viewer beware; you're in for a scare

Have you ever seen Hagville on Halloween? Absolute fucking madness. Countless hags of every kind of mamono partying in the streets, all drunk off their asses, wearing the skimpiest costumes you can imagine and hoping for a man to keep them warm. A man can't go twenty feet down the street without being buried underneath a small mountain of huge tits and fat asses.

What kind of a gun would be the best for a Dark Mage?

>>127932 One of them little ones a lady can keep in her purse. Of course a dark mage just stores it in her cleavage.

>>127932 if you want to be a hack you could pick a bayonetta loadout

>>127932 .50 AE derringer, bonus points for something other than the usual realm silver bullets. Alternatively, a squirt gun that shoots some kind of shrinking or incapacitating potion. A witch with real magic at her disposal should be able to turn the tables pretty easily.

>>127931 Sounds terrible. Where exactly is Hagville so that I can make sure to never go there?

I’ll get you pharaoh, next time. Next time!

>>127936 Go into MGC and follow the smell of whiskey, fresh baked goods, and sweat; you'll be there in no time.

>>127938 Gosh, I hope it's not cinnamon rolls or carrot cake. I would be TOTALLY VULNERABLE to any woman offering me such things.

Finally back at home after a brutal 12 hour shift, now it's time to chill and relax with my auntster and let her wash away all that stress and tiredness with her skillful methods or at least dream about it

>>127939 Both are Hagville specialties, unfortunately for you. On the plus side, you're going to get plenty of chances to sample either.

>>127931 I want to go trick or treating in Hagville

>>127942 hope you like werthers originals

>>127943 >Even Hagville isn't lame enough for Tootsie Rolls Monsters really do make everything better.

>>127943 NTA, but I love Werther's Originals.

>>127943 But everyone loves werthers originals.

>>127932 the gatling wand

I will simply avoid the dangers of Halloween by going to bed early

If only they were a kot to enjoy saturday with

happy halloween

I would put my ween in her hallow, if you know what i mean.

>>127956 How did she even piss on the test

>>127958 I miss the good old times where you just went into the forest and got raped by semi-feral beast women, now you have to open a fucking wiki to look up obscure achievements and unlocks

>>127959 >He needs a wiki. Skill issue.

>>127960 NTA, but Ushis are a rare spawn and I don't want to get raped by anything less than a cowspider.

>You have been detained. >Await your sentence at the end of Time.

>>127962 Oh, no! My tains! I need them back, you ghosty bitch!

I love jiangshi

Sexy monster armpits.

>>127958 I can't marry a robutt it'll make me look like a loser weirdo creep

>>127960 No, I need a kiki.

>>127968 >125 can you even remember 125 names? can you even remember 125 people?

>>127969 Humans can typically remember and care about around 200 other people at a time.

Kiki but casual clothes and not maiding.

>>127971 DO NOT LOOK, MASTAH!

Kiki at the door turning away all the sabbath trick or treaters

>>127962 >But she knew - that the strange crustaceans that scrambled her atoms and imprisoned her here, in a place unknown - were panicking. Something had gone wrong, in a world where variables were not allowed. >Something was leaking. >They may have finally imprisoned something that could not be contained.

>>127975 I just want to cuddle her so much.

Miss Lich has been hitting the sweets hard lately, god damn.

>>127977 So fat

>>127977 it's part of her new experiment, she wants to know how soft is too soft, and what the effects of softness on cuddling and other activities are.

What can you expect if the 'tank' of a monster girl party takes interest in you?

>>127980 Obviously you become the party's mana tank. Though mana faucet would be a more accurate term.

>>127980 A crushed pelvis, most likely. Lucky for you, that means that the healer of the group is going to get to fix you up.

>>127982 >"So you tank the physical damage and I tank the magical damage?" >... meanwhile the magic dps, with her lewd spells, is nodding enthusiastically

>>127980 I figured she'd be damage. I guess she is big and protective.

>>127965 Jiangshi (fluffy)

>>127980 Darkness from konosuba but mamono

>>127983 >DPS makes lewd aggressive advances >Tank feels need to protect anon from advances (somehow this involves crushing his pelvis with sex) >Healer recovers injuries with more sex and kissing >Anon now fit and ready for DPS to make more lewd aggressive advances It's party synergy.

>>127988 This works best if all party members are sneks

I want to be part of an all dark mage party. A little unbalanced, but they have enough firepower to crush anything in our way and the sex is gonna be fucking great.

>>127988 This works best if all party members are onis/ogres

>>127992 It's all ogre?

>>127993 Well, it could be an ogre and an oni and a bogie. It could also be 3+ ogres. Poor anon. Every town he goes to he and his pelvis get sympathetic looks from the monsters.

>>127995 >Blue Oni cosplays as Dr. Unicorn >Performs HEAL on Anon's pelvis >Then SMASH >Then HEAL >Then SMASH >Then HEAL >Then SMASH...

>>127965 Huge stiff boobs

>>127996 >Anon getting the RGB (Red, green, blue) rape from dps red oni, tank ogre and healer blue oni >Red Oni used tit job! >Ogre used tit job! >Blue oni used draining kiss!

Deredere Ogre would be really cute.

We back.

>>128001 We black

>>128002 Why dog shiny tattoo?

>>127998 Well, you did miss a couple of Oni types. One in particular makes me sad by her absence.

>>128004 Indeed, Bogey is too often overlooked in parties.

>>128002 That's gray, we can go darker. Leave her in the sun for a few hours or something.

>>128005 We could compromise...?

>>128007 That takes too long. I'mma paint her.

Arachnophobia time

>>128004 She's more than welcome to come. I love big monsters!

costumes people, costumes! what has your waifu/captor/superior officer/oc dressed as this year? I've comm'd one of my ocs in the martyr outfit from beyond citadel since I've been burning through my oddly large collection of dystopian games.

>>128009 Body painting monsters sounds like a fun time.

it's not safe to go out at night

>>128028 I am worried about Miss Balrog's pooper getting injured by the pumpkin stem.

It's getting cold out. Do you think monster wives would find it weird or wholesome if you wanted to make yourself a nice scarf out of their excess fur/feathers ect?

>>128030 Wholesome and LEWD.

>>128029 Be more worried about the pumpkin bursting into flames. Especially the stem.

>>128046 Roast pumpkin sounds tasty, though. Little parm, little garlic?

>>128055 i could see that being a dullahan family recipe

>>128030 Whitehorn wife watching you intently from an uncomfortable distance as you put on a scarf made from her fur

I take my women like I take my laptops--with aluminum frames.

Spooky Koturday.

>>128065 I had no idea the marshmallow kot queen was so large

>>128028 I know, I'll better stay inside with my auntie

sure would be nice to rail a familiar

>>128056 Is it weird if I see a pic of a Dullahan with a jack o'lantern on their head stump as a costume and start thinking to myself "Damn that's hot, I wish the pumpkin was her actual head"? I blame Kanna from Blaster Master for getting me into object-headed women.

>>128068 Same, I'll better stay inside my auntie

>>127959 >now you have to open a fucking *Kiki Wide open for Mashtah

>>128078 Nah, the fucking ones are too loud. Give me a prim and proper Kiki that I can molest while she tries to not make a sound.

>>128078 She wants to be fed?

>>128086 There a certain allure to a kuudere prim and proper maid that holds her voice back and just makes quiet gasps when master molests her

No freeloader horny birddogs at my home, only good meidos get the loads.

I can already tell that undead pregnancies skyrocketed

meow

https://www.stephenmorrisauthor.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/balrog-013.jpg >the neighbors' kid decided to go trick or treating dressed as herself

I really could use an emotional support mindflayer right now.

I hope I am not too late for a spooky story! >Miss Hellhound has this boy she likes >He is cute, and smol, and helps at his dad's butcher shop so he always smells good >BUT >He is very lonely >Every time she goes to rape him, his gentle eyes and sadness causes her to simply snuggle with him >No rape >No sex You are literally scared to death now. You are dead. Stop breathing.

>>128159 Personally I wouldn't mind an emotional support dog right now, life has been pretty rough lately

>>128161 With my last breath, I pray for hound kisses

>>128056 >a dullahan family recipe Undead cuisine sounds real interesting; consdering that the people making it are immortal and have shit-tons of time to practice, you'd probabaly see really interesting recipes develop. I suddenly wonder what recipes a cookbook would have if all its recipes came from different kinds of undead.

>>128162 Same

For me it's emotional support cat

Monsters get really insulted whenever i say "I think...". What's up with that?

>>128167 You are not allowed to think, now keep thrusting.

>>128166 That's a sexual support cat

Emotional support Zombies are the best, they're free and way easier to get and they are very easy and cheap to maintain

>>128167 you are supposed to say "we think" because you share a braincell.

my emotional support wives are a mino (cheerful) and an ogre (grumpy) so I am never too far in either direction. I'm also never more than 5 minutes away from milk, uppies or a shattered pelvis.

Did a chunk of the thread disappear during the downtime? >>128028 >huge Balrog ass.png I need a pear shaped Balrog loli

I signed up to be an emotional support human because it seemed like easy money. My blood feels like it's mostly venom now but she's not depressed anymore so I think that means I did good.

>>128169 >>128166 its a sexual assault cat with emotional support capabilities

>>128175 >sexually assaulted >by a cat I'd like to see THAT happen. I'd LOVE to see that happen. Seriously, prove me wrong!

>>128176 couldnt be me

>>128177 >raped >by an 154cm cat I'd like to see THAT happen.

>>128178 spoiler alert: she's the one getting brutally sodomized

>>128178 >quote from man raped by 154cm cat

>>128178 You should know by know that height disadvantage means nothing to the mamono.

>>128181 True.

>>128182 >Raped by a fairy? I'd like to see THAT

>>128183 >quote from man milked by a fairy

Heh, if the small monsters are so successful raping anons, then I’ll just try my luck at the tall ones!

>>128185 are you implying that tallmos are less successful rapist or do you just want to mog the mamolets?

>>128185 >is he gonna make it, Dr Corn? <I don’t know. I’ve never seen a pelvis shattered into this many pieces.

>>128188 10 hours earlier...

>>128187 I’ll take two of these foxes at least this big. I need them for protection. See I’m very small and a large monster could take advantage of me and even rape me. Thats why I need two. In case one is incapacitated or betrays me. I also need them to be my bed.

>>128185 >if the small monsters are so successful raping anons They don't need to when their mere presence makes anons want to jump them instead, how can big monsters compete?

>They can break my pelvis but they can never break my spirit! >AAAAAAAAA MY SPIRIT!

>>128187 sometimes big mamano worry about hurting anon and are overly delicate, gentle and submissive

>>128191 Well what if I want these 3 to dom me? Checkmate sabbath.

>>128194 Then you're going to get dominated by 3 slutty brats who taunt you for being a pervert that likes getting bullied by kids

>>128193 its hard to see them as submissive when you need to ask them to change position after failing to turn them over yourself.

>>128173 >Did a chunk of the thread disappear during the downtime? You didn't see anything, boyim

>>128173 https://8chan.moe/monster/res/216.html#q436 yeah. BO did mention it on the shelter thread

>>128196 She's going to be so frustrating when my grabbing time on her is: 60% ears 35% tails 5% other

>>128199 needs handholding correction...

>>128193 but only sometimes

>>128201 >"babe, is the thunderstorm really necessary?"

>>128201 >pathetic fallacy >erected phallusy

>>128201 i bet the reverse scale isn't even real

>>128205 oh ok

>>128202 <"The lightning stays ON during sex!"

>>128206 At least she's honest.

>>128207 being the village sacrifice is tough work...

>Giant anubis demanding you submit. >SUBMIT >SUBMIT (your paperwork)

I will be the yearly sacrifice to tallsville.

>>128209 OK, but it's worth it. This is NOT the way you want your local Ryu to feel. You're gonna have a bad harvest. Although if I had a Ryu I would constantly be harassing her to do thunderstorms and downpours. And I could see the village needing to have me removed due to being a bad influence.

>>128211 it isnt yearly if you never get to leave.

>>128213 b-big kitty.

>>128211 >the average train in Tallsville

>>128215 wrong. someone would already have reached out to grab him before the doors were even fully opened.

>>128213 FINALLY, an appropriately sized cat. I need to climb her and scritch her ears.

>>128215 >Can't move an inch without face being pressed into sweaty OL commuter/college student monster pussy or even getting head under skirt

>be white man >enter Zipangu with a big shotgun >break into a random inari shrine >want to rape the inari worshipped there and all her shrine maidens >the inari gets out there to meet you >pic related And then you still rape her, lol

>>128218 >one of them kneels down just a bit and puts you in a headlock between her thighs >feets no longer on the ground once she stands up >at least its soft enough to not crush your neck

>>128212 Like any other animal, dragons develop all sorts of problems if they never get a chance to exercise, which is why miss ryu sometimes flies out over an uninhabited patch of ocean to conjure up a storm that makes hurricanes on earth look like a summer breeze. If you're lucky she might let you ride on her back while she does it.

>>128219 >Youkozempic

>>128222 That's an inari,

>>128220 heaven... hell is when you take an empty seat only for another monster to not look (or not care) and sit down on you and bury you under her fat sweaty thighs and butt

>>128223 how can you tell?

>>128223 >Inarybelsus

>>128212 and if you follow the lightning strikes you can find ms raiju (or ms thunderbird on tour)

>>128225 he wasnt immediately pounced upon

>>128225 Her aura, her behavior, her disposition etc. Seriously, it isn't even halfway tough to distinguish between the two. When you break into a youko's house with a big shotgun, she spreads her legs and invites you to rape her (unless she's married, I guess?). When you break into an inari's house with a big shotgun, she tries to subjugate you (with her big boobs/ass/thighs) and make you her servant for challenging her. Then you blast her with demon silver lead and rape her anyway

>>128228 i try to listen for speech patterns inaris ara ara more and youkos kukuku when they laugh

>>128229 >*Catches the bullets with her chopsticks* >"Sugoi gaijin-sama. Demo!" >*teleports behind him and smashes shotgun in half with her handfan* >"Itadakimasu!" >*Anon is pulled into the kitsune's 3 tails, where he is milked for 24 hours* he couldn't even handle a 3 tailed fox

>>128231 >anon pulls out a second shotgun/his spare magnum and puts it in her mouth >pulls the trigger >the demon silver entering her mouth not only immobilizes her, allowing her to rape her in all holes, but also makes her addicted to sucking his dick

>>128228 That could just mean she's a very old Youko with back issues.

>>128234 Monsters don't have these issues

>>128235 i can't believe all those Old Women were merely tricking anon with their lifealert buttons just to get him to visit

>>128236 A fox would never lie with romance on the line.

I hope I get a profile accurate and proportionate inari.

>>128236 >now it's anon who has fallen and can't get up >but at least he can still get it up

>>128235 Considering the frontal load they have it can be pretty possible the fact that they develop back issues

>>128239 i see she knows her judo well

What is she thinking about?

>>128238 What?! Breasts smaller than basketballs, reasonable number and volume of tails that don't instantly mess up whatever room she enters, thighs any thinner than horse legs and height that doesn't require the home to be remodeled for her? Absolutely scandalous!

>>128243 she's just not very distinct. some of her alt outfits are nice

>>128243 I struggle to imagine being in a relationship with most of the non-mge foxes posted and/or don't recognise them. Yeah some of them are sexy, but inari is pretty, warm, reassuring and would be a fantastic wife.

>>128243 Personally I prefer the superior oppai lolibaba

>>128242 Rape or wait.

>>128244 The standard MGE Inari is beautiful but she would be even prettier wearing less clothes. Or as a loli. Or both.

Losing to single tail foxes...

>>128252 I love rolereversal.

Sometimes less can be more.

>>128252 at least it's not losing to zero tail foxes

>>128242 wondering what his spice tolerance is and rape

>>128255 >Ehh? >You lost? >Aren't you supposed to be high level? >Yet you're under a weak fox with no tails, sniffing her butt.

>>128256 I've heard ocelomeh milk/ocelomeh kisses/ocelomeh sweat are a good remedy for when you eat something too spicy. I think they're lying.

okay Halloween is over, how do i get rid of the bats?

>>128259 You can't get rid of your auntster

>>128258 >kisses so the tacokot dosent actually have a spice tolerance, they just neutralize the spiciness?

>>128261 it's like a chemical reaction between the two salivas when they mix. the resulting compound is an aphrodisiac. 1 in 3 ocelomeh have a genetic variant which amplifies the spice when you do this. instead of neutralising the spice, it makes you overwhelmed by the heat and makes you easier pickings.

>>128260 shes not my aunster. she just flew down(and got stuck in) the chimney at the start of october and started calling herself that in third person. now, how do i get rid of her? shes no longer scared of bright lights.

>>128262 >1 in 3 ocelomeh have a genetic variant which amplifies the spice when you do this. >instead of neutralising the spice, it makes you overwhelmed by the heat and makes you easier pickings. its a lot less sexy when you start vomiting from the heaving and coughing...

>>128258 Easy access milk with the straps. The sweat one was a joke, to see if you're gullible enough to lick her armpit/butt.

the temple of Bastet demands your tribute.

The random ogre at the bus stop demands your tribute.

>>128267 Why is she 3m tall?

>>128268 why arent you?

>>128267 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lK4cX5xGiQ

>>128268 Beeg is best

>>128271 I like small too

>>128268 It ain't easy being green. Or big.

>>128266 Paying tribute by making more cats

>>128274 30 kittens, now.

We should get more cats anon.

Beware of cats, pain and adrenaline makes them ovulate and they get pregnant extremely easy

Is vanilla dead?

>>128278 Remember that bromance is also vanilla

>>128278 its all size difference, addiction and slavery now im afraid.

>>128279 Alps would be so much better if they wore girly hairstyles with long hair instead of those boyish cuts

>>128278 That what auntsters are for, pure vanilla love

>>128278 Maybe? Seems like you can't talk about a wholesome candlelit dinner with your waifu or spending a holiday with your extended family without someone going "but what if (insert degenerate fetish here)". Which, I get it, and I get where we are. It's just a bit dejecting when you want a serving of vanilla now and then, but everyone is only tossing around triple chunky rocky road.

>>128282 Those children look like they have brain problems

>>128284 Well, this is what happens when you fuck your blood relatives

>>128278 Succs are busy but they're good girls

>>128284 They are just kawaii

>>128284 Doesn't matter, crusader kings showed me that they can still make powerful and prosperous empires

>>128288 >monster girl has the power and ambition to create an empire but she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer >anon is an out of shape neet but he has eve online levels of strategic autism

>>128287 I bet the daughters I make with my grandmomster will be extra kawaii

>>128290 Sinful Sunday

>>128291 The miracle of birth cannot be sinful.

>>128291 It's not a sin but part of their culture, you wouldn't understand

Are danuki wives weak to special offers? Buying in bulk? I think it'd be cute if she had a habit of bragging about how she gets the best bang for her buck whenever she comes back from shopping. Exceptions made when buying treats for anon or daughters.

>>128294 Well I dunno but this coon sure gets the best bang out of her buck.

>>128244 She doesn't pop out on a page, but she'd have no problem holding most men's attention if she were in front of them.

>>128294 I give her my whole salary, she knows what to buy monthly and does the grocery while what's left is invested and increased exponentially

>>128297 And she sometimes buys presents with the enormous wealth she's accumulated. If it fits, she'll hide it in her tail, and get anon to reach in and pull it out. For suspense. And also cause it feels good.

>>128292 If the miracle of birth is never sinful, what about watching it?

>>128292 What if it's a psychic demon baby like in Silent Hill?

>>128299 I'm pretty sure that there has to be a reality show about that in monster TV, so far everything is sex related

>>128268 Good diet.

She is such a dork.

>>128290 Wake me when you get one who is kowai.

>>128278 >wholesome Forget that, a lot of the time you can't talk about talk about vanilla romantic and sexual scenarios without someone barging in talking about incest or alps or some other gross stuff

>>128300 I fear to imagine what a deem child could do with psychotic powers. I fear even more for her future husband, but that's his problem.

>>128300 Just raise her with love and care

>>128305 >gross stuff 144 mamono is too many wives

>>128290 Incest babies everywhere making normal babies a rarity in the MGE hospitals

>>128308 Good number of daughters, though.

>>128310 Yesssssss

>>128308 Its not enough wives actually

hows this for vanilla romannce meeting a succubus in a bar and attracting her with your manly charms!

>>128313 perv

>>128308 Numbers like that appear when you have to take jobs like in the morgue or as a graveyard keeper

>>128313 That's pretty vanilla for the setting.

>>128314 perv would be jerking her tail under the table

>>128317 Nah, it's perverted.

>>128252 some such cases

>>128313 Oh sure. And then we go out on dates, and move in together, and fuck like rabbits every night. Soon we're calling each other pet names and, although married in the monster sense of the word, are slowly planning a wedding nonetheless. We might even try for kids! One morning I'll wake up and she'll have a funny look on her face, only to tell me that I'm going to be a father. One, two, maybe more. We'll get a larger house and raise them together. As one big happy family. Just like the DL intended.

>>128320 >fuck like rabbits Anon and his succ wife confirmed for big time furries.

>>128321 Where's the joke? Was that supposed to be funny?

>>128322 Like a succ wearing a bunny costume would be a bridge too far for you.

>>128313 I don't know, the basic premise wrecks my suspension of disbelief. >>128322 Please understand, the thread's pun-loving nature sometimes causes us to reach a bit.

a vanilla story mge wise would be just getting into a relationship with the ones explicity stated to to rape their targets like inari or umi osho

>>128324 If I make an eggregious enough pun, Miss Cheshire might stick around long to cook me a breakfast omelette.

>>128325 Ushi-Oni falls in love with an accident prone hemophiliac, and has to navigate loving him without hurting him. If you want to make it a slow burn story, say that mamono mana and incubizing isn't as instantaneous as the guides make it seem.

>>128327 I am accident prone, and I'm willing to become a hemophiliac to get this Ushi.

>High innate dexterity scores allow all kots to access sleight of hand skills, meaning even mage or warrior kots can lockpick >Nevermind thiefkots, who will always be able to break through your security No escape

>>128325 a man walks into the dragon's lair and offers her a wedding ring

>>128322 The joke is that you both drink the therio potion and fuck as furfags, duh

>>128331 The REAL joke is they both get distracted and eat like 5 lbs of lettuce.

>>128331 Again, where is the joke?

Imagine making a joke so unfunny she looks at you like this.

>>128334 thats rich coming from her

>>128334 Imagine using the N word in wonderland

>>128336 Hahaha oh I hope they don’t rape me.

>>128336 "Nyaaaa~!"

anon that joke wasn't funny at all. im serious. kiss my butt to apologise. i am super serious right now.

>>128339 But yesterday you said my REWARD for a GOOD JOKE was to kiss your butt!

>>128340 Smooching her ass is a running gag, don't you see?

>>128341 I keep telling her it'd be easier if she stood still, but she never listens.

>>128342 Can hardly be called 'running' if she's not moving, and it can hardly be called a 'gag' if her sweaty ass didn't take your breath away when you put your face in it.

The fantastical quests of Sir Anon of Balls, Apprentice Cheshire, Hatter the Wonderful Wizard and Princess Jabberwock.

>>128336 You should be more worried about using the C word: coffee

>>128339 Anal gape is an overused joke

>>128346 Just like Cheshy's pooper!

>>128345 It’s fine to describe Miss wocks skin. You might ask for coffee cake too. The beverage is just not the drink of choice at teaparties l. But you can find it in the home of any wock or chesh or even hat.

>>128339 Eating Cheshire butt is a joke with good taste

>>128336 something something Anon gets tipsy at the tea party and blurts out "fuck niggers", while later the hatter hosting it leaves and comes back with a jabberwock and happily goes "look Anon I found one, go ahead the other guests won't mind"

Black hatter…

scientifically interacting with ms ushi

>>128351 Black Hatter re-uses the most atrocious pop culture TV and movie dialog about computer security breaches.

>>128354 What about White Hatter? Now that I think about it, Red Hatter is probably into computers too.

>>128355 Red hatter is actually a fighter/mage.

>>128356 some sort of red cap, you might say

>>128357 no, no cap

>>128358 Bullshit, the cap is her main body

>>128359 Unc alert! Unc alert!

>>128358 For real, for real?

So if my mermaid wife needs a wheelchair to get around on land, does that mean we're allowed to park in the handicap parking spot?

>>128362 I don't see why not. We'd probably need similar help navigating underwater in big ol' scuba outfits.

>>128361 fr fr fam it's fire

>>128353 Mmm, cocoa hatter. >>128360 I wish the pyrows outside of the local mini mart would stop saying that every time I walk past. It hurts my feelings... >>128363 >big ol' scuba outfits. Poseidon, what the FUCK? I mean, thanks for the mermaid titties and everything, but aren't I supposed to be able to breathe underwater? I thought the dorkiest equipment I was going to need would be fins. Unless I took the panties route, I guess.

Sex. With cat. Cat sex. The cat will sex you

We're back! A Dinosaur Story

>>128366 Yes but I'm too cold right now, she needs to wait

Imagine being reheated by a big kot and a tea.

>>128350 even better if hatter is a slim 160cm woman and came with a sleepy and confused strongfat 200cm wock draped over her shoulder

>>128353 I need to be smolified, sat on miss hatter’s lap and be squeezed like a teddy bear.

>>128366 Monsters need to start dressing correctly. Her outfit is all out of whack. Skirt is too high, shirt is open, everything is crumpled up.

>"Imagine being reheated by a big anon and tea." She thought to herself. The fate of all coldblood single mamono is to think about you while shivering all winter. Won't you share your warmth with her anon?

Imagine Willy stroking your willy

>>128379 I'm imagining "Willy stroking your willy"

>>128380 Nightmares https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUF9XJamAK0

>>128379 >>128381 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBfatLqLmcs

>>128376 Don't they hibernate in the winter?

>>128384 Women? Uh, no? Did your mom hibernate all winter?

I wish I was hibernating right now.

>>128385 You leave my mother out of this, she was a saint

>>128387 >t. Anon w/ bear mom

>>128384 Most don't, but for the ones that do, hibernation isn't just sitting on a coma for months, they can still feel the cold. Many of them stop eating too. They could even die of loneliness. Is that what you want anon? A poor moth shivering her life away because you didn't invite her in?

>>128389 Wait a minute...

>>128389 Urge to butt bongos... RISING

>>128390 >dude let me in I'm a fairy

>>128392 Happens a lot.

Dude let me in I'm The Cheshire Cat™

>>128394 >Next morning >Purple dye everywhere >She is regular kot "I am deceived!"

>>128395 >A trickster werecat that likes to dress up Love her anyway.

>>128397 I am now imagining jinko attempting to dye herself purple and act "Cheshire" to get husbando.

>>128398 She mastered distracting her husband to hide that she can't actually teleport.

>>128399 >Russian Jinko dyes her white fur purple >Tries to tell Anon jokes in thicc !Russian accent >"Look! Behind you!" >Shifts positions to "teleport" >Chuffs instead of purrs, so fakes purring as needed >Anon just happy to have loving wife

>>128401 The cheshs hate that

>>128398 >Cheshire stand-up routine involves dressing up like other kots >She has a set of tinfoil pauldrons for Miss Jinko >Elaborate tailpussy puppet for manticore

>>128404 she should go back to pizza delivery

>>128405 Anon, that's not a pizza. That's a butt.

>>128406 That damn cat! Not again! Well, I’m not getting any less hungry staring at it.

>>128407 Get kissed

>>128408 She’s in the suitcase now. When you least expect it, chesh ass. When you least expect it, chesh kiss.

>>128408 Damn it Chesh, I'm trying to work. It might seem like a joke to you but we're doing a very serious job here at The Ministry of Silly Walks.

>>128405 I’ll eat her ass! That’ll show her.

Not all that giggles is chesh

>>128412 She, and her wonderland buddies, have some very silly walks.

When anon orders Cheshire ass, he’s gonna get a pizza. That tricky chesh. Always keeps you on your toes. And also she beans you get beaned get beaned get beaned.

>>128414 >anon sees a mamano drop her wallet and when he goes to pick it up and return it... rused once again

>>128416 I just want a cat on my lap

>>128421 I suggest you start smol. Say, a fox.

>>128422 Fine but will I get a kot after?

dog.

>>128423 one lapcat

>>128424 >"Oh hey Cerea. You tired?" <"Yeah. Barely slept." >"Up all night fucking the husband?" <"Up all night dealing with the pups."

>>128423 Best I can do next is 2 fox. Cats on back order.

>>128424 true

>>128424 big dog

>>128430 She protect. She attack.

>>128430 concerning degrees of bulge

>>128432 concerning saucenao

>>128432 >>128433 a cat ate the missing "n" from his post

Watch the hellhound for me. She bathing. Blissfully. Don't disturb her while I'm gone, ok? No touch.

>>128435 Oh how long can trusty cadet Anon hold out? Can he withstand the temptation to push the beans that even now beckon him ever closer? Will his tortured mind give in to its uncontrollable desires? Will he succumb to the maddening urge to get raped AT THE MERE PUSH OF A SINGLE PAWBEAN? WILL HE HOLD OUT, FOLKS? CAN HE HOLD OUT?

>>128432 The site I found it on had 1girl and muscular female in the tags, and no futa or bulge-related tags. However, the saucenao now shows that the artist made a futa variant of the picture.

>>128435 >>128437 I don't need it. I don't need it. I definitely don't need it.

>>128439 <right paw of the forbidden one <left paw of the forbidden one

forget about the beans, now the flesh between the beans thats the real prize

>>128426 The inly force capable of tiring out a hellhound is another hellhound. >>128429 I want to pet this one in all sorts of places. >>128435 But she looks so expectant!

>>128442 >But she looks so expectant! No, this is how an expectant dog looks like

>>128442 >The only force capable of tiring out a hellhound is another hellhound. What hellmom says, goes. And the same is true for hellmom's mom (grandma hound), and the same is true of her mother. They will fight it. They won't obey. But the outcome majority of time is the parent wins.

>>128444 God help the poor souls who have to deal with Hellmom at school functions. >Be Anon >It's the winter band and choir recital night at the high school auditorium >You're sitting in the back row with your wife, Helen, along with the other tall and/or light emitting mamono >It's just common courtesy, after all >The freshman band just finished playing their last song, and the students are filtering off the stage >Helen's waving at your son, but he seems more focused in chatting up the kobold trumpeter he was sitting next to >You grin, the apple doesn't fall to far off the tree it seems >As the stage empties, and the Junior Choir files on, you see your daughter smirking, and messing with the ear of a shorter boy in front of her >It looks to be in good fun, if his smile was anything to go by >You can practically feel your wife beaming in pride next to you >Up until you hear forceful footsteps stomping your way >Turning to look at the source, your grin falls, and you hear Helen let out a soft huff >A short human woman with feathered blonde hair and a frown that looked permanent was stomping your way >Ohhh boy <"You must be Francine's parents. Would you tell your br-" <"No." >Helen's smile has turned into a wide grin, and she's practically vibrating in her seat >The Karen's frown only deepens, and she looks like she wants to slap your wife >Hooooo boy, this could go bad >You really don't want one of them to start a scene that gets you kicked out >Your daughter has the solo part in Ave Maria, you don’t want to miss it <"What do you mean, no? Your daughter has been harassing my boy for weeks now! If you can't control her, I'll go talk to Princi-" >Helen laughs, not in a condescending manner, but like someone told a damn good joke >Which, is not that far off <"Control Frankie? She is under control." >Helen gets up from her seat, and the Karen's face seems to pale by a few shades >She's starting to understand that a seven and a half foot tall Hellhound is not someone you want to trifle with <"If my daughter had her way, your boy would have been dragged under the bleachers during homecoming and made into a man. I gave her some 'advice' on patience.''" >Helen leaned down to meet the five foot two Karen's gaze, her eye flames flaring out in larger gouts <"What she's doing now, is making sure no other girls touch him. Frankie is not one to share. Your boy's pelvis is safe." >Helen sits back down, and waves her off <"Look, we'll talk after the show. Christmas is coming soon and I know they'll be an item by then. I'm sure we can come to a mutual understanding, riiiiight?~" <She gives the Karen one more toothy grin, as the smaller woman scurries back to her seat

>>128445 I'm rooting for that boy and his future kobold.

>>128445 Yeah, you tell her Helen. Get him round for a sleepover with helldaughter. Make a good impression. Love conquers all.

"Excuse me lady, but this is the men's sauna"

>>128448 >Two signs for saunas purposefully scrawled in terrible whitehorn handwriting, so that "Men's sauna" and "Mon's sauna" are indistinguishable.

>>128448 Having separate accommodations is so wasteful and unnecessary.

>>128450 Between that and all the dragons (mostly wurms) just crashing through the walls anyway it makes little sense to bother separating the baths.

Squishy wizard Anons belong to big strong hellhounds

>>128452 No! Bugs! They belong to bugs!

>>128452 >>128453 Why not both? Who's gonna fuck with a wizard that's got a hellhound on one side and an abaddon on the other? They are. They're both fucking the wizard.

>>128454 Obviously, one has to keep their familiars well supplied with mana, after all. He no longer has a choice in the matter, but still.

>>128452 HEY. I'm not squishy. Wait Miss Hound that's not an invitation to squish me-

>>128450 >"Oh I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know this one was occupied." >anon turns to leave, but underneath the water he feels two tails wrap around his legs <"Don't be silly, there's room for one more."

>>128457 It’s that shrimple!

>>128439 >>128435 >>128437

>>128459 You FOOL! You've doomed us all!

>>128459 >You are struck by an inescapable feeling of dread…

>>128450 I want to get in the hot springs and get joined by a bunch of dragon lolis

Sweaty hellhound in the sauna splaying her legs and arms, opening up her boobs/crotch and steam coming out

>>128448 She used to be one so it's okay

>>128469 She used to be a sauna?

>>128471 many such cases

>>128472 >Subduction >The process where one tectonic plate slides beneath another and sinks into Earth’s hot interior

>>128471 And will be one again. What's the point in having a fire element wife if you don't occasionally use her for heating or cooking?

>>128450 What I will give to get the onsens experience with a nekomata and a jinko

Natural hotsprings are very dangerous. You might stumble across a naked oni drinking whiskey. You might be invited to join her. You might be squashed like the small mammal you are against her giant red frame when she possesses her arm around you. You might end up drinking too much from the peer pressure of it all, and end up drunkenly making out with her tits.

LILIMS SUCK

>>128483 among other things

>>128480 Your bachelorhood at least. No major loss.

Demons in your area. She forgot her contract stuff back home. She’s on holiday! Forbidden (by law) to do any sort of contracts or deals. She’s meant to sit back and relax. But, she can and will attempt to sway you. With ice cream, and a bikini, and a martini. Maybe she can convince you to go back home with her, where she can then do all the contract stuff. For now though, it’s tanning on the beach and letting you ogle her lotioned purple ass.

>>128489 I choose the ice cream. I am too fat to wear a bikini and I have work in the morning.

>>128489 If you think about it, getting to know you for a little and letting you get to know her for a little should make for a better contract...

>>128494 anon is a simple creature of simple desires

>>128496 >Anon drives a hard bargain >As much ice cream as he wants in ANY flavor available at local stores and shoppes. >Also good morning kisses and good night kisses whenever they are cohabitating for the night.

>>128252 i no longer have the will to fight

need girl to text me things like "roflcopter"

>>128499 So a chesh ?

>>128486 An easy bargain, I also need a few brushes but that's simple too

Girlfailure mamono.

>>128503 She's just a little batty

>>128503 Clearly she needs more belts

>>128503 >Girlfailure Call me unc but what's that?

>>128506 A woman who doesn't work a 9-to-5 at some office

>>128507 So a neet?

>>128508 So it seem, so it seems.

>>128506 The opposite of a "girlboss".

>>128507 So kiki like >>128310 is a girlfailure?

>>128511 Ah, so what would be in the middle? A mamono that work in a office/shop/workshop but not in the higher hierarchy?

>>128512 No matter how I look at it, a woman that pregnant cannot be a failure

>>128512 No, she's a maid

>>128503 So, where exactly do her gloves end and her arm fuzz begin?

>>128519 Gloves? Honey, that's just more wing wrapped up to look like gloves

>>128503 >devilbug's home is worse than fridgebro

>>128521 One woman's trash is monster girls treasure, or so they say.

Did you know that succs have horns because they are silly?

I really need goon (not gooner) monstergirls in my life. <"Hey Boss" <"What's up, Boss?" <"I'll do whatever you say, Boss." <"You better treat the Boss well, or else..." <"I'm only loyal to the Boss."

>>128525 Dormouse doesn't look like it, but she really gets things done.

>>128526 In her dreams she does. Literally, you should see the gal while she's sleepwalking. She does her job faster than anyone else. It's really no wonder she's so tired when she's awake.

>>128524 I dunno. Seems pretty srs bznz to me.

>>128528 Reopen the strait of anonymoose

>>128530 I just want to hug a business succ and put little bangles and stuff on her horns while we watch cooking shows on TV.

>>128532 The dream.

>>128533 >Business succ embarrassed that Anon painstakingly wrapped her horns in ribbons, lace, fresh flowers, and gold chains. >Coworkers see a few picks on her Insta >INTENSE jealousy from all of them Her smugness grew 3 sizes that day

>>128534 two possibilities >other succs have husbands but aren’t decorating their wife’s horns >clearly they need bangles, daisies, chains, sequins, tinsel and any other art craft they can think of >and some creativity! >…or the succ is single >sad! >this is unacceptable >send anon now

>>128534 At least she has a husband, meanwhile business Alps are starving for companionship

>>128536 You need to separate business from pleasure, please understand.

Tying a bow to a succubi’s tail.

>>128538 MODS! MODS! This is a blue board, Anon! You can't post that here!

I'm trying to preserve my virginity, so I've decided to get a vasectomy in order to make myself unattractive to monsters.

>>128539 >This is a blue board No it's not.

>>128541 This is just normal succ stuff. Nothing LEWD like the other guy posted.