549 All I see is cats in need of being saved and pet, what's wrong?
>>116550 "I would like to pet cats." >"OK, so let's start with a massive world-crossing drug ring." "Yes, this is appropriate. No simpler way to get there."
>>116552 You'd have to be Mad as a Hatter to pull this one
>>116552 i guess you could go to texas there's a surprising amount of jinkos there, although they are probably a little...strange
>>116552 Anon works for the cartel now.
>>116555 Yoi amigo de cattel!
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>>116555 The cat cartel trades in cocoa, catnip, gold and anons
Just saw a vid of a Bengal tiger rolling around in snow. My desire for white jinko has grown 3 times
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>>116559 snow leopards could use a population boost too
>>116561 DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN TIGER
>>116543 That sounds really creepy. In its own way. >>116545 Now I wonder what would a drugged-up Jinko be like.
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Manticore
>>116567 Batcat sex
>>116567 Manticore softcore
>>116567 Manticat distracting you with her mantiballoons so that you don't realize what she's doing with her mantimouth
>>116567 Beautiful but holy, that's some big watermelons
>>116567 i wish cats were real
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Plebs! I wish WURMS were real.
>>116574 Aren't you the spider fag?
>>116575 I'm a lot of kinds of fag.
>>116576 Lots of us are, but you keep insisting that all of us secretly want to fuck spooders.
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I'm a fag fag
>>116577 i also do that sometimes
today you learn
>>116587 Knowing things is overrated. If I need a piece of information I just make it up on the spot.
>>116588 You sound like a politician.
>>116577 ms haku laying naked on top of you for educational purposes. (the increased skin to skin contact improves the rate at which she can impart her knowledge into you)
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NUT
>>116587 Nooooo it's Sunday you can't make leaaaaaarn
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>>116592 i enjoy the constant absurdity of these fruits and vegetables
>>116593 >learning female anatomy on your hakutaku GF on Sunday
>>116594 For me, viagra scorpions are peak worldbuilding
>>116596 they might not even be alone in effect in the way some animals build up and render their poison from things they eat (like poison dart frogs), there might be demonrealm fauna that become extra potent aphrodisiacs from the strange diet they consume
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What do you all guys think about sahuagin? Recently reacquainted myself with them, they're horribly underrated and underrepresented. Perfect stealth predators, might come as kuu at first but their passion is expressed physically and directly rather than through words and gestures.
>>116599 i am pro-fish their scales are also a pretty funny way to shoehorn that style of swimsuit into the setting
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You get a wight "sugarmommy" but she is obsessed with brother-sister romance and wants you to pretend you two are actual siblings. Her parents have already prepared adoption papers.
>>116400 succuvirus who changed her class into "install wizard" and now helps me at work, making new software run on old hardware (really shows there the copro priorities are) and in return i let her put on her robe and wizard hat when we get home to cybersex
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I heard that bird watching can help protect against age-related mental decline. So I must be immune to dementia since I can't take my eyes off of harpy ass.
>>116605 It sounds like you secretly want to fuck b i r d s.
>>116599 i like them, id like a big gar sahuagin
cockatrice can lay eggs weighing up to 40% of their body weight
>>116602 So, uhh, what's the catch here?
>>116602 No thanks, I'll just grind a zombie.
>>116609 Your actual siblings and other family members will think you're super, duper, duper, duper, duper, duper fucked up.
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>>116610 i like the big zombie with the funny hat
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>>116612 Me too, buddy. Me too.
>>116610 I'll just let a zombie grind me.
>>116611 In that situation i would have married an admitedly very pretty corpse. I don't think the incest roleplay matters much. It's not like they have to find out. I can just tell them she always dreamed of having a sibling, etc.
>"Hey. Got any tungsten?"
>>116616 Is she having pregnancy cravings again?
>>116617 I have a pregnancy craving. It's my craving to get a monster girl PREGNANT.
>>116616 >>116617 Tungsten's melting point is 3222 degrees celsius. Lava is about 1000 degrees celsius. But maybe I'm missing something.
>>116618 might be cool
>>116619 She needs it for building materials, maybe.
>>116621 Tungsten sex toy?
>>116616 Rtil always makes the best monsrer girl art.
>>116619 It gets a little chewy around 1000.
>>116619 tungsten has some volcanic ores, like wolframite
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>>116578 That's fine too
>>116626 You mean the other way around? Still doesn't make sense for her to ask for tungsten (an element) instead of the ore.
>>116628 Maybe she is a modern lady familiar with the transition metals?
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>>116606 >secretly It's no secret. I proudly admit that I want to help a harpy fill up her nest.
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>>116630 but it must be kept secret; imagine the scandal if they knew you were having carnal relations with your maid. (note: every knew and nobody cared)
Look at this cute fox. Such a pure and benevolent creature. Definitely not someone who'd ever KON you.
>>116632 What’s “Kon” mean?
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Consider feisty loli Hellhounds and Manticores
>>116637 i am not brave enough to write a loli manticore or jabberwock story
>>116636 It is an onomatopoeia. In Japan cats go "nya" foxes go "kon". These ones probably won't con you though. They look pretty trustworthy to me.
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danger: Old Women
>>116639 >loli jabberwock story >loliwock makes Anon lose it and rape her
>>116642 400 years is still young...
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>>116642 warning ignored
>>116644 >hear the Old Women klaxon blaring outside >notice the 3 young women caught unawares in the street >offer to let them shelter at your place until the alarm ends >achievement unlocked: foxes in the henhouse weird, what's that all about. anyways,
THE GENITAL WARS
>>116648 Yeah, the fact that Old Women can so easily disguise themselves as much younger mamono is one of the greatest dangers of a raid; I've heard of people trying to tell them apart by asking potential Old Women what memes they're familiar with or what social media they use, but the Old Women got clued in and we're back to square one.
>>116647 These two look quite nice. Would they want to have a nice dinner and/or a bath together first, or would they want to get right to fucking?
>>116655 >Would they want to have a nice dinner and/or a bath together first, or would they want to get right to fucking? Nice dinner in the bath together while fucking.
>>116656 I really like when they watch while they wait for their turn, also sex as dinner entertainment instead of a movie or tv is the best
Can I get a fox with kot ears?
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>>116659 What if I am very polite? And offer the tube food?
>>116657 That's what sets apart women with class from vulgar fluffy eared harlots that go into heat from seeing dick and start yipping like animals
>>116648 Maybe it's just me, but I'm really into the idea of me being locked at home and having mamono hags trying to lure me into opening the door and letting them in.
>>116657 Even school plays are like that
imagine french kikis
>>116665 With the accents and the revealing maid uniforms and the constant innuendos? I most certainly can imagine them.
>>116665 You're telling me kikis weren't already french?
>>116667 Their original legend was slavic, actually, so technically they should have some manner of Eastern European accent.
French Banshee
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French Zombies
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>>116671 Sex with zombies
>lots of french talking going on itt >but, everyone forgets that one french
>>116676 the mucus toad demands keeps talking to me but I don't know what she's saying but she keeps hopping about and moving her legs. What a strange creature she is.
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>>116598 I'm just going to start licking toads and see what happens.
i want an elder umi osho one that has seen a village grow from its founding
You get to combine any two currently existing mamono into one new species. What do you pick?
>>116681 dragon wight dullahan shark vampire arachne lamia ghoul ochimusha beetle
>>116681 Ushi and Oomu MORE LEGS MORE SEGGS Also more interesting and varied rape!
>>116681 Dark Mage x Mad Hatter, a.k.a. the Mad Mage or the Dark Hatter, an hat-obsessed lunatic with nigh-unlimited sorcery at her disposal.
>>116599 I don't think about them often, but they're good fishies. >>116619 She wants something crunchier for a change. >>116681 Bogey Jinko
>>116684 >hat-obsessed lunatic lol, would [tea] party with
>>116685 May I instead interest you in an Ushi-bogey? It doesn't matter how you respond. You WILL be cuddled and you WILL like it.
>>116687 I trust my Bogey Jinko to keep me safe.
>>116688 That's just more cuddling, Anon! It's almost as if you WANT to be covered in very large, cuddly monsters!
>>116688 >>116689 Whoever loses, we win.
>>116689 Just one for me.
>>116681 shoggoth + myconid zooming, hug-seeking shogs literally bouncing off the walls
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Danger: Kot rape imminent.
>>116678 Mystic toads, what secrets do they hold?
>>116694 Is it really ancient wisdom if it comes from an acid trip that leaves you with a boner? Yes, yes it is
>>116695 What do you think ancient wisdom is, if not the caveman equivalent of getting high and doing a podcast.
>>116695 Mucus toad looks like a very untrustworthy tripsitter.
>>116698 If you decide to lick the toad, you have to live with the consequences
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>>116693 It's not rape if she's cat
Ceris doodle because I've been thinking about her all day.
>>116703 You're getting quite a bit better. You should Post in the drawthread.
>>116681 Does hellhound+minotaur=cape buffalo?
>>116681 jinko + bunyip for max comfy fluff hug and brush time
>>116681 ushi-oni and raiju
>>116705 Hey thanks, man. Forgot we had one of those, honestly.
>>116710 >Forgot we had one of those Isn't the last post yours?
>>116712 Nah never posted in there. Think the last thing I posted in here was big fox titties, but it's been awhile.
>>116714 You mean the purple fox? (>>18709) Otherwise, i thought you were someone else.
>finish getting groceries >sacked >go on a walk in nature >sacked >study abroad at a foreign university >sacked >stay in bed too long after she got up >sacked >stay out of bed too long after she got in >sacked >wants to show you a snow newt she found in the creek >sacked
Nah, last thing I posted was back here >>110878.
>>116716 Snow newt?
>>116717 Meant for >>116715 It's too late, Nightmare-chan is sabotaging my posts.
>>116552 I think the thought process is in the opposite direction, more like "There's a massive country wide drug problem of feline mamono addocted to catnip! We gotta do something!" >"don't care, i pet the cats"
>>116719 Now i remember. Regardless, it's some good progress.
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>>116716 But can she do sexy things to me while I'm in the sack? I thought not.
>>116722 And if you're clever enough, you can bring your sack-kit in there with you. What's a sack-kit? Why, it's the Krampus-bait's survival package! It has a flashlight, some snacks and a handheld gaming system with extra batteries. Never be caught without your sack-kit.
>>116722 It’s mostly air tight so she can just leave you to fumigate in there with her sweaty panties.
It's finally moonday. Thinking about moo's moon.
>>116726 I want cheshy to moon me
>>116726 I don't know about associating the ever hated Monday with cows
>>116726 Ah, home-baked goods! One of my many weaknesses!
>>116729 Don't know about you, but I'd hate Mondays a lot less if I had a moo moon cake to go home to every week.
>>116726 Mighty musky muscular mino moons? More likely than you might think. Just don't let one sit on your face. They heavy. And sweaty. And smelly.
>>116718 Yes indeed. They fluoresce in response to a strong magnetic field, mimicking the northern lights in appearance and function. This is why snownubis has affixed a horseshoe magnet to her staff. Whitehorn think it's a sign of respect because they're all more or less airheads. It's actually for identifying true and false snow newts.
>>116734 Cool worldbuilding detail
You might have to dress like a monster's husband eventually. See, if you get isekaid with only the clothes on your back, you'll need to find some new duds. You might think the locals dress weird, but then they think the exact same thing of you. It might be a wonderland suit, or a zipangu yukata, or a dragonian vest. Sure, you'll still have your original clothes, and you might be able to find a skilled arachne that can recreate what's familiar to us. But, you will have to dress matching your wife, and you'll have to live with that. Or you could be naked.
>>116736 I'll wear whatever the missus says unless it's assless chaps or a mime outfit
>>116736 No, I'm going to keep wearing my tracksuit pants and plain t-shirt setup forever
>>116738 >isekai protagonist slav-maxxing with his Adidas tracksuit and uncanny ability to maintain a squatting position for hours on end
>>116738 I hope the kikis, arachnes, beelzebubs, jorogumo, weresheep, stylist monsters and/or fashion fairies do unspeakable things to you.
>>116736 >dressing up like a krampus >like Santa Claus good end?
>>116740 >Jorou-Gumo weaves the silkiest smoothest tracksuit imaginable >still choose the old stained one because it "carries memories"
>>116742 I too want to enrage Night Face Jorou-Gumo.
>>116736 I don't get how that would be a bad thing: clean and well-made clothes
>Trying to throw away anon's old tracksuit >"It belongs to me!" cries anon >"It belongs in a museum!" cries the lilim >"It belongs on a menu!" cries the moth
>>116736 >craft a rough suit of armor from the shed dragon scales you found while taking shelter in a cave >it's a dangerous world and you're going to need all the protection you can get
>>116746 Anon is going to wake up to find that the dragon living in that cave has returned and she is PISSED that Anon stole her shed scales. Also, she is turned on as hell, but you know how tsun dragons are.
It is sahu LORE that their shed scales are used to make clothes for others.
>>116747 She should be proud and happy, dragon can be such cunts
>>116748 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary Over many a quaint and curious volume of Sahuagin lore
>>116750 Anon, this is just a bunch of pictures of Sahuags in school swimsuits.
I need a pic of a sahu rising from the waters with a sigh that says It's a limited number of signs while blushing
>>116750 The sahu school swimsuit camel toe. Does she even know it is a swimsuit? Does she even know what a camel is? The lore is deep.
>>116753 >with a sigh with a sign * I'll see myself out
>>116752 >>116754 Why does the Sahu Swimsuit Catalog consist of 6 volumes of 700+ pages, all leatherbound, goldfoiled and with those fancy cloth bookmarks?
>>116756 If you have to ask, you are not ready.
Which monster makes sea monster clothing? mermaids?
>dragon has decided your head is very egg-like >deagon now insists on sitting on your face all day
>>116759 >deagon She's really dumb
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>>116745 I rejected those answers. I chose the impossible. I chose... cutting it up into rags. Where the tracksuit will not stink after one day of being worn. Where the fabric won't need to be mended after every damn wash. Where the zippers won't get caught or need to be reattached if you pull too hard.
>>116759 What dragon butt smell like?
>>116749 >dragon upset because anon didn't make a very good set of armor out of her scales (what would the other dragons think?) >forcibly takes him to a professional armor smith to have it done properly
>>116763 Or how to discourage someone from a hobby by spitting on his work and pointing out only the bad points, also called abuse
>>116761 this is a scary kiki
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I like my monstergirls with terrifying features.
>>116766 snek mouth erotic
>>116766 Pic unrelated?
Something that occurred to me this morning is that at every ikea or other furniture store, there's at least one unhappy employee who's job is to keep people from fucking on the beds.
we can say apophis has a long sexy snexy probing snek tongue. as a treat. for throat fucking anon.
>>116769 Another thing solved by mamonobanana, this would be a regular part of testing potential new bed.So why is the employee still kept at the bed section? In case a lonely mamono wants to try a bed. It's a position with oddly high turnover though.
>Ask grem if she can, SCIENTIFICALLY, make the most comfortable or best bed possible >What could possibly go wrong
>>116772 The bed she eventually produces is just a mound of weresheep wool and bogey stuffing, and the only way to wake up someone sleeping on it is to physically pull them off or spray them with a firehose.
>>116773 >It's so good, that even the sheep are sleeping on it! >It's so COMFY, that even the ROBOTS are kipping on it! >It's so BRILLIANT, that even the ROBOT SHEEP are taking naps on it!
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>>116766 like huge boobs
>>116772 Scientifically the best bed is grem tits.
>>116776 anon...
>>116777 It's true. She proved it. Now to find some grem tits.
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>>116772 in a shocking turn of events, it's jinko abs
>>116776 Best pillow maybe, but you couldn't use them as a full size bed. I mean, unless there was a shrink ray involved, but grem would never do such a thing.
>>116780 oh that'd be terrible. no that's right out of the question. it's unspeakable. i mean could you even imagine that. and if she then zipped up her overalls? horrible.
>>116779 I'm surprised to see muscle from this artist. Cute Jinko.
>>116782 It's a cute pic, but the lack of a nose kinda bothers me.
>>116783 It's there, it's just rightbellow the hair. You can still see the tip of her nose.
>>116784 Ah, I can see it, but it's so barely visible that it looks like a bit of extra shading than anything else.
>>116779 I trust that, it looks like a nice pillow and maybe a glass to drink alcohol from
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Stupid fucking fairies stealing my food. That's what I get for moving in next to a magical forest
>>116787 just set up a hummingbird feeder
>>116787 <yeah well I guess I ate your cherries lol <now what are you going to do about it, big guy? stretch me out with your big human cock to teach me a lesson?
>>116789 This fairy's been reading too much smut on Ao3.
>>116789 30 minutes in the tarantula cage
>>116791 that should have been meeee
>>116792 Arachneberg is free to enter at any time, despite all the warning signs on the way there.
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>>116791 You fool! They'll just bond and gang up on you!
>>116791 >2 minutes later she's tamed the tarantula and is sitting on its back like a tiny horse never underestimate fairy magic
>>116793 I hear you can get good therapeutic wrap treatment there
>>116793 it's not that bad but they keep making fun of my fit, suggesting new clothes and then feeling me up while taking my measurements
>>116797 dont take it personally. they just want an excuse to use their excess silk.
>>116798 they could spot a visitor or an unmarried man right away from their clothes although the guy wearing a burlap bag is probably married to an ushi
>>116798 Spinneret sex is the fastest and most effective cure for arachnophobia
>>116800 i thought that was sexy spiders
>>116800 I'm not so sure about that anon...
>>116802 If you stick your dick in the weird spidery hole, it makes no sense to be afraid of spiders anymore. Checkmate, arachnophobes.
>>116800 >>116803 But what if I get my dick stuck?
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>>116800 its best to ease them into it with their normal hole with quadruple leglocking. then they can start working on exposure therapy after hes been cocooned in his sleep
I let this stupid green bitch become my roommate because I thought she might filter the air and deal with the flies. Now my house reeks of acid and the only thing she's caught is pizza, which I have to bring to her from the door because she's too lazy to get up.
>>116806 you should crash on her weird looking couch and refuse to leave. lets see how she likes that!
>>116793 >at the arachneberg visitor center >the receptionist hands you a little survey querying where you heard about it, the reasons for your visit and so on >all of the multiple choice answers have at least 1 box that says '[ ] secretly wants to fuck spiders' >she's doing some small talk and asks you what brings you to arachneberg >tell her you're really interested in the unique local architecture and infrastructure >she gives an exaggerated wink and a knowing nod her nearby coworker saying "yeah, architecture. sure." maybe i should just starting wearing an I'm a Spiderfucker shirt
>>116808 Spiders don't like big bold brash movements. You gotta be subtle with it, they already know.
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dragons are just big, strong, scaly, fire-breathing chickens
>>116811 And the chicken evolved from the tyrannosaurus
>get some traps to keep the fairies out of the house >nothing harmful, just binds and immobilizes them until you release them outside >most of them get the message after being caught once or twice, but one of them keeps coming back >almost like she enjoys it
>>116813 I keep a butterfly net around to remove flies and other dumbasses that make their way inside during the summer, I'm sure it would work on a fairy as well
>>116813 i've taken the same wolf spider out of my house 3 times and she keeps coming back
>>116815 I bet there's something edible in your house that you're not aware of
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Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass.
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>>116809 they say when they were staring at you like this behind your back for minutes beforehand
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Yandere arachne but the boy she's obsessed with has crippling arachnophobia.
>>116820 There's a story in AO3 with this very premise, where the cure turns out to be intense exposure therapy from three arachnid mamono.
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>>116820 >she would simply cut you out of the web and let you go if you'd stop flailing like a common prey animal and activating all these predatory instincts >there, he's finally calming down >ah, shit. she noticed somewhere in the kerfuffle her fangs had embedded themselves into him and he's been pumped full of venom >well, this is quite a mess now >best to watch over him and provide some relief until the venom works its way out of his system anon really should be more careful and considerate
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I love hot young ladies.
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I love centaurs because they're beautiful and noble creatures. NOT because I'm a horse fucker.
>>116825 I like that archer hoss
>>116825 Well obviously. You're a horse fucker because you like centaurs.
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>>116827 what a twist
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they're cute when they're small but they don't stay small forever
>>116829 i'll take 3
>>116829 Ugh. Pleb take. I bet you prefer kittens to adult cats, too. You need a BEEG USHI for many reasons, a few of which are not rape-related!
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>>116824 then you'll love the royal makai
>>116832 I wish this guy went back to making monster doujinshi, a mature Troll made by Hroz would be amazing
>>116829 >>116831 What's the smallest adult Ushi?
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>>116834 something like this, maybe?
>>116778 >Now to find some grem tits. Sadly, they're often not found, but made. Fortunately, there's a potion for that and some greens do body hacking in their own. >Gremmy proudly showing off her new and improved breasts to her friends >They were made to her husband's exact specifications >She doesn't get the mole, but maybe it's like the human equivalent of a racing stripe or something.
>>116808 >spider architecture is very three dimensional and you hit a wall quite literally when the path continues straight up a cliff >the spiders seem perfectly fine with it but you're more than a little nervous about a 200 foot vertical climb >luckily one of the spider girls notices you staring at the wall and offers you a ride >all you have to do is sit on her big spidery abdomen and hold onto her waist while she climbs to the top
Some MGC restaurant ideas I wanna share, cause I fucking love this theme: Nothing but Meat > Any mamono (or human) who loves their barbecue, this restaurant's whole schtick is serving massive quantities of meat and nothing but meat > Pick the type of meat, how cooked you want it (raw to charred), and what kind of sauce you wan t it slathered on > No utencils, eat it with your hands/paws/claws like the Maou intended > Very popular among orks, hellhounds, and other meat-eating mamono The Hag Cafe: > An American-style diner with lots of chrome surfaces, checkerboard tile floors and a plethora of hags in tight-fitting waitress uniforms > Specializes in breakfast all day and other home cooking > Single men eat for free and get the deluxe experience from the staff > Staff turnover is high due to the hags getting married to their customers The Beeg House: > Do you like your monster girls big? No, not just big, beeg? Really beeg? The Big House is where you wanna go, where all the waitresses are a minimum of six and a half feet tall and oftentimes considerably taller > Restuarant is built to an extra large scale, with ample room in all the booths for the beegest of mamono > Portions of food are also similarly scaled > Free uppies are offered to all human customers > Staff turnover is also very high, due to the beeg waitresses physically carrying off customers
>>116838 >The Hag Cafe: Like thise 50s dinners, they even serve in rollerskates when they get your order to your car and they get in the car too
>>116838 Beeg house sounds like my kind of place. What sort of food do they serve, and who is on staff?
>>116838 Papa Wendigo takes the family out to Nothing but Meat for birthdays and other special occasions
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>>116838 I want P'orc for takeout with a side of Troll
>>116841 The food is very heavily focused on food easily eaten by beeg monsters with beeg fingers, so a lot of finger foods and burgers and sandwiches and things like that; they're especially proud of their alcohol menu, filled with mixed drinks strong enough to get even the beegest of monsters good and hammered (no small feat that). The staff? Any kind of monster girl you can name, there can and will be a beeg version of them you can find at the Beeg House. Again, thanks to the staff turnover there's a huge variety in the kind of mamono actually working there, so if there's one you're interested in you'll need to eat there fairly regularly.
>>116838 >An American-style diner with lots of chrome surfaces, checkerboard tile floors I'm already sold even without the horny women and free food. That gives me an idea for a sister franchise though: a burger drive in styled in the same time period, and hags in skates bring the food to your car. Naturally, you can invite them in to feed you or share a meal and a conversation. Note that in some cases you'll need a truck. Vans also work, but are a little, uh, risky.
>>116842 Nothing but Meat actually does birthday parties, complete with a cake entirely made of meat.
>>116838 Le Paris Cafe >A quiet little corner coffee house, centered mostly on all forms of coffee but with light bites like croissants, muffins, and a few egg dishes also available >Everything is made from scratch in the kitchen and they roast their own beans >Staffed primarily by French Maid style kikis, but anyone who can walk the walk and talk the talk might work there so long as they can pull off the uniform >Loitering (and flirting with the staff) while you read the paper or some higher-minded work is encouraged >If you hear "cyka blyat" from the kitchen don't mention it, acknowledging that is uncouth and the staff will act like you're hearing things >There is no non-smoking section Shack Shaker >An ice cream joint run mostly by cows >They sell all manner of milks shakes, ice cream, and milk-based confections >Most of their products are made with normal cow's milk, but if you try something that tastes a little extra, be sure to let the staff know. It means one of the girls took a liking to you, she'll come out and tell you what her special touch was >Warning, they do employ hakutaku and theor explanations may get a little long though it will be interesting >Yes, part of the special touch is always her own milk and yes, this means you have carte blanche to touch the cow Maeve&Buster's >I mean, they technically sell food since the barcade has deep friers and microwave pizza, but let's not pretend the main draw isn't the gremlin-designed arcade games you can play while munching on junk food or sipping a cold one >It's not uncommon for the staff to have greasy handprints on their butts or a different kind of grease on their thighs and faces >Their claim to fame is laser tag with aphrodisiac lasers in a large room with lots of places to, uh, take a break from the game >After every round players are offered a complimentary bottle of the establishment's Weaselade, a caffeinated electrolyte recovery beverage >They do have kickass nachos too, though
>>116681 shoggoth automaton nanomachine swarm that's so beyond my power level that writing the difference down requires orders of magnitude for the orders of magnitude. she can turn the whole local cluster into paperclips if she so desires. but instead she chooses to follow my orders and be my sexbot, because she says i have the "master password" or something, I don't really get it but i play along anyways. might be tsundere or in denial, to mask her desire to serve like that. but in it's own way that's also kinda hot, how much she trusts me to be her master.
>>116838 What I would do for a cat cafe with real kots: >European-style café with old wood furniture >Low orange light and blinds allow for a comfy and secretive ambiance >Jazz music playing in the background >A few scratching posts for stress relief >Big resting sofa where guests are invited to rest (cats might join) >Tuxedo werecat as the main barista and head of the establishment. She's always cheerful and her favorite is a cappuccino with the milk foam forming two cat ears and whiskers >Cheshire preparing delicious tea blends based on your choice of treats >Jinko chef making beautiful pastries with hypnotizing intensity but everything chocolate related is made by ocelomeh >All savory amuse-bouches (mainly fish and meat) are made by an old nekomata and a manticore >Differents kots in sober maid outfits serve food and drinks and laze around during slower hours, especially the sphinx one >After 11 pm, when the kitchen is closed and cleaned, alcohol can be served and guests are invited to share a drink with staff
>>116848 >Paris coffee Peak, feels like home and being surrounded by mostly kiki would be so nice
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>>116838 just fuck me up
>>116848 A monster girl designed Dave and Busters is such a brilliant idea that I'm kinda jealous I didn't think of it myself. Also, I will happily listen to the haku so long as I get to touch the cow.
>>116853 >A whole fucking lot of barbecued meat and brew shared with a tipsy pyrow and salamander God, that'd be a great time even if I didn't get laid, which I would to and badly.
>>116845 Not being in a van isn't going to stop the hags if they want to make a move; customers to Hag Burger are *strongly* encouraged to bring some manner of cleaning supplies for after their meal.
>>116853 Japanese artists have mastered the ability of making food look orgastically good
>>116856 At some point you're going to need more physical room even if the pack won't stop her from trying. Think about it: snex the waitress strapped several skateboards to her tail in your Fiesta isn't going to work well. Much better to have a truck with a camper shell or a shag wagon instead. You know what you're going there for, be prepared.
>>116838 karaoke bar run by harpies the hive: ask us about the royal jelly (don't ask them about the royal jelly) jello shots at the slime pit bunny themed bunyip bar but they're all too nervous to go to the counter when anon shows up
>>116858 True, true. I imagine that the local car rental places make a killing on renting to people wanting to go to Hag Burger.
High energy mamono Low energy anon
>>116861 >when you're an aspiring necromancer but you keep raising gyaru zombies and it turns out the forbidden necromantic grimoire you've been studying was written by a gyaru lich this is fine
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Any monstergirl can be improved by making them a gyaru. gyaru shirohebi gyaru jubjub gyaru dark mage even a gyaru kikimora
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>>116865 >Gyaru alp.
>>116865 It's hard for slimes to get a tan and put on make up.
>>116867 They just dye their slime the color of tanned skin.
>>116865 Gyaru manticore that looks at her phone as she casually pumps you full of venom and drains you with her tailpussy
>>116865 Gyaru hatter? Gyaru bogie?
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>>116865 the salaryman's natural predator
>>116865 >Any monstergirl can be improved by making them a gyaru. And then improved even further by making them lolis, imagine: loli gyaru Hellhound loli gyaru Manticore loli gyaru Dark Mage loli Balrog (already gyaru)
>>116867 they get a spray tan
>>116870 Gyaru Bogie and Bogey to play the naughty and nice bully duo. I could totally go for that.
>>116874 What does a gyaru clown even look like?
Did you know that the difference between a graveyard and a cemetery is that a graveyard had a church adjoined to it? So if you go to a dragon graveyard, you can find dagon zombies in Hell habits.
>>116866 Hey, if you weren't looking at her horns (LOLFAG) you wouldn't even be able to tell. >>116854 >TFW the haku ice cream girl will never sit in your lap and enthusiastically tell you about the ancient Mongolian (no, really) fermentation technique she used to make her signature rum raisin ice cream >TFW you will never squeeze her titty while she does this
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>>116865 >any monster can be improved... I just imagined that and I really doubt that. Gal-flayers look extra creepy. Gal-pires are a fucked up mix. Gal-shee is... well... what the fuck is it gonna be, even? Gal-dragons, on the other hand...
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>>116881 >Gal-pires are a fucked up mix. In a good way. I'd even consider a relationship with one. >Gal-shee is... well... what the fuck is it gonna be, even? A cute girl, of course.
>>116882 >In a good way Bitch, Imma be working as matchmaker for vampires once dotr strikes. So many vampire fags this side of the portals. If I charge an ounce of gold per every vampire successfully shoveled off, I mean wed, I'll be able to buy a kingdom on that side of the portals and populate it with single dragon girls.
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>>116865 >gyaru Zombie I hope she never Wights
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>>116884 Fuck you *wights a random zombie*
>>116884 >Gyaru Wight She's simply too powerful
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>>116885 >>116886 Would a gyaru wight be "Gight"?
>>116887 This one looks more like Night Nigger wight
>>116887 She would be gyatt
>>116885 >mage anon's unfathomable power allows him to wight zombies instantly >zombie shelters and concerned relatives are breaking down the door to his wizard tower to help their poor girls
>>116890 I'll be building an Insta-Wight Machine Gun and shooting them with insta-wight bullets to speed up the process. It's like an augmentation dispenser, only a lot faster.
"600 wights per minute!" - An ad on the wall featuring the address of my wizard tower
>>116885 give me the hatter plush or the wight gets it.
>>116893 The only thing this wight is getting is free dicking from me.
>>116893 Don't threaten her with a good time.
If you kiss a wight's hand will it tingle because of the spectral claws?
>>116884 The lights are on but nobody's home
>>116897 Mothman pickup line.
>>116896 >kissing a wight's hand, your face going through the spectral claws >holding a wight's slender, delicate hand with her claw closed around yours >interlocking fingers with a wight from behind and keeping your hands on top of hers inside her claws, while pounding her
>she was given a second chance >somewhere in Nevada...
>>116901 >send out your noble warrior >she comes back like this >cry out and lament this terrible fate that has befallen her >remove those ridiculous accessories they've forced her to wear >have her spend an extended session in the hot springs >give her warm thick clothing >vow vengeance upon monster kind
>>116907 That dog do be doin, but what the dog doin I dunno.
>>116908 shes doing a big think (you can see the smoke coming out of her head)
Alps son or Sabbath daughter?
>>116909 Big think + Big dog + Big ambitions = Big walk with anon.
>>116911 I hear the duck harpies have been into big walks recently
>>116912 That's two different Discord daughters.
Dead hours
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incoming
>>116916 Teaching the Chinese zombie how to properly operate a door!
>>116808 Can't I be here for 2 things? >Cool local architecture / infrastructure >Find cyute spooder to marry and only then have sex with
>>116920 the smoothies are pretty good too
>>116921 I don't want to carbo load while I am moving around erratically to attract the attention of potential mates.
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Zapped and plapped by an (un)common raiju bandit
milkin' the big panda tiddy
>>116774 do robot sheep dream of human men?
>>116846 >with a cake entirely made of meat that's just timpano or pizza rustica
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Restaurants are fine but can't beat homemade meals. The secret ingredient is ai desu
>>116929 Ai? Wut?
>>116930 Ai is Zipangese for love and desu means desu
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>>116907 I want to participate in transdimensional slave trade
>>116933 >Matchmaking for bdsm enjoyers I can see something like that where an Eros church """sells""" mamonos to compatible anon and vice versa
>>116924 Was this leak approved by the party?
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Jelqing works but you need a balrog or pyrow to assist you.
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Imagine accidentally impregnating your cat, how are you going to deal with this?
>>116938 A cat is fine too.
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>>116937 >Pyrow gf jelqing your dick >(You) jelqing her flesh horns
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>>116938 I guess my dog is going to get jealous
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>>116941 If she has been a good girl she can have one too
>>116942 that's a weird dog
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>>116838 >>116848 I have added these to the list
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>>116944 Foxes are just dogs with extra steps and they deserve your babies too
Due to the recent stuff in the /meta/ thread, I'm going to be more strict when it comes to "politics" in this thread. If you want to make a post about Danuki, and the only thing you can come up with is "danuki=jew", don't post. Similarly, if the only thing you can come up with is "hellhound=nigger", don't post. Usually i'd be forgiving with posts that are attempting to be humorous, but given the fact these posts are currently just an attempt to insert IRL arguments into the thread I will be giving you a warning and deleting the post.
>>116950 I think you are being slightly oversensitive about innocent passing jokes and letting a schizo influence modding like this is not the best way to handle it, but that's just me
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>>116938 By becoming a father and cry tear of joy
>>116953 >fur everywhere
>>116954 Magic can fix it
>>116955 I think a vacuum is an easier solution.
>>116956 It could scare the cats
>>116957 There are silent vacuums. People just buy them less because they've grown accustomed to the sound, so they think they have less power.
>>116958 for me it's Henry
>>116959 >Cheshire with a tabletop mini Henry that she keeps in her boob pocket for emergencies
>>116172 >each head is all the same wife >still makes sure you kiss them all equally >and give their necks equal hickey coverage >and how dare you think you could ever leave one boob unsucked
If you are a real man I dare you to walk up to a sleeping feral hellhound and turn on a vacuum cleaner next to her.
>>116950 For me Danuki equals auntster and Friday
>>116963 You spooked the hellhound AND convinced her that there are vacuum cleaners prowling the area so she must protect you from them.
>>116964 sentenced to spend 2 years in a 'nuki trade company and separated from anyone even vaguely related to you
>>116964 And Hellhound equals sex
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>>116964 The best auntster
>>116967 Preggo sex.
>>116966 hagseatic league
>>116964 For me it's shrewd merchant sex and opening a join account.
>>116971 big nuki tail
>>116950 I don't see anything about it in the /meta/ thread. I don't find this kind of thing funny in 80% of the cases either, but I don't want it banned. I've seen enough communities destroyed when people arbitrarily decide something needs to be banned right this very second and there's no discussion allowed about it and everyone who even thinks about so-and-so should fuck off. Are you sure this isn't some kind of an overreaction or a powertrip? Sure, ban the guy that blatantly wants to screech about politics and uses monstergirls as codewords, but don't go overboard.
>>116973 >I don't see anything about it in the /meta/ thread. There was a chain of extremely sus posts from a guy hallucinating about america hate and some smuglo boogeyman and other stupid shit, he even managed to piss off the BO and he ended up nuking everything.
>>116971 Auntie opening my first investing account and giving me all my first times
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>>116734 This staff?
>>116963 I wouldn't only because if I have to get rape, at least make it a cat (not a cait sith)
>>116976 deepest lore
>>116976 Wintertown 'nubis makes the schedule thing a bit more tolerable. Cuteness is truly a powerful weapon
>>116976 >Snow. Just as planned. I did this. >great, plan a date next
>>116980 >Anubis in the baking isle >"Behold! MANY dates!" >Sighing pharaoah sighs even harder
>>116976 do you think the news rata gets nervous around the pharaoh's snake?
>>116982 Probably. Ratas are conniving little cowards who KEEP EATING BLACK WALNUTS ON MY BALCONY AND LEAVING THE REMNANTS.
>>116983 Hire a cat to deal with rodents
>>116985 >Hire nekomata to deal with the Ratas >Ratas pet nekomata in kot form >Nekomata defeated
>>116986 >Hire Nekomata to deal with Ratas >Nekomata misbehaves >Hire Hellhounds to deal with Nekomata >Hellhounds misbehave >Hire Griphon to deal with Hellhounds >Griphon misbehaves >Hire Lamia to deal with Griphon >... I'm getting tired of this.
>>116987 Perhaps the one who should deal with it... was you all along?
>>116987 Somewhere a bicorn is steepling her fingers together and saying "exactly according to keikaku"
>>116988 >Hire myself to take care of the problem. >Get raped by the problem. Guess i should have dealt with it before it became unmanageable. Now they all eat my nuts on the balcony and leaving the remnants.
>>116986 You didn't promise double the amount of tuna for each rata chased away? That's on you.
>>116991 I can tune a piano but I can't tuna fish
>>116992 Skill issue.
>>116993 >Anon's tuna mermaid neighbor loves to sing... >But only sea shanties, and wildly off-key >Anon is at his wit's end!
>>116994 Positive reinforcement. Every time she hits a note she gets a kiss from me. You can tune a fish pretty easily that way.
>>116994 >every morning at the crack of dawn >"Come all you young seafarers, listen to me! i'll sing you a song of the fish in the sea!" >every fucking morning >fine, let's play along AND IT'S WINDY WEATHER BOYS, STORMY WEATHER BOYS! WHEN THE WIND BLOWS THEN WE'RE ALL TOGETHER BOYS!
>>116992 Kek, I laughed
>>116997 That pun is a literal crime against comedy.
>>116998 I know that's not true because it didn't give me an erection. Lookin' at you, sealed foxes!
>>116999 What?
Lick clowns
>>117000 You know what! Foxes are anti-comedy.
>>117002 You can still prank them
>>116998 I'm just weak to cheshs
>>117004 plz no trust cheshy; she is criminol kot
>>117005 Poor thing looks too sad, must touch
>>117005 What happens to chesh employees at cat cafes when they can't stop playing pranks.
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>>116924 i've underestimated the power of bamboo
>>117007 Well, if it were up to ME...
>>117009 This, based anon
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>>116964 This but Foxes too
>>117002 What does that even mean?
>>117011 Why is she mad?
>>117015 foxes resent wearing underwear
>>117015 Because she's in an AI generated image. I'd be mad to tbh.
>>117015 Because danukis were mentioned before foxes despide being the superior auntster
>>117019 Cheshy has randomly chosen violence.
>>117020 she was bored
>>117017 your brain was AI generated
>>117021 by anon's PENIS! (note, bored as in penetrated like a drill as in he had sex with her. not as in she was unimpressed with his phallus)
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Baphos are and will always be the superior auntster, they are always hip and cool, plus they have a huge libido, a beautiful young body and they have the same pastimes and tastes as you
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>>117023 Cheshy when she sees my dick.
>>117025 LOL (lots of laughter). Get 'em chesh.
>>117024 >they are always hip and cool Nothing worse than an old mamono thinking she's kept up with the times while trying to use outdated lingo in the most cringe inducing way.
>>117028 What? That's cute, though.
My fetish is hags dressing like they're far younger than they are. Give me a thousand-year-old fox or balrog dressing up in a skimpy gyaru outfit.
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>>117028 That's part of their charm
>>117030 It should not QUITE fit them, though. It should be just a little too small for them.
ENOUGH with the aunts.
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>>117033 Yes, with need more Christmas cakes for after-work meetings
>>117034 A christmas cake snake is more of a yule log.
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>>117034 Monster girls in office attire is always acceptable, bonus points for hag monster girls.
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least horny fox
>>117017 Would you show the court where on the doll the Automaton touched you?
>>116840 Need hag spooder in rollerskates. She would be absolutely INSANELY terrifying skittering around in skates.
>>116793 >go to the spider festival >check out the spider rodeo (what's a spider rode?) >it's ushis. like, a lot of ushis >get a commemorative handknit shirt (it's itchy, but essentially kevlar) >pass by stands full of mysterious spider games, spider hobbies and spidercow tools >file into a big arena to see what the show's all about, getting jostled by a couple spider opisthosomas along the way >the passageways are surprisingly small but the spiders are mostly hanging on the ceiling doing upsidedown spider kiss ambushes >take a seat. there's a nearby string you can strum if you want spider concessions and sundries >it starts with an ill-fated matador facing off against an ushi >does the red cape effect ushi or is it just tradition? >maybe the eyepatch will mess with her depth perception and she'll mis- nope, nevermind he's getting passionately cratered into the dirt >this repeats a couple times with several would-be matadors and similar results before they move on to the next act >it's another 1 on 1, this time with an ushi dressed up in a cowboy hat, short, tightly fit leather shirt with the little tassels hanging off the bottom of her chest and daisy dukes (somehow) and a guy >this one is more of a performance, with a narrative and everything >mostly it's her doing lasso tricks while the guy is evading and running away while saying he's afraid of spiders >he hides in a barrel, she lassoes it and rips it off (no bottom to it, i guess?) >he hides behind a rock, she heaves it out of the ground and out of the way >he hides in a barn and she pulls it to pieces around him >there's a big reveal; he wasn't afraid of spiders all along, he was afraid of intimacy and rejection (many such cases) >the audience d'aws as they embrace >a fancy looking ushi in a top hat announces the final act the "running of the ushis" >the streets have been cleared in preparation but any somehow still remaining single men are encouraged to walk, run for the exits or remain in their seats as the ushi swarm descends upon them i love cultural exchange
>>117033 this hebi looks like she's actually an automaton who has been sent back in time to stop a future resistance leader from ever being a threat
>>117041 This spider festival is infested with USHIS! yay!
>>117043 >The spider festival is infested with spiders On the level of "shark infested waters".
>>117044 I object to the use of the word infest with regards to sharks. sharks are a boon and a blessing upon any water they swim into.
>>117044 Ushis are sliiiiiightly separate from spooders. Because cow. And fewer legs. And because I love them more.
did you know that cows rape more people each year than sharks? this is because they are much harder to rotate.
>>117045 >I object to the use of the word infest with regards to sharks. That's what i'm saying.
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>>116998 >Knock knock <Who's there? >Maya <Maya who? >Maya ha, Maya ha ha~
Wish my bed was infested with a shark ngl.
>>117052 is linen good for shork skin?
>>117055 Good question. Can't imagine having a skin that's sandpaper if you move in one direction. On par with a cactus alraune in terms of unpracticality, so maybe sharks wear tube bottoms that cover their skin very tightly, so that those don't move, and they don't destroy their furniture. The cloth would need to be double sided and elastic, to allow it getting caught on one side and still not breaking because it slides without issue. Then whenever they need to take it off they would just pull it down, and it will just slide. In general, us humans are lucky to not have any bits sticking out of our skin like horns.
>>117055 Monsters are hard on the linens in general. Arachne silk sheets are always in high demand.
>>117059 Just sleep nekkid under a heat lamp!
We were at the beach everyone had matching towels.
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>>117063 few spare a thought to the noble lobster
>>117065 Consider the Lobster?
>>117065 why is she red? did she get boiled?
>>117066 CONSIDER THE ROCK LOBSTER
>>117068 She had steamy hot sex with anon and then turned red from the heat under the blankets.
>>117065 this art is cancer lol
>>117074 Haha crab. Crabo. Haha. Snip snip. Lobster. Haha.
>>117065 I hope we get another crustacean one day, I would even take a barnacle girl
>>117073 Nah, they're definitely on to something. I'm pretty fucking autistic, and maybe thanks to that, I can see the specific pattern they're concerned about. I have my suspicion on who it is, but I'll leave it at that. Best to either drop it, or post in the meta if it still bothers you. >>117076 >I would even take a barnacle girl Charybdis weeps in a corner with the other forgotten mamano.
>>117077 Yeah but if you were a small galley like boat you wouldn't forget Charybdis.
meow
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>>117078 i'm going to be really dizzy and nauseous by the time i get to the bottom of the whirlpool
>>117077 >Charybdis Fuck, you right. They aren't listed as crustaceans so I didn't see them when I went to check if there are any other crustaceans apart from cancers. Hope we get a third crustacean.
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>>117079 Not now.
>>117082 cats live for inopportunity.
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>>117076 >>117081 I didn't even know they're crustaceans, what the hell.
>>117084 This creature had adapted to the oppressive darkness and solitude
>>117085 she'd make a good neet
>>117085 ms scylla crashes on her couch every so often
>>117087 who will get Anonsseus? or with that hussy nymph Calypso snap him up whilst their not looking?
>>117076 >I would even take a barnacle girl When people complain about there not being enough alp art, I'd like to remind them of the actual truly forgotten mamono, dying of loneliness under the pressure of an ocean of their own tears.
>>117089 Maybe I should write about her.
>>117090 You should draw her getting an education.
>>117091 she seems more like a teacher to me
>>117092 What is she teaching? Turbulent fluid dynamics?
>>117093 safe navigation of waterways
>>117094 So she has a PhD in Ocean currents?
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>>117091 Well I hope you're happy now :D
>>117097 Lmao perfect.
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>Ah! Looks like this is the reason your motion sensitive porch lights keep turning on.
>>117100 Cute, would share a cold one with
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>>117100 >find massive snake-skin left behind on your porch l-lewd
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"No Anon," the monstergirl said, "you are the spiders." And then Anon was a spider.
>>117103 maybe you should put the fear of spiders into her if you know what i mean
>>117102 If a lamia or apophis or other serpent mamono made a belt or pair of boots or something else out of her discarded skin and gave it to a potential suitor as a gift, would it be cute or creepy?
>>117105 getting fuzzy boots from a bunyip might be too much
>>117105 well you don't get to say no
>>117108 what are you supposed to do with the 8 bottles of assorted milk, jar of honey, basket of eggs(remember to check for fairy stowaways before you bring it in) and 3 containers of less identifiable fluids left on your doorstep each morning? it's nice the neighbors are so hospitable and all but it's a bit much
>>117105 I think it would be cute but i don't think it would be possible. To make leather, you'd need the full skin thickness, specifically you need the dermis. But the part reptiles shed is only the outer layer of the epidermis, which is brittle and not particularly good for making clothes.
>>117109 If it's not freshly squeezed in front of me for immediate consumption i don't want it.
>>117111 you're very particular about your eggs
>>117112 This kind of Anon explains why Monster Musume AND Interspecies Reviewers featured a scene of a harpy laying an egg.
>>117112 I need to be sure that it is ethically sourced.
SEX: THE SEXONING
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If you have too many eggs, feel free to share them with them.
>>117115 Finally, Sex 2. Hope the devs patched the refractory period bug.
>>117117 Well, let's just say there's still a lot of bugs.
Bratty younger monsters are too good at seduction
>>117048 The two-legged ones are actually much easier to rotate since they're top heavy and buoyancy can't compensate on land. The trick is that everyone tries to rotate them into their backs instead of their stomachs. Just trip her and mount her before she can stand. The cow can't rape you if you rape the cow.
>>117121 How to rotate brown cow?
>>117110 >brittle and not particularly good for making clothes. Ms. Lamia has been moisturizing heavily, with magical unguents. Any time the apothecary sells a jar of that stuff they know someone's going to get a very personal gift... In a few weeks.
>>117100 >lamia frozen in place with her hands over her eyes >weird reaction but she's kind of a weird looking snake >after an awkward moment she says something <"b-blindfold... please?"
>>117124 Did you know that Basilisks glow in the dark?
God, I want a wight sugarmommy so much.
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>>117126 Miss Wight would be a *fun* sugarmommy; she has a taste for the good life and would love to dote on you, but she's also down to earth enough that she would also love watching movies or cuddling with you or just having fun.
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>>117119 Hags don't even need to seduce me, just a glance to their voluptuous body and I'm done for
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>>117127 I know. You are preaching to the already converted.
>>117128 >torpedo tits Hags belong in that one ship gacha
>>117129 I figured, I just like to talk about how perfect Miss Wight is whenever I get the chance.
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>>117128 Not even naked body, properly dressed hags are fine too
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>>117131 Understandable.
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I want a lich sugar mommy. You just know she's gonna do a vacation with you that is ALL museums, ancient ruins, and important landmarks.
>>117132 There's nothing finer than a danuki hag or a dark mage hag or a wight hag wearing some nice duds that help accentuate every curve and contour of her voluptuous body.
>>117134 I'm going to drag her to an amusement park. We're going to go for n lots of rides to see what f I can make her react, but her face won't twitch until I give and ride the ferris wheel at the end of the night. Then we look into each other's eyes...
>>117136 But the ferris wheel is TALL! You'll be up high where it is scary and god might see you kiss a girl!
>>117136 <"I want to play House of the Dead." >"I'm surprised that have that. Isn't that, like, offensive to undead?" <"Isn't Time Crisis offensive to humans?" >"What? No, of course it isn't." <"Exactly."
>>117136 Imagine her reaction when you show her the wonders and horrors of carnival food.
>>117139 NTA, but nobody, not even the DEAD, can resist a good funnel cake.
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>>117132 I agree
>>117134 bit she'd be so kuu I'd fear I'm insulting her with my mere presence
>>117131 Talking about how perfect Wights are is a highly cultured past-time. Consider the not very humble loli Wight and how charming, cute and pretty she is. How it would be like having a storybook slow burn romance with her, doting on her, going on cute dates with her and fawning over her cuteness. She could be a diva sometimes, but on the other hand she would like showing off her nice dresses and lingerie sets, inviting you to pour even more lust into her sexy high class body.
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>>117143 I like to think a lich who really knows you lets her guard down a bit. Especially over dessert.
>>117140 They're delicious! Besides, if it all goes to her hips you'll just plap her harder, and if it clogs her arteries so what? She gonna die or something? >>117146 For kuu monsters, I always like to imagine that rather than being guarded or emotionless they're just not very expressive. She has lots of little tells, but only someone in tune with her picks up on them and notices their importance. Makes even her reactions like a little secret between the two of you.
>>117145 I wish Nav was able to draw like that again
I stole this griffon’s feather from her nest. It’s kinda cool I guess. Not sure if it was worth the climb. She looked cute sleeping, but also, my god, they are scary. So big. Such long legs and sharp claws. Such huge wings and hefty muscles. Glad I won’t see her again!
>>117147 >if it all goes to her hips Something just occurred to me; mamono mana almost certainly guarantees that any extra body fat mamono accumulate does just go to the hips (or chest, or rear, etc.); ergo, mamono can and will eat whatever the fuck they want and however much they want since they know that they'll just be getting bigger tits or a fatter ass out of it.
>>117151 https://mgewiki.moe/index.php/Griffon%27s_Feather_Pen now to mess around with jubjub feathers
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The Dragonian Tournament is soon, and your dragon wife nags you to death until you agree to participate in it. Your possible opponents are: A. A Dark Dragon with exceptional physical prowess, very fast, high physical & fire resistance. No other known weaknesses or strengths. B. Two dragon sisters, one blue & one red. The blue one is a very tall, very strong dragon that fights berserk style, she lashes at the target hard and fast and she cannot be stunned or brought out of action until she is completely defeated. The red one is a magician specializing in fire. She prefers to attack from range. C. A squad of lizard gunmen (or more correctly gunwomen). They can't fly but they have good aim, all armed with assault and sniper rifles. Your dragon wife has good def but, continuous fire will bring her down in several seconds. D. A malef. She's a weird character, she doesn't use any weapons or here black fire, but has strong status magic. Against your wife she'll only cause light debuffs, but if used on you, her magic might make you completely forget all about the combat and immediately submit to her will. She isn't particularly strong in physical combat (for a dragon) but she has 100% immunity to physical attacks. You have a bunch of tools & weapons to choose from but you cannot take more than three and you can have only one weapon. You cannot go into battle without a gun, either. * A .50cal anti-materiel rifle. Fires explosive rounds (Phys + Fire). Thanks to monster magic, it can bring down a dragon in one shot. * A mounted machinegun turret. Fires rifle rounds at a very high rate (like 1200 RPM). Does loads of damage but you can't move it once installed. Shoots bullets by default but if you have a magic crystal, you can infuse the ammunition so it would also deal the given element damage. * A power armor that grants you extremely high agility, speed, and evasion. You are faster than even dragons, but not stronger. * A homing missile launcher with magical charge. You can infuse it with any magic you possess. However, it's pretty slow so a dragon could dodge and outrun it in air. No default damage, it's useless without a magic crystal. * An ice magic crystal. Ice magic slows down targets and makes them less effective in combat. However, it's pretty weak (about 1/3 of the damage dealt physically) * A poison magic crystal. Nullifies any and all damage from the weapon that uses it but if it hits a target, it'll go down in 2 minutes or less guaranteed. * An earth magical crystal. Rather than doing something to the weapon, it instead protects the wielder, making them immune to all damage. Status effects don't count. * A lightning crystal. Requires a weapon that can penetrate thee dragon's skin as its magic would be otherwise reflected off the scales. * A life crystal. Enables the wielder to heal themselves and their ally. Cannot heal both at the same time. * An Energy Cannon. By default it won't do anything, it requires some sort of magic to be applied to it so it would become useful. Earth crystals make it do physical damage. Unlike the missile launcher it's a hitscan weapon, you can't dodge or outrun it if it hits you. * An Invisibility Cloak. Can conceal the wielder from the observers, but if the wielders makes one attack move, the invisibility magic will be rendered useless. * The Reflector. Nullifies all magic used against the wielder, status effects included. Does nothing against the physical damage. There are additional premises applying to the fight. * If your attack has more than one damage type (let's say physical and ice) and the target has resistance against either, both kinds of damage are affected by that resistance. * Your dragon wife is strong enough to last at least two minutes against any opponent. * If one contestant goes down, you both lose regardless of who was downed. * Your wife has innate fire magic. No crystals are needed. * Malef magic won't work on you unless you have direct eye contact. Your goal is to Win No Matter What. Loss is unacceptable. Yes you cannot lose to the hot malef even if that means a hot steamy femdom threesome. Now try to arrange this fight so you will win no matter what the opponent is.
>>117154 Oh, man, good luck to other Anons, but I'd never let another monster girl touch me once I'm married.
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Living the most wholesome life possible with my succ wife after the portals open.
>>117157 WHAR PANCAKE? WHAR?
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eros beach party
>>117164 Let me at that Apsara.
>>117051 I will turn my house into a Caramelldansen Rave with cheshire
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Maybe a bit of yan in the kot would be great
>>117124 >put on a blindfold >grope around for snek >find snek titty All according to keikaku
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I want to fall for it.
Happy 9/9, Anons. Keep your frogs safe.
>>117172 If there's fluff, it's a man's job to huff it.
>>117174 Kyu-kyu goes to kitsune?
>>117176 I'm even more confused.
>>117177 It's a mystery. Let he who has understanding calculate the name of the beast.
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>>117168 No, you will get full yan kot instead. No refunds.
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>>117180 If it can't be helped...
>>117181 >cheshire not so smug after rough assfucking
>>116301 I think by definition, mothmen, wonderworms, and nuras literally cannot have sex with you without constituting as rape due to manipulated consent but theoretically, if you had a chance, you could have agreed to have your consent manipulated, but these are debates for the eros sophists
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beware of cat
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>>117187 I want all the cats in my bed
if your thighs make a sound when you stalk about the master's house, you are certifiably unfeline and are instead some more horrible sex beast
never adopt stray cats or always adopt stray cats, depending on what you're into
>>117190 so cute, would
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>>117192 Impossible to take her seriously with such small paws and the heartshaped tails
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>>117190 I Google Translated that pic Had to zoom in to get readable text; she's perfect, that's exactly what I would like if a portal opens or I get isekaied.
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>>117195 >Nekomata secret techniques Pure rumor mongering and nonsense. Monster's don't have special attacks... right?
>>117196 I hope they do, we also have some
>>117197 >Anon's secret technique: Desperately pleading a monster to go on a date with him.
>>117154 It's an interesting concept, but there are a couple of things that are still not quite clear from the premise. 1. From the list, which ones are weapons, and which ones are tools. 1.1 Are the crystals able to be casted stand alone, or are they ammo for the other weapons. 2. Can you change your load out in between fights 3. What are my wife's capybilities (besides fire), and what are mine.
>>117198 Oh, I had more massage, scritches, or brushing techniques in mind
Griffons can fight off dragons. Kinda embarrassing for dragons. She’s just a big silly. And you lost to her.
>>117201 Why is it embarrassing for dragons that i lose to griffons?
>>117194 but you won't hear her coming. or cumming, inevitably
>>117203 Anons tend to make the mistake of attributing cuteness and harmlessness to features that are in reality, deadly and dangerous. To their detriment.
>>117154 >poison downs the opponent in 2 minute >wife lasts 2 minutes in combat dark dragon, energy cannon, poison, invisibility cloak >enter with invisibility cloak >give cannon to wife >she hitscan doom zaps em >looks like my wife wins a 1v1 brawl with a super dragon and gets all the glory i know the real reason she wanted to do this
>>117202 Because you didn’t lose to a dragon. And it’s also embarrassing for the dragon to lose to a griffon, because she’s a silly.
>>117174 9th of September is Cirno Day because of her association with number 9. She's known to freeze frogs for fun.
>>117209 >She's known to freeze frogs for fun. Psychopath behavior,
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>>117204 But she IS cute and harmless!
>>117164 Who's the artist?
>>117212 Make sure you look up the image in saucenao before asking that. x.com/Bell_orgel/status/2097271990151426052
>>117212 If only there was a [SauceNAO] link conveniently placed next to every image
>>117211 That's a cute cat
>>117215 >this Anon was later traumatized by discovering his cute cat is in fact a DRAGON.
>>117216 It's a depressing day; nothing can cheer me up
>>117154 Can you choose the opponent too, or are they randomized? In the former case it's gonna be easy: >Against the dark dragon, grab an earth amulet for yourself, then give your wife the energy cannon and either ice or poison crystal. Since she's a strict power fighter, she won't be able to harm you, and your wife would be able to gradually grind the strong dragon with ice shots. If there's no entropy and it's a simple turn-based game rather than a complex real-time action,, meaning your dragon doesn't waste time on aiming, there's no miss chance, and she starts shooting and hitting from the very first moment of the battle etc., then she can just doomshot the dragon with a poison cannon and it's a win. >Against the dragon sisters, it's gonna be invis cloak for you, then earth crystal and .50 cal for your wife. Assuming that they have no special resistances, you can just sit somewhere and wait while your wife downs them with two shots sine they can't hurt her and the only thing she needs to do is shoot until she hits both of them. >Against lizard gunners, again earth crystal for your wife and invisibility for yourself, except that you give her the machine gun turret. Since they don't have any declared resistances either, she'll mow them down in seconds with this high firerate and they won't be able to scratch her. >Malef seems to be actually the easiest since your wife has innate fire magic and she has no resistance to fire. You just grab the invis, give earth crystal and energy cannon to your wife, and she just spams the malef with fire magic until she goes down. Seems easy to me.
>>117196 >Monster's don't have special attacks Bullshit, every monster has a special attack. It's called a concealed Glock loaded with demon silver. In case of cat-based monsters it's also purring.
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>>117219 Are you seriously trying to tell me THIS lady has no secret attacks?
>>117220 This lady can just press her tits into me and I'll be hers in a second.
>>117221 Well, yeah. But what she doesn't have is a place to put a glock!
>>117222 She can hide a god damn machine gun in those massive wings of hers.
>>117223 If she did that her wings would be draped around her like a cloak. That hides her breasts and I think I'd be more afraid of boob damage than glock damage from her.
>>117224 Dude, she's a fucking DRAGON. If her sexy, toned body doesn't make you surrender willingly in an instant, then she can just grab you and haul you away. And then cowgirl you into submission. In her case the glock is more for you, a self-defence weapon against lesser pest mamono such as large rats or vampires, who'd want to try something with you while you're out there alone.
>>117225 >Miss Dragon catches Anon staring at her big wingspan and impressive dragon bewbs >Decides that's too much of a free show and he needs rape correction >Picks him up >He cuddles into her chest and calls her mommy >Goddamn it
>>117226 Well that means he's been insta-corrected, now it's time to assert her dominance over him like a proper dragon should. Meaning, passionate, cowgirl sex, followed by gentle aftercare.
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>>117220 secret technique: maid outfit
>>117227 Yeah, but she got all excited about the rape correction and now she's gotta skip to the mommy dom stuff which is more like 3rd date material. >>117229 You get it! Mamono ALWAYS have secret techniques and attacks.
>>117229 That's just being a sub, can't be a real secret tech
>>117230 >3rd date What the fuck is a date? Mamono grabs guy, mamono fucks guy, mamono makes him her one and only husband. "Dates" are just for insecure humans. >>117229 >dragon wife in maid outfit comes into your room while you're playing videogames >"dinner is ready Master~" >pulls you out of your chair, lays you on the bed and places her fat ass on your face >"today's menu is juicy dragon cake~ now eat up~"
>>117232 >"Dates" are just for insecure humans. You're so fucking wrong, is Eros a koke to you?
>>117232 >What the fuck is a date? It's a kind of fruit.
>>117234 going on a date with a date dryad
>>117235 Dateception
>>117220 High-power built-in flamethrower is not enough for you?
>>117238 >Holding your wife and pulling on the tail to unfreeeze the road
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>>117233 Eros? You mean the based lady that doesn't goof around? The one whose angels shoot the guys they love with pink mana bullets then claim them?
>>117240 >slender manti standing on your chest like a cat while milking your cock with the tail Manticores are truly the ultimate mamono, I keep discovering new positions you can do with them.
>>117240 The Goddess about love and romance, yes. If you think that there's only rape in MGE, you're blindsided, but I feel like you're a certain someone and that replying more is useless.
I would like to go on a date with a monster girl. Hell, I'd like to go on regular dates with one. Maybe get some coffee, or eat a food. Maybe walk in a park? Maybe just hang out at the mall while I explain what they used to be like 25+ years ago, then she talks about her world history, too. I dunno. Why would you NOT want to spend time with the woman you love doing things together and getting to know each other more?
>>117242 anons are unused to love and have a variety of reactions upon being exposed to it it's like the thing where you have to be careful about nutrition intake for someone who has been in starvation
>>117242 Anon, in MGE "rape" and "love and romance" go hand in hand. The hellhound that rapes you also loves you with all her guts. Eros might be leaning towards more traditional love, but if you read the cupid profile, you see they're not against a bit of force when they believe it's due.
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>>117229 Babayaga and this tyranny of horny maids are unstoppable!
In the grim darkness of post-portals world, there is only RAPE
>>117244 Maybe it had the contrary effect on me. I want the real stuff, not just rape and boom everything is said and done, but whatever, it's just personal preferences. >>117245 I know, but why rape if a date with a willing anon is possible? >Because he wants it Ok, what if he doesn't and wants the normal route with the possibility of rejection if it doesn't work out?
>>117247 That's right, RAPE. The ideal 4 topics on a 1st date: >Religion >Abortion >Politics >Economics
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>>117246 there's nothing to be do about it. alas
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>>117250 There's something that we can do: multiply the maids
The Order has a story of a beautiful and powerful angel falling to the forces of evil and committing unspeakable debauchery. It is used to illustrate how no one is immune to temptation and the power of vices. It is based on a real event. It was the Fallen God's doing. She convinced the angel through facts and logic that rape correction is better than smiting sinners and that by giving a man the "taste of heaven" (administered through an angel's holy pussy) virtue can be cultivated . Didn't even need to corrupt her directly she ended up doing it on her own.
>>117252 >Fallen God's doing. She convinced the angel through facts and logic Fallen Goddess confirmed as Abby Shapiro.
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>>117232 The more clever and tricky monsters understand the value of building romantic and sexual tension, of course you should go on some dates first.
THE HAT IS THE REAL DARK MAGE! THE BODY IS JUST A PUPPET! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!
>>117253 Dark Angel profile does actually state: >Whenever they find a human or angel with a negative opinion about sex, they seduce them with well-constructed arguments and finally give them pleasure.
>>117256 I came here to talk about large breasts, not encyclopedia entries!
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>>117255 You know too much.
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Going on silly dates with a monster and she's already pregnant with your child by the 3rd one
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>>117251 I hope you goys will raise your mini meidos well!
>>117260 I need a much more unhinged meido than this. Do you have anything non-Euclidean?
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>>117255 Just examine her very closely and hands-on, and you can confirm the body is in fact the real Dark Mage
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>>117260 >goys Is that a typo or... And yes, obviously, it's our most important duty as fathers. >>117261 Here
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>>117261 (user was cleaned for this post)
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>>117259 I like dates with good homemade food and tabletop games, the sex is only extra
>>117265 sex will be extra good, yes
>>117265 Don't need more to make a happy man
>>117265 Why hags always come in pairs or sometimes even more? Are they that fond of sharing?
>>117268 Are they hags? They looks like CC
>>117259 Damned Nukis are too fertile, now it's too late to back down
>>117269 CC is the larval state of a hag
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>>117271 That sounds wrong but I don't know enough about hags to dispute it.
>>117271 CCs are great, but when the pupa opens and a magnificent hags comes out of it is the best
>>117271 True but the larval state is superior to the end result :)
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>>117271 Auntie Abba talking during breakfast about how wonderful and energetic she was while she was still in larval state But telling her that to me she's even more wonderful now while we're having sex
>CCs and hags Both of them were already at peak performance long ago, as lolis.
>>117268 The more pairs of tits there are the easier it is to trap an anon.
>>117277 >Anon goes to aviary >Instaloss.jpeg
>>117210 Downright disrespectful if you ask me, frogs are lovely, polite girls if you ignore the whole tongue down your throat thing. >>117190 Why is that over the shoulder glance so alluring?
>>117279 >Why is that over the shoulder glance so alluring? Because it's extremely intimate, shy but also lustful
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>>117268 Prowling in packs is a proven and effective hunting strategy
>>117268 Hags aren't quite as fast and agile as their younger counterparts, due to their heavy curves weighing them down, so they adopt pack tactics in order to more easily outmaneuver and ambush potential mates.
>>117274 >but the larval state is superior to the end result Greenworm bait.
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>>117284 As Miyamoto Musashi said in The Five Rings of Power, >You must consider this
>>117279 >f you ignore the whole tongue down your throat thing. Hey, as long as they do it consentually, it's nothing but polite.
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>>117282 What's really terrifying is when the younger, more agile girls team up just for funsies and pursue an older, less agile male. We should all be concerned when monsters choose to collaborate when getting a male.
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>>117284 Greenworm's default state is softness, regardless of how big she gets.
>>117288 >softness Confirmed for having never handled a caterpillar, those things are all muscle and can crush a human hand or other predator like a straw
>>117289 Who let their Greenworm on the internet?
>>117259 This is fine, I bet trash pandas would make great mothers
>>117275 Men tend to say some crazy stuff during sex
>>117291 Note: this post refers to tanuki, not ren who work in the sanitation and waste disposal industry.
Wurmst’ve
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>>117295 I gotta say, these two make a very convincing sales pitch.
>>117296 they just asked you take take a loan 50 times your annual income with 80% APR using your bodily autonomy as collateral. how is this in any way a good deal?
>>117298 Yes please. Do it. Now. I wanna be owned.
>>117298 You weren't using that autonomy, let Big Bertha and her sister take care of you. You won't even have to wait on the broken anon lot, you're heading right into her office and under her desk!
>>117298 >Give my bodily autonomy to two juicy Racoom CCs >Get 100000k to spend in whatever i want >Basically, i'm being paid to become a loveslave I'd take that deal, it's a damn good deal.
>>117302 The best deal in the history of deals
>>117302 You could buy land with dat money! It's free real estate!
I want to get findommed by a loan shark.
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>>117305 >she's a literal shark
>>117306 GOOD. I need triangle teeth marks all over my body STAT.
>>117306 And she’s domming… with HER FINS.
Big Jinko from the nyankuza would never offer bad loans and they always have good and simple goon jobs for when I need money
What’s a loanshork gonna do? Pay me in teeth? Nibble aggresively if I don’t pay her back?
i kinda just let some tall blue skinned lady have my soul and i havent worried about money since.
gotta watch out for the lobster mob
>>117310 Worse! She stops giving shork nibbles as soon as you get behind on payments! Imagine the pain!
>>117305 I want to be finndommed by a Finnish wight or finnish ojou-sama dark mage.
>>117313 NTA but that's fucked up, sea gang doesn't joke around
>>117314 I can see the appeal, but why Finnish, specifically?
>>117311 Letting her have your firstborn child is a small price to pay for that. In fact, you should MAKE her have your second born, too! And your third!
>>117317 its much more generous than the mofukuza is about those kind of contracts...
>>117318 The Mofuza actually isn't that bad so long as you keep making monthly sperm deposits to show you're trying to make good on your agreement. The trick is that foxes have litters, and those girls are, collectively, counted only as your firstborn. Good news is, fox loans are always on an extended repayment contract.
>>117313 Nooooooooooo. I need shork bites to live!
>>117295 Impregnating your twin auntsters at the same time and becoming co-mothers of your children
>>117316 It is reference to Luvia from Nasuverse. She is Finnish and an ojousama.
>>117321 >impregnating your twin auntster during your usual Friday threesomes >they both give birth to twins >happy accident but I bet it's a silly coincidence >they get pregnant again >they give birth to triplets this time I don't think my finances can deal with this
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>>117238 That's not a secret. A secret attack would be her practicing other types of elemental magic because she knew you would stack fire resistance.
>>117322 Ah, I gotcha.
Garglegoyle Lmao.
>>117324 >Anon's face when the dragon hits his +10 fire resist armor with a pink flame (armor resists don't apply to Eros magic, BTW. It's not even technically an attack). This game is broken in the best possible way. Fortunately, Anon is still well equipped to make her heart pupil when she's more willing to mess around.
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>>116979 >>116980 Snownubis can't fit a date into her schedule, Winterstown would fall into utter ruin and cold without her guidance, or so she says Snownubi would need to buy a contemporary winter outfit to wear, pick a coffee shop, case the coffee shop the day before for staff, menu items, prices, seating locations, ask the Ice Queen for fairer weather that day, fit a coffee date into her bureaucratic schedule in the morning, and account for time to change clothes before an appearance before the royal Winterstown court in the afternoon
>>117323 Don't worry, the monster government subsidizes such families that give such wonderful attempts to fight back against the birthrate declines with juicy economic benefits, so families keep pumping those blood related babies
Haghounds don’t know how to rape. They forgot, cause they single and never raped. You can absolutely rest assured that a haghound won’t rape you.
>>117329 So that's a rejection, feels bad.
>>117331 Don't BS me, we all know about those Jane Wanda tapes every hag hound watches, all clad in spandex and leg warmers. They may not have raped yet, but they're staying prepared.
>>117329 Snownubis is just like every girl I ask out, they're "too busy"
>>117333 Relax. She’s a noob at rape!
>he fell for the “monsters are all technically noobs at sex argument” >he lost the debate >at the monster debate society >he got raped orally >he got orally raped >by monster arguments
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>>117336 Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking
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The "form a party and go on adventures" is far simplier than rape or dating
>>117324 >that moment when you realize dragons are actually extremely intelligent and can easily learn combat magic if they can be bothered to
>>117338 But I must be raped. By my adventuring party. Bunch of snakes.
>dragons >intelligent Name 5 great dragon thinkers.
>>117341 Philosowurm Aki Mizuyama the Orb Ponderer Ellandallender the Wise Maleficent The One Who Writes the Lyrics For Spontaneous Combustion But Chooses to Remain Anonymous Out of Humility
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Love ain't free. The tree of romance gotta be litterd with the cum of lovers. Druella aka "Whore of Lescatie" is not my leader, she is extremist and probably bisexual as well :DD. Consent and pure love, not rape and pelvis breaking ok. Praise eros.
>>117341 Quetzalcoal, the mother of civilization, goddess of life, fertility, knowledge and wisdom
>>117343 Baise, would join her militia
>>117343 You can tell how much time a cupid has spent in virginity by how edgy her manifestos get.
>>117343 >and probably bisexual as well Way to alienate the harem audience.
>>117344 Testing my auntie Lucoa's claims of fertility
>>117343 She joined special forces, and after that her ideas, her methods, became... unsound. Your mission is to locate the colonel and terminate her command.
>>117349 Sounds like an invite to join her
>>117336 >“monsters are all technically noobs at sex argument” Technically not wrong, they just have op stats
>>117351 I wonder what it's like to have genetic fuck memory?
>>117352 It's not genetic, it's magical fuck memory.
>>117353 It's both
They might have magic sex knowledge, but that doesn't guarantee that they're prepared for what actually doing it feels like
>Fairy boxer >She tries to speedbag your balls >As a joke oh no! my beautiful testicular!
>>117342 Philosowurm… The glomper of nerdcows.
>>117357 Philosowurm sounds cute. Would study underneath her.
>>117355 A lot of the time it does make sense that they themselves would also be overwhelmed by what they're doing for the first time despite the fact that they just kinda know how to do it. >TFW no monster wife who mindbreaks herself on your dick while mindbreaking you in her pussy
>>117358 She is in need of a man to ponder.
>>117340 If you get raped by a party of snakes thats on you. Snakes are enemy-coded you should have heeded the red flags before going on an adventure with them.
>>117358 >Would study underneath her. Good luck, her study tunnels are as deep as her thoughts. Deeper, actually. Much deeper. Getting beneath her to study will be difficult is what I'm saying. >>117361 She's just a little purple, not evil. I can fix her.
>>117359 >monster spends weeks or months seducing her target >"yes, perfect, soon he can't resist me" >instantly loses to cock when he fucks her
>>117361 They just kept following me and I couldn't shake them off so I thought I might as well treat them as my party.
>>117362 She’s purple. She’s evil. She’s pevil.
Give me a valkyrie in Eros colors. Let her realize that there IS a god suggesting that she slobber all over heroes knob with three fingers inside of herself, just not the god she thought. Give her a moemoekyun beam. >>117363 Hey, that's mission accomplished, she's gotta get on the cock before she can lose to it. And Anon is still technically unable to resist her...
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>>117268 you live a long time and you meet a few people plus they play bridge and bingo together
>>117367 All the hags belong to bowling teams and play together on Friday nights.
I want to ask Roko the Basilisk out on a date but I heard she's shy.
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>>117369 'Lisky business
>>117367 I want to play classic D&D with them, costumes and all
>>117372 >Dare you enter my magical realm?


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