Tailpussy better not disappoint when the portals open. That shit better seal airtight and suck my dick like a vacuum until my balls are literally empty.

when your pursuer-type enemy is ms giant slug

>>125702 I don't even care about that. She is a KOT. I lose to kots. Always.

>>125704 it is an unfavorable matchup to be fair

>>125705 If I had a kot wife I would demand kot daughters and also a kot-kot who is just an adopted shelter kot who I would name Kot and I would pet her and love her and hold her and brush her kot fur.

Your auntster wants to crash into your house despite not being Friday, would you allow her to stay just to hand around?

beware walking alone at night, witches can and will perform snatch and grabs on magic brooms

>>125707 I dunno, she seems a little batty.

When your pursuer-type enemy is Miss Wight: > Been trapped in this manor for the past day or so, even since that one lich clonked you over the head with a wooden mallet and brought you here > Been exploring the manor, have over a dozen keys, three different kinds of jewels, and a lampshade; you don't know why, but you're pretty sure that you need them all to-- > "Darling, there you are!" > Oh Jesus fuck gotta run > Miss Wight has once again found you rummaging through her manor, and once again takes pursuit of you, her claws out and a triumphant smirk on her face > Walks just a tad slower than you, but never stops walking at that speed, while you inevitably tire out > Every time you trip or stumble, she comes within just a few feet of grabbing you, but never quite > Keep getting away, but it's never long before she finds you again > Not sure if you actually got away or if she let you get away > You're pretty sure that she's fucking with you

>>125708 I love blue skin girls even if they are rotting away a little

When your pursuer-type enemy is Miss Ushi

>>125710 they really paid attention to the sound design on the klacks

>>125713 And the ojou-sama laughter

>>125713 They're EXTREMELY important to the gameplay experience.

>>125715 >Anon the architect >Explains carefully to Miss Wight that her mansion needs a couple of large rooms with metal floors >"What? No! That's stupid!" >Anon makes her listen to a phantom's audio mockup of the sound her heels will make in such a room >In the end, Miss Wight suggests making metallic walls, too >Another satisfied customer

>>125716 It's lucky for Anon that Miss Wight didn't know that the right illusion magic would make her normal floors sound that like and would cost a fraction of the cost

>>125716 marble's better, probably

>>125717 >would cost a fraction of the cost You don't understand. When you have fuck you money, part of society is showing that you're rich. She chose the most expensive option on purpose, and also because you can see up her dress when the floors are well polished (always).

>>125707 Of course she's always welcome to stay, she even has a copy of my house keys

>>125719 No, I get the logic, it's just that I don't see how even by that reasoning it makes any sense to replace marble or hardwood floors with ugly metal.

>>125721 The floor is almost as expensive as her underwear. Almost.

>>125721 She finally got pissed with anon always making jokes about her marblin' on his hardwood.

Mountain Dewrara

>>125721 Making a brass-plated floor means the color of the brass pairs well with the red velvet, warm lighting and dark wood siding and molding compared to marble which would heavily clash due to its bright white coloring. She's going for a neo Victorian aesthetic, not a Greek revivalist one.

When your pursuer-type enemy is Miss Sandworm

What if I am the pursuer?

>>125729 Then get ready to cum inside a lot

>>125730 That's what my auntster usually says every weekend

Pursuer Jinko is broken

What the fuck is a pursuer. I need a monster that sits around and does nothing but still manages to capture and rape me. She should also be green and have pyramid teeth.

>>125729 >b-back that ass up!

>>125734 most horror games have a large entity chase your around and kill you if your too solw think mr x or nemisis in the resident evil games, or pyramid head in silent hill

>>125736 Could it be a BEEG claustro using the anthropomorphis spell that is pissed her hubby got out from the plant. Maybe her bratty remarks and smug giggling is a warning she is getting closer.

>>125703 There's an invincible slug slowly crawling towards you. Where you are, it will always know and slowly approach. If he slug ever catches you, it will rape you. That is all.

>>125738 the slug*

>>125731 this nuki looks like she runs a fortune telling scam

>>125740 Your palm lines say you are a gullible fool and need a smart danuki to look after your finances.

>>125738 SHE'S HEADED RIGHT FOR US!

>>125740 Looks also like an arab merchant

Danuki bailiff pursuer

>>125731 >>125740 >>125743 She looks like a wife and is wearing an outfit 100% composed of waifu material. I want her to do Tik Tok dances badly and then complain about her hips and back while demanding SEXO with her every movement.

From: Anubis Civil Service Commander Anon, Good, you opened this message. This isn't Anubis Civil Service. Reply to this post or you'll get Cheshire ass on your face when you go to sleep tonight

>>125729 It's no coincidence some of the best girls are the ones that are so precious anons relentlessly pursue them instead. It's an amazing strategy Remember anons, if you spot one of these precious mgs running around, drop everything and pursue her! Get that once-in-a-lifetime catch before someone else does!

>>125746 I hope you meant AND. If not, by replying I’ve been robbed of my dream to have chesh butt on my face.

>>125746 Oh no, quick I'm must answer Can I get the ass on my lap instead, I will pet the chesh in exchange, xoxo anon

Reading comprehension is not strong with these ones.

>>125746 Better reply to this since I'm allergic to cats.

>>125750 Listen pal I don’t know much about this fancy “reading” of yours but if I don’t wake up to sweaty chesh ass on my face tomorrow I’m gonna freak out!

It is a known fact that reading is for faggots.

>>125752 Would you sign a contract for Chesh ass? Might be good to read it beforehand.

>>125754 Life is about give and take. Sometimes you must trust others. Even chesh. Especially chesh. Bring forth the contract so I can sign it without delay. For chesh ass, no cost is too great.

>>125754 I would not sign a contract for Chesh ass. The part of Cheshy I desire most is her heart.

>>125750 I want the cat.

>>125756 She needs that to circulate blood. You can have a kidney. Or an appendix.

The Anubis Civil Service would send a facts on their facts machine, not post on the World Wide Web.

>>125759 For fax sake

For fox's sake

>>125758 No, I mean I want her love. Not a physical organ. I was being metaphorical.

>>125759 Bruh, the Anubis Civil Service would be writing on clay tablets and in cuneiform if they could get away with it; they've come a long way if they're willing and able to use a fax machine.

>>125721 It's not a replacement, more of an extension. I swear, every time I walk through the corridors of the mansion, it's like the rooms have all been shuffled, so in theory adding a few more to the draft pool should be simple.

>>125761 Sake on the fox?

>>125756 Sad kot is an abomination, deliver her a husband asap.

Little Fox > big Fox

>>125767 No!

Any fox > No fox.

>>125767 That applies to pretty much all monsters

>>125769 I foxless world doesn't sound so bad

>>125767 Only if you can't handle the big ones. >>125768

>>125771 We're living in one.

Miss anubis should we cover the pyramid in a smooth white limestone?

>>125774 The pyramid must be covered in purple sneks! SNEKS! SNEKS! SNEKS! SNEKS! SNEKS! SNEKS! SNEKS! SNEKS! SNEKS! SNEKS!

>>125775 Does the graped anubis build pyramids?

>>125761 Haha I get it, it's Wakamozake!

>>125776 Purple ones, yeah.

I want to be a grape victim.

Turn the pyramid into one giant heater and then grow the Apophis to a huge size so she spends all her time coiled around it. Give her an anon to keep her company.

Scifi anubis who makes every building a dome instead of a pyramid

What do anubi think of Mesoamerican pyramids?

>>125782 7/10 better than ziggurats

>>125769 it do be like that

>>125780 >Apophis-Sandworm hybrid V. Scary

>>125784 I want to put more of my kits in that mommy fox.

>>125774 >We must hollow out the pyramid to make space for car parking! We should also flatten the outside liek a ziggurat, for MORE CAR PARKING! JUST ONE MORE LANE OF HIGHWAY AND WE WILL SOLVE TRAFFIC!!! and then the Anubis woke up from her bad dream and decided to stop playing the new capitalist management videogame and stick to the classic Rollercoaster Tycoon instead

>>125786 dangerously fertile monsters really speak to the primordial parts of my brain

>>125788 so nanoka?

Imagine a Phantom as a horror movie host, like Elvira or Svengoolie. Think she'd appreciate pre-portal cheesy B movies, or would her show only have post-portal "horror" movies that usually end in romance/smut?

>Be you, man with parasite slime wife >The weather is warm, clothing g has gotten light, and you've developed a bit of a "secret stash" as you and the missus like to call it >It's time >Time to find some nice human women to throw your daughters at >Leaving them in a chest to be found by some rando just feels cruel, you see.

>>125787 >no Dutch Anubis who makes RCT videos on montube

>>125788 Giving hyperfertility potions and flooding the world with smug, teleporting memekots.

>>125793 In a last ditch effort to avert the memekot abduction crisis, the Order has made it compulsory for all men to carry a full spray bottle at all times.

>>125791 >it's too early for my daughters to date says man with 300 parasite slime globlets in his house

>>125794 I will simply carry a full spray bottle of liquid catnip

>>125796 i'm starting to think this class that taught me self-defense against monsters by making them too horny to function might have been bullshit

>>125797 I just to be raped by a floaty purple cat. Always Be Prepared!

>a condom? >you must be having a bubble bath with a giraffe! >that's about as much use as a chocolate teapot >About as useful as a candyfloss doorknocker >Like tits on a nun >Or a one legged man in an arse kicking competition >You total fucking pudding >You doughnut >You banana >You absolute melt

I have a simple dream. I want to genetically engineer the ultimate lifeform using Tentacles as basis and then get affectionately, cheerfully but mercilessly raped by my innocent artificial daughter whom I am utterly powerless to stop because she is far too strong and effectively invincible.

>>125800 containment breaches are one of the most romantic scenarios

>>125801 This is why I keep inviting cute spooders to my home.

What's an acceptable level gap between you and your arch nemesis?

>>125804 As wide as possible because she level drained you and is now making you cum with the slightest touch.

>>125804 being a hero wasn't as hard as they say it is

The imp needed those levels more than me anyway

>>125806 Anon’s pelvis is in danger.

>>125804 I read that as "an acceptable level gape"

>>125809 That gape is lame

>>125809 No you didn't, you just wanted to bring that stupid shit up again for no reason

>>125809 >If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you

>>125807 you can always donate extra levels to the church of the fallen god

>>125809 1/10 gape, see me after class

>>125811 You don’t want to gape your fox alp Auntster?

>>125813 It’s going to some godless imp. Someone with no discipline and is a complete smug brat. Religion might make her disciplined and strive for more. I could be convinced by a beeg church gargoyle however.

>>125816 some such cases

>>125817 >garg smoking and looking down at you Maybe church is for me after all…

>>125818 it has its perks

I love my large statue wife. 10ft gargoyle, and would have been taller had I bought more stone.

This random kot just showed up in my home and the size of her biceps are making me too scared to ask her to leave. Is this how the cat distribution system works?

>>125822 You're lucky, I'm jealous

Can I get a gargoyle cat? Perhaps an egyptian sphinx one.

Caught a jiangshi

>>125825 The realm, having long been divided, had to unite. The realm, having long been united, had to divide. Such is the wisdom of the hanging Jiangshi

>>125825 I envy those with balls big enough to wear this kind of merch in public

>>125827 There was a guy who started university with me who had an Asuka dangling from his backpack. I knew we would never be friends and so I judged his shit taste in Rei-like silence.

>>125828 Misato > Ritsuko >>>>>>> Rei >> Asuka

>>125829 Shinji's mom has got it going on.

>>125830 Is she a living armor or an automaton?

Kuudere master race

>>125832 Sahuagwinning

>>125832 Is that supposed to be the gameboard for SORRY?

>>125831 Definitely a living armor. Very little of her is actually mechanical.

>>125834 No clue!

>>125835 Yeah, that’s how I see it, too. Now we just wait for portals and for huge titty angels to show up in search of Adam. Kaworu is an alp.

>>125800 Isn't that just normal sex with a normal tentacle? >>125813 Why are monsters in vaguely religious clothing so good? >>125830 It's true; I dig giant robots. We dig giant robots. CHICKS dig giant robots. Shinji's mom just can't be beat.

>>125834 Maybe it's trinkets she has collected from the swamp in hopes of buying anon's virginity.

>>125834 money can be exchanged for good and services

>>125840 wap your wad on the countah

>>125774 In the event of a freak desert snowstorm, the pyramid would be well hidden

>>125844 wasn't that what the pyramids were supposed to look like before time wore it away? or did i make that up

>>125845 That's supposedly what they looked like before the literal and figurative sands of time wore them down to what we see now, yeah

>>125788 I AM NOT paying the child support for rape babies

>>125846 it'd be fun if it was like roman statues where instead of austere simplicity they were gaudy, gauche, painted and perfumed so that way there'd be a bedazzled pyramid with a gyaru pharaoh and anubis blasting shitty music over the nearby sands

>>125847 you dont even have a job in the game all you gotta do is make sure kids are fed and watered

>>125848 And now I'm picturing a bedazzled volcano lived in by a perfectly average (read: very gyaru) balrog and her friends.

>>125850 they had to do a couple renovations after they purchased it from the previous owner

>>125848 Make sure the pyramid has a McDonald's for the kids, they require happy meals

>>125834 It's hard to play video games underwater, so board games are the next best thing.

Waterpolo is popular

>>125854 watermamano just be saying anything to get you in the water do not trust them

Pool's closed due to rape

>>125855 >watermamano just be saying anything to get you in the water No need, I was already looking into swimming lessons.

>>125855 But she said she has cookies. I NEED to know how underwater cookies work. I could hardly say no to an eel, shark, or nereid wife anyway.

Reminder that kelpie may be full of deep fried mars bars and heroin but she can still chase you down on land if you don't get in the water.

>>125859 my instinct to get away from centaurs or bicorns is to climb a tree but the centaur's got a bow and the bicorn has an array of dark magicks so i don't think it'll work very well

i need a drinking buddy

>>125860 >Dreamhorse just starts playing lullabies while you try to stay awake >Unicorn (PIC RELATED)

>>125862 unicorn will start reading love sonnets or poetry or something pale rider will start chopping

>>125863 Look, I love the crying unicorn pic. It is MAJESTIC and needs to be seen.

>>125863 Pale Rider isn't even a centaur, so she doesn't have this problem. Even if she was, she could just do her thing to make you fall down into her arms.

>>125865 the horse is a part of her isn't it? she's sort of part horse part girl. or is it arbitrary in the sense that a pale rider manifests a vehicle in a shape she's familiar with, so in a modern context a pale rider would have a gooey motocycle underneath them?

>>125866 >Pale Rider gets cease and desist from Miss Deem on behalf of Miss Shog and her Shogcycle.

>>125867 i guess she can use a velocipede if the oomukades will abide it

>>125868 I love non-standard mounts >Pale Rider on a majestic riding kot >She is TOXOPLASMOSIS >Fear her!

>>125866 >The "horse" is a part of her, in that it is made from her mana. In the pale rider's design, green represents disease energy, and you can see this green in the horse's tongue and extending back within it as pattern. This green energy is the horse's main body. The horse moves as she wills it, spreading disease with its breath and tongue and when it licks something the pale rider feels the sensation and being a part of her the horse is very attached to her husband and will often lick him. The horse has the ability to instantly transform into pure miasma and back into a horse

>>125870 so she could cosplay a centaur if she felt like it

>>125870 >horse is very attached to her husband and will often lick him Dealbreaker for me. I don't care if it's actually a magical apparition that's part of her. A horse licking me will feel weird. Centaurs are okay because they have a human head and body.

>>125872 What if a Centaur licked you?

>>125873 that's probably how unicorns check if you're a virgin or not

>>125874 What if Anon is a SLUT?

>>125875 ms unicorn carries pickled ginger to cleanse her palate

>>125873 Centaurs enjoy licking their sweaty husbands because of the salt.

>>125876 >pickled ginger >Miss Unicorn licks Anon >He tastes terrible due to being a SLUT >She has to lick a drunk redhead to cleanse her palette

>>125877 >>125870 And I enjoy licking the pale riders pink pits because they are salty and delicious.

anon, the horse is here

>>125862 Dreamhorse could just ask me to come down, honestly. A whitehorn could too, especially if she had hot chocolate.

>>125880 well? let her in!

>>125882 I don't know if I can. She might need to come in through the garage... after I move the car.

>>125883 >help me steppe-anon i'm stuck it's weird how that keeps happening to your steppe-sister centaurs

When the portals open, what part of our world would you think certain monsters would flock to? I'd imagine that two to three years after the portals, the female population of Mackinac Island would be entirely centaurs.

>>125884 and here i thought the steppe centaurs were supposed to be small... regardless, i would much rather have a destrier honse

>>125885 >Wisconsin overrun by Large Mice

>>125885 america because its not urbanite shit, its mostly empty with plains, forests, mountains and rocky deserts

Imagine, if you will, a bicorn. Now imagine her eating a sugar cube from your hand and then licking your face

>>125884 I keep telling them to git gud at polymorph but they keep whinnying something about "four legs good, two legs bad." It kind of hurts my feelings. >>125889 Adorable. I hope one of my wives recorded that.

>>125885 we can't stop here, this is cow country

>>125891 what bessy gonna do?

>>125840 Business idea: sell your virginity to the dungeon merchant in order to afford the good gear, use the gear to get fat sacks of dungeon gold, bring the gold back to the merchant and purchase sex from her.

>>125893 Dungeons are scary for maybe 2 generations MAX. >Generation 1: Miss Echidna's TERRIFYING DUNGEON OF DEATH >Generation 2: Mrs. Snek-Snek's TERRIFYING DUNGEON OF DEATH (marry my daughterus) >Generation 3+: The Snek-Snek Family's Old-Fashioned Dungeon Delve Experience (tourist trap)

>>125891 >wisconsin falls to the cows a mere day after the portals open

>>125895 I'm adding to the list of overlords I welcome.

>>125895 I hope it's spider cows. I need a spider cow wife.

>>125897 Those are more of an Aussie thing, given Australia was known for ranching, and now known for giant spiders. The Ushi-Oni will drink VB, wear a cork hat and enjoy a nice sausage sizzle with her mate who's also her mate (you)

>>125898 omg aussie accented spooder

>>125898 >>125899 Aussie-Oni

>>125900 Ushi-Aussie Ushi-Aussie oi oi oi!

I gotta ask, What happens if they run out of men? Like actual human men in their world since they can only give birth to monster girls. Are they just going to round up human couples like cattle and have them spawn more humans to make more men for an ever growing amount of monsters, or are they going to invade other dimensions to steal the male populace of those worlds. Also! Dragon boobies are unsurpassed.

>>125902 it's just a thing that won't happen, so you don't need to worry about it

>>125902 I'm pretty sure KC or one of the world guides said that once there's enough monstergirls (including women that have been monsterized ), the mamano mana or something like that becomes strong enough to allow monstergirls to birth human men, or incubi, which are literally just the same thing as human men.

>>125902 The possibility of having a baby boy is extremely small but not 0, so the solution is just keep giving birth until a baby boy pops out, and keep making babies with that boy until another boy pops out and so on

>>125905 Is there a solution that doesn't involve incest?

>>125906 Oddly, no

>>125902 I didn't read what you wrote because smug dragons with huge boobs are amazing

>>125906 >Is there a solution that doesn't involve incest? Anon, you're not being very open minded or considerate of the countless mamono that are still single. You should be ashamed for such frivolity, what would your sister-wives say if they read that. Some mamono don't like sharing their husband with other skanks that they don't know very well, why should they wait a century to be with a man, when their brothers/nephews are close by and they have a much better understanding of them than anyone else. Plus, they usually get them while they are still virgins, so it makes marriage all the more special.

>>125909 It's not fair, this Anon's hoggin' all the Cheshires

>>125906 Not a good one, it's all in the numbers, just imagine all the sisters getting pregnant one after another after one baby boy is achieved until he's able to father another baby boy with his sisters, or with so many sister he could score more than one and so on It's all mathematics, if you don't believe in incest as a solution then at least believe in math

>>125910 Don't feel bad, we don't get to choose the love we want and I'm sure there are plenty of spiders and ookumades that could just eat you up!

>>125906 How can you say that you love your momster or your sisters if you don't allow them something as simple as giving birth to your babies?

>>125912 Yellow Anon needs cuddles badly

Hebi time Fun time

>>125915 >local man goes on vacation with his stalker of many years >"the kids wanted to see the sea" he is quoted as saying

>>125915 >Go to the sea >Use a pool

I support my local paw enforcement.

>>125917 It's safer for the kids

>>125918 Why are catfights so common in MGC's PAW forces?

>>125917 There are sea bishop out in the ocean, you really think it's safe to go out there?

>>125921 t.

>>125922 the shog werecat is very cute

>>125902 human cloning

>>125920 Dogfights aren't viable mostly for economic reasons.

>>125902 >Are they just going to round up human couples like cattle and have them spawn more humans to make more men for an ever growing amount of monsters I know this was answered handwaved already by KC, but harpies in MGQ had a cool idea with simply accepting human women as co-wives to give birth to males. I don't see how the same couldn't be adapted in MGE.

>>125902 It's a fake problem pushed by people who want to make MGE a grimdark dystopie. As stated by KC it's a matter of time before the demon lord gain enough power and mamaonos can birth men

>>125925 Fair, also this a magnificient jinko

>>125924 they would make a service of artificial anon generation so momsters could be surrogates for the pregnancy rather than a tube for their incest fetish

>>125917 Cause the hebi wife makes sure that no sea WHORES would lay a finger on him

Unfortunately, today is cancelled. Go home. Go back to bed. Let your yeti wife cuddle you.

>>125934 I didn't know i had a yeti wife.

>>125935 Stop questioning things.

>>125936 You're asking for the impossible. Sooner would the entirety of the ice kingdom melt than i would stop asking questions.

>>125938 Then you will be sent an interesting and moderately intelligent yeti.

>>125939 >moderately intelligent yeti. Rude. Are you perhaps saying yeti intelligence is subpar?

>>125940 She's moderately intelligent for a yeti, which is still intelligent for a human.

>>125911 Pregnant monsters are a thing of pure joyous beauty. Post pregnant monsters.

>>125942 This is what peak woman performance looks like

Need some dedicated facesitting paraphernalia, magic of monsters. Some spell or cushion or technique or girl specifically catering to pussy on my face. Get off your ass sabbath.

>>125944 >Get off your ass sabbath and get that ass on my face

Anon is a typical, down-on-her-luck millennial: mid-thirties, over-educated and drowning in debt, on the verge of moving into his parents' basement. When a lifeline appears in the form of a very unconventional job in neighboring Cambric Creek, he has no choice but to grab at it with both hands. Morning Glory Farm offers full-time hours, full benefits, and generous pay with no experience needed . . . there's only one catch. The clientele is Grade A certified prime beef, with the womanly, meaty endowments to match. Hands-on work with minotaurs isn't something Anon ever considered as a career option, but he's determined to turn the opportunity into a reversal of fortune. When a stern, deep-voiced client begins to specially request him for her sessions at the farm, maintaining his professionalism and keeping her out of his dreams is easier said than done. Anon is resolved to make a dent in his student loans and afford name-brand orange juice, and a one-sided crush on an out-of-his-league minotaur is not a part of his plan—unless his feelings aren't so one-sided after all.

>>125936 Does that Yeti wear a kimono and smoke a pipe?

>>125947 >down-on-her-luck millennial You missed a pronoun swap. Weirdly the first one.

>>125949 oops

>>125949 It's somewhat awkwardly written. "womanly, meaty endowments to match", is not how i'd describe a monstergirl. You can tell what the original purpose was, regardless of typo.

>>125952 >womanly, meaty endowments to match >is not how i'd describe a monstergirl Look at those meaty paws

>>125952 I might say my wife has "meaty endowments" but only to annoy her. I think I would do a lot of things to annoy my wife, because it is my love language.

>>125953 The pharma lobbyists don't want you to know this, but big paw on face is actually a natural cure for most psychological issues with zero side effects. Also there is some evidence that it's probably non-addictive when done correctly.

>>125955 The side effects are bean on face. Very dangerous status to be inflicted.

I hear that hellhound beans are particularly dangerous.

>cold >lying on couch with hellhound >huge blanket over us >big fluffy arm over my shoulder >cuddling me nice and tight against her >I hold her other paw between my hands >hands plural >because her paw is so big and meaty it must be held in two hands >fidget with her beans >poke them >pinch them >draw little circles on them >idle bliss >every slow breath incensed with hellhound fluff and pheromones >hound smell good >beans feel good >life is good

>>125958 Hellhounds are literally built for lazy couch snuggles.

>>125959 I am a good boy and I get couch snuggles. My wife, Mrs hound, is very soft. Sometimes she licks my face a whole bunch too.

>>125960 Hellhounds now have a giant quest marker pointing at you. Hope that post was worth it. Good luck.

>>125948 She wears a heavy winter kimono adorned with a snowflake pattern that barely contains her Yeti breasts Her pipe smells of rich vanilla and tobacco, smoking mellows her out and makes her more horny for cuddling sessions, she will get pawsy with you

Saw a picture of a skinny guy with his very physically fit girlfriend who's significantly taller than hime and it's just captioned "2 years with no fights. I love my man." Now I want to lose weight so I can have that dynamic with my jinko wife when the portals open.

>>125934 Wildcard, cuddle her first

>>125961 it's hard to find quest postings at the adventurers guild that aren't just veiled or less-than-veiled dating requests or romantic rendezvous

>>125965 No, I am sure the “clean these cobwebs!” Job is legit.

>>125965 I got the "explore the mighty Tiger Temple to get the legendary polearm." They're real quests. You just have to look harder. The only downside is that a Jinko companion is required to enter.

>>125969 Why would I go anywhere without a Jinko companion?

>>125970 That's a good question, I will ask it to my jinko companion

>>125965 >Explore the Abandoned Graveyard (Solo) >Quest reward: Legendary Collar I have a good feeling about this one, I even brought a healing potion to be sure.

Miss Wight could casually walk past me and I'd cum just from the combination of her natural perfect hip sway, the clacks of her heels and 100/10 looks.

>>125970 Jinko companions are great until they go into heat on you. Then you have to spend a sleepless night holding your breath and staying silent as she is growling and panting in her tent loud enough to wake the whole forest.

>>125954 >When Anon has cuteness aggression and his wife is really cute >>125961 It's that easy? I probably have a few markers pointing at me, then. >>125974 Your companion is in pain. Won't you go to her aid? I would. It would be poor etiquette not to, and surely such a noble creature deserves that much.

How can a horc, ogre or other barbaric savage monster make a living in civilized society?

>>125976 Bouncers, movers, pro-wrestlers etc.

>>125977 They call her a bouncer because she's got bouncy boobs. Also because anon "bounces" to the curb when she launches him with a hipcheck.

>>125976 Florists.

>>125976 Barbarian hordes are for invading the houses of pale, anxious nerds.

>>125980 And doing what? Eating their snacks? Leaving dirty dishes out? Playing their video games and beating their high scores? Leaving crude messages on the bathroom walls? Making the toilet uninhabitable? Leaving their gym clothes and underwear strewn across his bedroom? Begging for help with homework? Putting the nerd in a headlock? Making the nerd to sniff their sweaty athletic bodies? Raping the nerd? Starting a family with the nerd?

>>125975 I would be using my wife’s beans as a phone dialer pad I would give unprovoked ear scritches I would bongo butt so hard I get the butt bongo police called on me I would buy her the wrong potato chips like all dressed when she wants plain or smooth if she wants rippled I would be, in short, a MENACE.

>>125965 It's still a major step-up from the old days before the guild. Back then, you either had to go to the nearest tavern and make a gamble that you'd find a quest-giver of some sort and hope that it was in any way legit or else go out into the field by yourself and whatever buddies you had in hopes of finding an adventure by accident; either way, you'd be lucky to go a single night without being husband-ed up by a mamono or two. At least with this modern way there's at least some chance you'll get a legit quest and you have at least some way to confirm whether a quest-giver is the real deal or not.

Beans on toast? No, take your paw off my toast, you can make your own.

>>125982 >dial number on wife's beans >hold beans against your ear >"hello?"

Yeti baps her paws against your head and asks "what are you"

I require cow juice

>>125985 I would literally never get tired of that. I might even mix it up and do the rotary phone gestures and noises!

>>125985 >"Hold on. I know the password." >*poke beans in sequence* >"Alright. I'm in."

>>125990 >poke beans <ACCESS DENIED >fetch daughter >bring daughter to paw <ACCESS GRANTED

>>125989 The fairy is the more vicious rapist of these two.

>Anon wearing a collar >His pixie wife sitting on his shoulder, twirling a comically small set of keys

>>125902 That never happens since KC has introduced the possibility for MGs to give birth to human men. In fact, when it happens the monsters will have all their cravings satisfied and there will be no more sweet rape play utopia where you can hope to get the mg you desire within reasonable efforts.

>>125973 I love corpses

>>125996 >pretends to be suffering from recurring rigor mortis to get her husband to feel her up My kind of girl.

>budding mage gets raped raising the dead >budding mage gets raped again summoning a low level imp >budding mage gets raped a third time summoning a high level demon >his power grows stronger >his pelvis heals stronger every time it's broken

>>125998 >budding mage is getting "raped" on purpose

>>125999 Some say it's the most effective way to study.

>>125999 Why bother being careful with wards and containment spells when anon's plan was always to have sex with his summons anyway?

>>126001 >Set up powerful containment spell that your summoned demon, imp or hellhound cannot possibly breach >summon the imp, demon or hellhound >perhaps even all 3 >it was at this point anon realised he was on the wrong side of the containment spell >don't worry >the mana generated from a good 2 weeks of continuous fucking will, eventually, overwhelm the ward

When you accumulate advanced arcane knowledge and essence, eventually become a powerful wizard, and the first thing that happens afterwards is this dragon girl is claiming you just because she has a gun.

>>126004 You gotta shoot yourself with demon silver bullets first to build up tolerance.

>>126004 powerful wizards are nerds and therefore are hellhound jock and balrog gyaru property

>>126006 Correct and true.

>>126004 >he didn't multi-class into a gunner wizard Why would you NOT want cursed homing bullets?

>>126008 Even if I multiclass into a gunner wizard I'm still letting the hot dragon girl claim me.

>>126009 wouldn't it be simpler to book a Dragonia tour and simply not refuse the tour guide's clumsy advances?

Sweaty wyvern/dragon jocks are also acceptable for bullying the nerd wizard anon.

>>126010 It would but arcane power will come in handy for me. Also it would be even simpler to try to break through the Dragonian border and get caught by like 5 border guards who are all sexy dragon girls with big guns.

>>126011 wizards riding dragons would make for terrifying long range magic artillery units

>>126012 Send him to the interrogation room. The cramped, hot, stuffy interrogation room. With room for like... anon and 3 dragons, but put all 5 in there.

>>126013 >attaching 12 guided missiles and two 30mm cannons to your dragon wife's wings

Undead version of monster > normal version of monster

>>126016 Undead horcs? Undead grems?

>>126004 >"All that and you still lost to a dragon with a gun?" >"It was a big gun."

>>126018 >what do you mean lost, she came up to me and I just let her sex me.

>>126019 The oldest trick in the book.

>>126016 I miss Ragnarok online and farming the Orc undead from the Orc dungeon, I would make that dungeon my own harem

>wizard anon y mous, surrender to the dragonian armed forces! <you can suck my dick, baby >your surrender is accepted~

You also have to have your levels investigated at the portal border. You need to declare undrained levels at customs. Those levels should go to a monster.

>>126004 I cast self destruction

Huge. Wurm. Spell resistances.

>>125974 What? You don't sex your jinko when she's in heat? Companions needs to help each other, she will give you a helping paw later

>>126026 Wurms are only affected by spells they can pronounce.

>>126025 >raped by Monster TSA Good job.

>>126018 >"Lost? She's gravid with my second child and I got to multiclass into dragon knight. My dragon even has a gun, every magazine is like casting Meteor Storm. Who can tell me that's not winning?"

>>126029 TSA? Can't rape a pile of ash anyway

>wah wah I'd rather kill myself than sex monsters I swear if it's the usual idiot whining about femdom, I'm going to send his dossier over to HOUNDED.com

>>126031 I've got a Phoenix can tell you different

>>126034 That pile of ash got better.

>>126033 Hounded.com Woof.org Chewtoy.moe Beans.pw

Xofes

>>126037 I want to impregnate a hag fox so bad

I am fucking dogs

>>126033 That's counterproductive

Fir me it's Raccoons

>>126034 >Or a lich, or a ghost, or a wisp, or... Anything that doesn't send the soul in the next life or in the void is not enough.

>>126039 Canadian detected

>>126037 How do I find a non-hag fox in my age range? She doesn't have to actaully be my age, she could have nine tails as long as she looks and mostly acts like a woman around my age would.

>>126043 I didn't realise maplehound was so large

Can an undead Incubus get sick? Are lamenting mushroom rare?

>>126044 >mostly acts >Ancient fox hag badly pretending to be around 25 to 35 years old >whenever anon brings anything recent up, she just smiles and nods REALLY hoping he doesn't ask her any questions. >Is constantly looking for any trends or news that she's not aware of, but only does so through newspapers(an incredibly new invention, for her at least), usually woman magazines and the sort. >Does not own a computer or smartphone, and instead casts an illusion of a phone whenever she thinks someone would use it, which leads to awkward situations when she uses it wrong or at the wrong times. >Had to prepare a highly complex scheme so that anon casts a spell of telecomunication whenever he tries to call her. Had to go to kunoichi academy to furtively steal his phone and somehow enchant it so that whenever he thinks of talking to her it casts a spell. Does also lead to very interesting situations, as the spell just links her regardless of if he actually has the intention of calling her, so he thinks his phone is defective and somehow constantly tries to call her on accident. >Somehow that is still fooling anon.

>>126044 At your local Inari shrine, you can choose based on all kind of preferences Maid academy are also an option but they have less choice and you must be into maids

>>126044 Just leave some fried tofu around a shrine and pray you get lucky.

>malef sister literally considers herself superior life form compared to you, humans in general and other monsters (just like her mom) since malefs are genetically predisposed to having big ego and an overlord complex >malef sister also simultaneously considers YOU to be superior to other humans and if she thinks somebody mistreats you acts like it is a personal slight to her

>>126048 >Maid academy Whatever you do, don't go dumpster diving at their discount bin

I'm gonna sniff miss kitsune's seat when she gets up. The fuck is she gonna do about that.

>>126051 But the rejected maids are the best? Especially the ones with low self esteem.

>>126037 What's a xof? A fox that isn't evil? >>126048 >you must be into maids There are people who aren't? >>126051 Really undermining your point here.

>>126050 So the worst of both world

>>126055 >There are people who aren't? Yes, some people want to serve instead of being served

>>126055 >Really undermining your point here. That's a defective fox maid, do you want someone who is both horny and retarded at your home?

>>126058 NTA but she's not retarded and even it she was, you can fix that by hiring a good maid

>>126053 I especially like the one white lamia maid with messy hair and a love for knives (she must be good at cooking). She even (enthusiastically) asked me to marry her as soon as I got close to her. Why would anyone possibly reject her?

>>126055 >What's a xof? Organization led by a Phantom in a suit and a cowboy hat. >>126057 Exactly, being appreciated by a graceful mistress is fulfilling.

>>126058 >do you want someone who is both horny and retarded at your home? Yeah?

>>126058 >do you want someone who is both horny and retarded at your home? I already live here, bro.

>>126044 Hags trying to act young and trendy are the best

A shame you never see gyarus trying to hagmax, going to bingo, knitting

>>126064 Hags dressing like younger women is a fetish I discovered recently, and I wish there were a tag specifically for it. I saw a few pictures of the older hag-like pokemon characters wearing the outfits of the younger female characters, and it drove me wild. Just imagine a hag balrog with the typical hag body squeezed into the outfit in her profile pic or some other gyaru outfit.

>>126064 She IS young for an immortal fire demon. Age is relative.

>>126067 >Age is relative. Hag propaganda.

>>126068 What he means is that age is subject to relativity. Time slows down around massive bodies, which is how wock stays so young.

If you were sealed away for then thousand years, that shoud not count against your age. If she has only spent 24 years on the material plane then that's how old she is.

>>126066 A hag cupid in her old uniform would be quite a sight to see. > Stockings are skin tight around her ample thighs, shorts are just barely fitting over her fat ass, belt is holding together only by Eros' love > Her enormous breasts are just barely held inside her shirt-bra thing, each breath threatens to make the buttons fly off like shuriken > Cupid hag is trying to look as formal as possible, but is blushing like crazy

>>126069 > Cheshire spreads this rumor to members of Hagville, knows it's bullshit but thinks it's funny > Word spreads like crazy, hags everywhere suddenly try to emulate Miss Wock's diet > Average hag weight goes up fifty pounds

>>126073 She is doing the lord’s work

>>126072 I wish we had more art of hags trying to fit in their old uniforms

Just because a monster is on the heavier side doesn't mean she's a hag. She could just be a young fat nerd.

>>126072 Her old uniform might not fit like it used to but the younger cupids still stand at attention when they see the number of medals on it.

>>126064 I wish we had more doujinshi about this with meaty hags, the ones we have are always lolibabas

>>126078 The medals are probably the only thing keeping her decent at this point, tbh.

>>126064 >>126079 I want to see a meaty hag trying to be trendy and actually succeeding.

>>126081 Meaty hags win all day erry day It's just facts

>>126081 Seeing as hags are older and almost certainly loaded, I could see the residents of Hagville running advertisement campaigns and other propaganda to make the (meaty) hag look more popular. Get clothing stores and advertising campaigns to have more hag models, have movies and tv and other media have more hag waifus, that sort of thing.

>>126074 Meanwhile, Miss Wock is just happy that the number of jokes about her weight have gone down so much.

>>126083 >Current bullshit forced advertising meta goes from "big is beautiful" to "old is beautiful" Do not want.

big is beautiful.

Brat is beautiful

>>126086 What type of big are we talking about?

>>126087 Why can't brat be big?

>>126088 Tall and heavy/broad mostly. Be that muscular or be that thick. She needs height and she needs heft. On the other end of the spectrum, shortstacks are also fine by me. Big tits and/or big hips but not tall.

>>126084 Miss Wock and Miss Chesh BEST FRIENDS Cheshy always has her back

Large Cheshires are also fine. It’s a quirk or glitch in wonderland. Sometimes the chesh teleports and she’s half her height. Sometimes twice thrice or more. It’s a rare sight. Celebrate the occurrence with a commemorative photograph with the large Cheshire.

>>126089 >ogre whose father is the son of a wight >he inherited the money so he spoiled his daughter >she's now an 8ft spoiled rich brat

>>126092 Does this quirk ever result in a cubby or outright fat? Cuz I want a really thick Cheshire to bully me and smother me with her fat catbutt.

automatons so big that their designers had to give them tank tracks instead of legs

>>126085 Well, more like "big and old is beautiful."

>>126093 She should be more considerate. Anon is smaller, poorer and dumber (lie).

>>126094 Yeah, sometimes it’s x dimension instead of y. Also she sometimes can fuck with gravity so no matter how hard you struggle you can’t push the catbutt off your face and must embrace it.

>>126088 I love muscle on women. They wouldn't need to go aggressive on me because I'd do whatever a big muscle monster lady told me to do.

Gym Minotaur would be the end of me. Cuddly. Kind. Could flatten you into a pancake. When hungry will sometimes just drift off as you are talking, snap back to attention and then poke your cheek mid sentence giggling “hehe cute”.

>>126086 I agree.

>>126101 Damn, didn't expect to see such a heckwan with tail this big.

>>126102 It’s gluttony. The tail of gluttony. Anon don’t be tempted by the tail of gluttony.

>>126103 I'm more tempted by the chest of gluttony.

I must rape.

Don't panic, you're not about to have a boss fight. Blasting a hole in the ceiling is just how miss dragon likes to enter a room.

>>126104 It's a very tempting chest. But if you stick your head in there you may never come out.

You know, it's really easy to avoid being raped by monster girls if you just take a big stick. Even if they try to go after you there's nothing they could do: Try to take the stick? >whack Break the stick? >whack Use the stick as a lewd gesture for your penis? >double whack I'm just not sure why anyone really would struggle against them, it's really just a genius move.

>>126108 >Stick bug girls see it as an advertisement

>>126108 >Anon is mobbed by hellhounds, kobolds, anubis and a kiki for the stick

>>126104 The chest of gluttony is impressive beyond belief, but I want to know if the ass of gluttony and tummy of gluttony are similarly impressive. Like, it would look really weird if she didn't have at least something of a gut.

>>126101 I noticed the burger and that tail before the boobs.

>>126110 TRIPLE whack for being a weird icky bug! >>126111 That's why you keep a throwing stick along with your fighting stick, you might need to scavenge more throwing sticks along your way but you can occasionally trick a canine monster if you fake a throw and move on quick enough.

>>126111 You should always carry at least two squeaky tennis balls to accompany your big stick.

>>126116 I would fashion them into a cock-and-balls and attract a Cheshire with my stupid squeaky penis.

>>126115 Ms. Whitehorn's cousin from Frostbite would appreciate a salt lick gift.

>>126016 >>126115 I think a snowy Necropolis would be utterly terrifying. Imagine being a lone adventurer or scavenger taking a moment to wade through what looks like an abandoned town blanketed with snow only to see a deathly pale Whitehorn barely even needing to wear her coat. Then once she calls out to you all of a sudden the entire town starts pulling themselves out of the snow or from dilapidated houses, especially if this was at the start of the whole monsters changing into women thing.

>>126119 Throw an undead white cat in there and I can die happy. Honestly I'd probably die happy regardless but that would be so excellent.

>>126119 Consider the following: Wight Ice Queen

>>126121 Consider the following: Anubis Mayor who builds a giant pyramid of ice

>>126121 >Almost zero actual differences except the shade of her ice >>126122 We don't need to talk about Ms. Anubis and the Pharaoh in Wintertown, anon.

>>126117 <Oi, squeaky bollocks! <This madlad has squeaky bullocks! <Kin I give 'em a squeeze, gov?

>>126123 What's the point of living in a town of eternal winter if there is no terrifying ice pyramid that looms over the town?

>>126125 Because you could have something like a huge wizard tower! Or a foreboding pit on the edge of town nobody goes to and warns visitors of! Or a scary forest nobody ventures into at night! or uh, or just a bunch of cottages and places of business like bars...

>>126127 Sure, sure, but those aren't tourist attractions! A giant, terrifying pyramid of ice is what put places like Shelbyville on the map!

>>126128 But it's gaudy, and it doesn't fit! Who thinks of pyramids when it comes to snowy landscapes?! That's just an Anubis stealing prime real estate because tundras are basically snow deserts!

>>126129 I bet next you're going to say that her Ice Trains idea is bad, too. You just hate joy.

Legend has it that if you go into the Anubis bureaucratic offices within the palace’s administrative quarter, you will be picked up by a large Anubis guard and then bubblesorted into the lap of a compatible Anubis.

>>126130 Of course it's a bad idea! Nobody wants an Ice Train, their butts will be cold and their clothes will get wet and gross! Regular trains are good, they're warm inside and they have nice space to cuddle on them! Her ideas suck!

>>126132 I want you to know that Miss Icenubis has the saddest, flattest expression possible, and her ears are totally horizontal with sorrow.

What kind of tourist attractions does Hagville have?

>>126133 I had a Whitehorn camp outside my home one winter for three weeks. Your Icenubis won't break down my walls one bit!

>>126135 It'd take me like 5 minutes to invite her in for hot cocoa. I don't have milk, though....

>>126136 You're the kind of guy that'd invite a Vampire in, aren't ya?

>>126137 If she looked cold or sad, then, yeah, probably.

>>126138 Anon they're Undead, they don't feel anything you fool!

>>126137 >>126138 Does that one rule even apply to MGE vampires? I know that sunlight and garlic still affect them, but I don't think there's anything about them having to ask permission to enter homes.

>>126140 nuh uh, I know this trick! those dumb corpses think I'm a fool but I've seen them before! they have hollow minds and black hearts and I won't be fooled! >>126141 Nah, nothing officially. But it would be probably something they'd do for a laugh.

>>126141 It's not said anywhere MGE vampires need to ask for permission, but it also isn't said that they don't work like other vampires in that regard, so it comes down to headcanon. It's more fun to imagine they do, so I go with that, and I would fall for a vampire making puppy eyes at me.

>>126143 >Vampire eventually giving up and opening her robes to show she's wearing nothing underneath as it starts to become dawn >Demands you tell your kids NOTHING about that and how she cleverly tricked you into letting her into your home >they find out anyways

>>126141 nah, but its just good manners to not enter without permission, vampries are not some debased creature to enter peoples homes whenever

>>126143 Can't say that I disagree with that logic. I'd like to imagine that the rule applies, not because of some sort of supernatural rule or nothing, but because they're immensely socially awkward and are terrified of coming across as gauche or uncouth.

>>126115 wighthorn

>>126141 >>126142 Some vampires might definitely enjoy scaring the shit out of someone who thought not inviting her inside would protect them (and deliberately playing into it a little to let them believe it). I don't remember if vampires in MGE have any specific ability to morph or transform into something else or become intangible but at least teleportation is a thing in MGE so it would be perfect prank to suddenly teleport inside the house behind the person.

>>126148 >suddenly teleport inside the house behind the person. <"Nothin' personal, Anon." lel

>>126137 many an anon has had his kindness preyed upon when he sees a bat with a busted wing on his doorstep

>>126149 Miss Dhampir has been letting her borrow her anime dvds, I see.

>>126141 It does. Any MGE vampire trying to enter my home without my permission gets a sweet dose of burning napalm right into her fucking face. >>126121 Would be really cool if she won't inherit the ice cold demeanor of regular ice queens.

>>126151 That's what big sisters are for, honestly.

>>126148 Gotta see that look on her face when I suddenly pull out a flamethrower.

>>126153 Or cousin. Or aunt. Or daughter. Whole lotta different ways Damp and Vamp could be related.

>stupid vampire cunt trying to teleport into my house >she doesn't know jack about the 15 dhampirs cohabitating with me

>>126143 it's simply more fun for vampires to have numerous weaknesses to go along with their numerous strengths and it's surely only a coincidence several of these weaknesses align with autism symptoms

>>126157 She doesn't HAVE to count all that rice you spilled. She just felt like it, is all.

>>126130 Land trains aren't even real trains! Everyone knows that! It shouldn't be allowed to call them that, ice, sand or otherwise!

>>126130 Ass train? Might not be a very bad idea...

>>126155 Young Vampire who looks up to her cool Dhampir aunt and wants to be like her.

>>126150 >"Lady, I watched you land, I know you're fine." <*Sad squeaking* >"Ugh..." >>126161 Perfect way to get a vampire who isn't a cunt before you incubize. Dhampirs are a gift that just keep giving.

>>126157 A little girl told me that vampires are weak to mating press and anal, so if I see one I should go on the offensive if I plan on surviving