>>129155 Nigga, that's nuts

you should settle down with a nice spider

>>129155 Staying with my auntster all weekend and giving her nuts nonstop all day

>Tomboy friend demon >Maintains a contract you signed when you were both 5 is legally binding

>>129159 >You're pretty sure her mom would get you out of it (or at least make her daughter draw up a new contract) if you asked, but the original one is just to love each other 4eva and kiss and stuff >They're the loosest terms you could hope for and even you have to admit it's kinda cute.

I thought friday was over, why are we still talking about aunts. It's caturday now.

>>129160 The deal was pretty good. Anon got to ride her tricycle.

>>129161 There was actually a shocking lack of incestposting this friday, as if the usual auntfuckers were brits.

I'm really interested in the dynamic between a deem and a man who reads the contract and haggles terms vs. a deem and a man who melts under her seduction and just signs. There's a happy ending eother way, but I bet they'd look a lot different.

>>129164 commonlaw demon wife sex (contractless)

>>129162 She has a motorcycle now. Apparently Anon still has riding privileges but it'd be better if he takes the back seat. >>129165 >Vomiting demons >Clapping tanuki

>>129161 Satuday, waking up in bed and realizing that you are naked and next to you is your naked cat auntster also eyeing out after also getting lucid from her slumber, also naked she climbs on top of you and lay her bare body, offering you her breasts so you can start the morning consuming her highly nutritious milk, while you get breastfed she purrs violently on top of you and with her lower body starts playing with your morning wood getting you in the mood and going at it having several more rounds of how sweaty fun before getting out of bed. Later she gets up to make some breakfast (or lunch at that hour) still naked and alluring you with the movements of her voluptuous body while walking complemented with the attractive motion of her tail (or tails)

>>129159 Why wouldn't it be binding? Bill and Samantha witnessed it and then you pinkie swore and did the thumb kiss even

>>129167 So when are you going to take these incest snippets and write a fully fleshed out story? I'm not being facetious either, I'd read it. Just seems a shame to not fully capitalize on that creative drive.

>>129168 Five is too young to consent to marriage; even demons usually require you to be at least eight. We joke, but they take these things seriously.

>>129166 >Clapping tanuki I'm interested in clapping a tanuki, if you know what I mean.

>>129169 I'm not a writer

>>129172 You will be. You will be...

>>129173 oh ms sidhe, and her actionable threats

>>129167 I would be happy just seeing my auntie cooking me a nice meal all comfortable just wearing an apron while I'm outside working on woodworking orders for the week and then she calls me to go back inside for lunch

>>129167 Why a hag when you can bodyguard your nyankuza friend and make sure her body is safe next to you

>>129176 i do like a fat cat but really they should be lithe and athletic at least until they're married a couple years

>>129170 It's a pre-order

>Wow anon, you made it three whole miles without abandoning your quest to fuck a cow or succubus or slime? >That is VERY impressive

>>129179 but my quest wasn't to fuck a cow, it was to beep a sheep. fuck a cow is like level 10 or something

>>129180 I got this quest to fuck an eldritch spider cow, which is level 55. How the hell am I even supposed to DO that? I'm in the starting area!

>>129180 Yeah yeah. Whatever makes you feel better at having your journey ended within an hour walk of your home town. And who says the sheep wanted to be beeped? A sheep got dreams too you know.

Is it true that the wife's sister is promised her first-born son if the husband rejects polygamy.

>>129183 Chubby Single Danuki hands typed this post.

Bird up

>>129180 Touching a cow is level 1. I hear you gain levels very quickly if you complete that optional but very urgent side quest.

It’s not cow time it sheep time god fucking damn they are the apex predators of the starting zone their fat fucking cow tits just crowd out the rest of us honest, less endowed monsters holy shit “cow cow cow” every day haha “touch the cow” haha “oh milky i want my milky” GOD DAMMIT. WHAT ABOUT US SHEEP, GOATS AND CENTAURS.

>>129187 i am but a humble barometz rancher

>>129187 Well, have you tried being milky?

>>129189 pound for pound goats make a lot more milk than cows ponder upon ms krampus

>>129190 Weak horns.

>>129187 >>129192

>>129191 >Disingenuous titles again refusing to measure per capita as any reasonable man would Every time. That said, I HAVE spent some time pondering Ms. Krampus. Hers is the only naughty list I want to be on.

Cow are are not suited to every climate. Even the hardier types, like ushis or minos, may struggle in places with extreme heat, cold, tropical or dry environments. I would recommend keeping cows where they are happy. If you are in one of those environments, seek out a local alternative.

>>129195 there are cows everywhere for those with the eyes to see yaks, camels, water buffalo, manatees, abyssal cows, space cows, cyber cows, sky cows

>>129196 >sky cows They're called "wocks"

What if there was a poison cow?

>>129198 catoblepas, maybe?

>>129197 Wocks barely fly. I think he's referring to wyverns on a high calcium diet.

>>129199 >Makes you cum by just looking at you. Doesn't even give me time to enjoy her milk. Why do so many monsters insist on intanuts like that. Takes the whole fun out of it.

I have an immense lust for fat loli Balrog ass and this image isn't helping matters even if it's an adult one

>>129201 Much easier to bag a man if he's just cum so hard he's passed out. The slow stuff can come later.

>>129203 Lucky pumpkin.

>>129201 yeah but her bangs cover her eyes so it's OK

I am going to fuck a balrog's armpit.

>>129208 I want to fuck a loli Balrog's mouth, thighs, pussy and ass, however not on the first date. I have a headcanon that while they look like slutty brats and are flirty, they're more in the "nice pure gyaru" camp and one probably should take it slow and enjoy the gap moe and cute romance with a cute (much) younger girl, instead of immediately going to plapping.

I want a balrog to sit her fat tanned gyaru ass on my face.

I want a balrog to roast hot dogs and marshmallows with near a cozy fire

>>129211 This. And the fire doesn't even have to be coming from her body! We can use a normal wood flame like happy peasants!

>>129212 That'd be better, in fact. For snuggling reasons.

>>129208 This but her anus instead

>>129217 This but her credit score instead.

>>129208 This but in every hole

>>129208 This but licking

>>129220 Butt licking

>>129208 >>129220 >>129221 What would the sweatiness levels be for balrogs? They live in volcanic regions so they are bound to sweat a ton from the heat.

>>129222 Being fire monsters, they might not sweat at all. Same as ice monsters not being bothered by the cold.

>>129223 >they might not sweat at all NTA, but if that is true, I WILL cry, Anon. I WILL cry.

>>129223 If that's the case, then salamanders and balrogs have plummeted in my favorite girls list.

Balrog elementary schooler face-down-ass-up anal sex

>>129223 not sweating from temperature does not deny sweating from exertion

>>129224 >>129225 There's some droplets on the official Balrog profile, so it could be they don't sweat because of the temperature itself. Physical exercise or nervousness can do the trick.

>>129224 >>129225 Lava Golem, Hellhound, and Balrog all have visible sweat marks in official art so sweat anons we are good.

>>129228 Convincing my balrog wife to adopt an intense workout routine so I can get a face full of sweaty gyaru ass when she's done.

Face full of sweaty tits or face full of sweaty ass?

>>129231 tits

>>129231 Tits. Easy access to the sweaty tummy too.

>>129231 Gotta be tits. Tits are awesome.

Tits.

>>129231 Titties to suckle on after licking off the sweat

>>129229 They're really workin' up a black sweat. I bet they like to listen to Prince.

Which mamono has the nicest tummy, sweaty or no? I'm pretty sure that it's the dhampir, but I'm curious to hear what other people think.

>>129238 Apsara or Genie. Dancer's builds usually have the best tummy which makes sense why a Dhampir is up there as well, sword fighting is like a dance.

>>129238 I love Jinkos in general for more than one reason, tummy is one of their strong points.

>>129198 Closest I can think of is a Gorgon from D&D. Basically a metal cow that breathes a petrifying gas.

>>129238 Canon art wise these three have great ones, you'll have to zoom in to take a closer look to see the outlines on the Wight. Lorewise Salamanders would probably have amazing midriffs but the profile art lacks that detail.

>>129231 Everyone is saying tits, but I want to bury my face in sweaty monster ass. I would bury my nose so deep into their crack.

>>129238 not sure if best but I'd lick.

>>129230 >like, wouldn't you rather I showered first?

>>129238 So, >>129239 pretty much summed it up, but I'd like to add sneks to the list for similar reasons. They'd get a decent core workout just slithering around.

>>129246 Noodles STRONG

The thing I find really sexy about lamias is how they're so big and long and how they can easily strangle me.

>>129249 they got everything you need in a women: sharp pupils, forked tongue, smooth scales, soft scutes, they're extremely heavy and have an enchanted voice and boobs

>>129240 True, drinking fro

>>129249 Anon, I don't think you can handle a LARGE SNAKE. That being said, here's a LARGE SNAKE. She is nice and likes to eat whole chickens, preferably roasted.

>>129231 Tits without a doubt

>>129252 >She is nice and likes to eat whole chickens, preferably roasted. She does this like once a week and doesn't eat anything other than dick in between, but man is it something to watch when it happens.

>>129254 >Wife eats 4 whole roast chickens >Becomes 'eepy >COIL TIME for Anon >Very cozy

Having a good Koturday?

>>129256 All days with kots are good days. And kots mostly exist every day of the week. Except Cheshires. They only exist on Blursdays.

Nyo....

>>129238 She spends a lot of time swimming and snek anatomy probably means it still gets some work even on land, so it's probably incredibly toned. Also that one story where the guy gets to spooge on his jock Bunyip swim team bully's stomach really activated my almonds.

>>129259 Anon, she spends most of her time pouting and wallowing in her own fear of talking to the boy she likes.

>>129256 I enjoyed it a lot together with my auntster, cooking, playing vidya and watching some anime, and of course having lots of unprotected incestual sex, and I guess it will last all the way to Sunday too so I'm hers the whole weekend

Dead hours

I just want you to know, the odds of being raped by a cat are low but never ze- Wait, we just go the new numbers in There is a very high risk of being raped by a cat

>>129265 It's not rape if I want to fuck the kot

>>129265 dog science results still pending

>>129267 He looks like a Rumiko Takahashi male, so he's probably asking for it

>>129267 y is the dog all tacticool

>>129270 Why would the dog not be all tacticool? If you were smart, you would be tacticool too.

I'm sorry anon, but your wife has been diagnosed with being a Mary Sue Donut Steel OC. It's terminal, there's nothing we can do about it.

>>129274 I ....I understand. Just, please dont tell her, ok? I'll do it. Just let us have these last few monents of peace as I take her home. Please, I beg you. Dont tell her she's a terminal mary sue snowflake.....!

>>129270 I want to rescued and/or arrested by the tactidogs.

When they said I'd be "working under a new management" I thought they were just switching my boss

>>129277 Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa--? I thought THIS was the whole image.

>>129278 You can see the top of the head under the table on the cropped version.

>>129279 Yup. I see it now, but I never knew to look for it! It also explains why she is slightly sweaty. It ain't the paperwork.

I got transferred to a new department about a month ago, and my new boss is a kunoichi. I think. I've never actually met her in person, I just find messages for me impaled to my desk by those little ninja knives every so often. She seems to like my work, so that's good, but I don't even know what my performance review is gonna look like.

>>129281 Maybe she is just a weeb.

I’m going to get my sexy kunoichi wife to try wearing stealthy outfits from other cultures. We’ll have assassins, rogues, secret agents, full latex, and more.

>>129283 >Kunoichi wife watches Suddenly Spies >Thinks it is fetish training for young people >Approves mightily

>>129281 Typical boss. Never to be seen, never working, and always judging the performance of others.

>>129285 Yeah, I'm kinda suspecting that she only took the job as part of a mission and she's doing the barest minimum work to stay in cover. I'd ask why she hasn't been fired yet, but we still have the best numbers in the company, somehow.

>>129286 Does she even attend meetings?

>>129287 She's on Teams. Audio only.

>>129288 You should check her office during a meeting on a day she's supposed to be in office.. If she's not there, she's a spy for a rival corporation.

>>129288 Not even audio, actually; she's there, but she never unmutes and never responds when we ask her stuff; we just find more messages for us after the fact.

>>129290 Nah, she's never muted. She just never makes even the tiniest sound; even while typing.

>>129283 >Kunoichi in a suit

>>129292 >Kunoichi wearing a giant heart costume

>>129293 >Kunoichi wearing a cupid's uniform and a cupid wearing kunoichi uniform

>>129294 I think a kunoichi could be an excellent cupid. Just with more knives and fewer arrows.

Today is Sunday, time to go to church, perform a sacred rite of reproduction as an offering and then time to go back home

White Anon asks for ryu at the shrine in PERFECT Zipangese, STUNS shirohebis.

>>129270 Because it's time to operate

Zipanguese Mandrake asks for a Big Wock at the WockDonalds in PERFECT Wonderlandian, STUNS Cheshires.

>>129267 imagine explaining the concept of personal space to a mamano

>>129296 When nuns and priestesses give birth to the next generation there no shortage of manpower at churches, it's a genius strategy

>>129303 I think most of them would understand. Clingy mamono would still just need to be as close to you as possible, even if they know they are being a bit overbearing. Dominant mamono would obviously decide to consciously ignore it to cement their dominance over you. Hebis would melt down, accuse you of not loving them and cheating on them for demanding such a thing, and then blue fire raping you.

>>129305 you just have to take the initiative more. Be the one to hug first more often. that'll make the request more palatable.

Today is good breasts day

>>129305 i think they would conceptually grasp it but also not realize it also applies to them and not just other women

>>129307 Every fix has two things. Massive breasts and HUGE ears.

>>129309 I mean to say every good fox. I misspelled that badly.

>>129310 it does have therapeutic benefits

I can fix the fox.

I can make the fox worse.

I can make the fox coffee and have a discussion about the current socio-economic affairs of portal trade between Zipangu and Japan.

I can do with the fox on the rocks with the musical box

>>129307 Breasts are good indeed. And not just for a day.

The Mist Continent trade imbalance has caused this monkey to eat my banana

>>129317 oooh, banana!

>>129318 She cute. I want to eat her home cooking.

>>129319 bet it'll include hotpot

>>129296 >dat thiccness One of my many weaknesses.

Going to release a bunch of red balloons into a kakuen village.

>>129322 99 red balloons

We talk about arachnophobes and arachnes. But what about thalassophobes ending up with a kraken wife?

>>129324 Well he's scared of the sea, not tentacles

>>129320 Hotpot sucks by yourself. Two might be enough. Time to make more monkeys.

>>129325 But I'd imagine how terrifying it would be when he plummets into the middle of the ocean after she sinks the ship he's on. That kraken is going to have a lot of comforting to do.

>>129322 A kakuen village could look pretty cool. Lots of things to climb on.

>>129327 Can't fear the deep when your face is buried in tiddy

>>129327 as an ocean disenjoyer my main problems with it are the peril, drowning, the darkness and the unknown horrors lurking about. krakens demand a lot of attention. it's a little hard to worry about the unknown when you're squeezed in the tight embrace of a known squid knowingly knowing at you

>>129330 Biblically knowing squid

>>129307 Yay

>>129332 I wonder if there's a sweat day

I will simply use the mershark to guard against the kraken.

>>129332 I want to lick a monster's body during sex to recover my electrolytes

>>129335 It's what plants crave!

>>129335 May I interest you in a Barometz?

>>129337 for when you need fruit, sheep and motion all in one convenient package

>We're rich >We're rich >We're rich >We're rich >We're rich >We're rich >We're rich >We're rich

>>129339 Haha! Tiny girls with big booba! Such contrast!

>>129340 huge boobs look the best on a short body

SUNday

>>129340 It's the best

>>129342 tsunday

Dragon fire is powerful but is it strong enough to burn away my depression, anxiety and feelings of uselessness?

>>129342 sUNDay

>>129346 What's an und?

>>129345 Actually, yes.

>>129346 What?

>>129347 UNDer your desk giving you a helping hand

Snowday (Winterstown shops still expect you to come into work during a blizzard)

>>129353 Work? I thought all these northern lands just let you be a NEET because they're rich and stuff?

>>129344 How to untsun the tomboy dragon? She's too mean and it hurts now

>>129355 Call in sick, she'll move heaven and earth to come nurse you back to health.

>>129355 >How to untsun the tomboy dragon? Why would you want to? Watching her glare at you with anger and embarrassment as you make her squeal and yelp in bed is the best

>>129356 >Get harassed and called names when sick Don't know anon, maybe not the best idea

>>129303 Sandworms understand personal space very well: everything inside her shell is her personal space, including you if you don't run fast enough.

>>129358 Pretend your fever is so high it knocks you unconscious, you can hear her say all kinds of sweet things when she thinks you can't hold her accountable. Then wake up and tell her about a dream you had. About her. Saying these things. Repeat them verbatim, then laugh about it, as if that'd ever happen, right?

Some things never change, men will always like tsunderes and dragons.

>>129361 We also like getting flowers and chocolates.

>>129283 There are so many options, but I don't know if I want the pant suit kunoichi or cat suit kunoichi more. >>129284 She isn't wrong. >>129309 If I whisper sweet nothings into those ears would they echo back at me?

>>129360 I honestly don't seehow it would positively end.

>>129354 Somebody has to keep the diners and banks running - if little Wendi wants to deposit a few animal bones into her account at the bank, it will be open

>>129364 We must accelerate

>>129366 Will the tsun wall break or will you be shattered on it... ho knows

>>129367 tsun walls are made of DIAMOND, the hardest metal, so Anon has no chance.

>>129368 Anon has the density of a harem protagonist, this will cause the carbon molecules to be shredded apart like paper

>>129368 diamond is weak to fire

>>129355 they got multiple foodstuffs for that

>>129371 >lotus style sex with leglock How uncouth. It'a almost like she loves him and craves sex!

>>129371 >dhampir factory

>>129371 That dhampir sure looks ecstatic.

>>129374 >man incubizes the precise moment ms vampire is impregnated with twins >somehow, identical twin dhampir/vampire sisters ship it

Winter would be a lot less depressing if i had some icy bluebs on my face.

>>129375 I thought that would result in the vampire blowing up into 5,000 pop-tarts?

>>129373 Garlic her up and have that tattooed over her womb. If your daughters aren't enough of a reminder she'll never be able to wear a two piece swimsuit again. >>129379 I'd prefer warm bluebs on a cold night, but I hear you.

>>129380 Eventually a vampire stops being able to produce dhamphirs once her husband incubizes, so i guess it's more like "decommissioned dhampir factory".

One of the things I think about doing with my wife post-portals is showing her human movies and tv shows. Since I've been watching old episodes of Kitchen Nightmares, I'm now thinking about showing them to a kiki and watching her mortified reaction to the unsanitary conditions of the restaurants.

>>129382 Cruel. I will simply make my Cheshwife watch Supernatural with me. All 15 seasons.

>>129382 The PEGI/ESRB gonna have to do an entirely new content rating system specifically to warn mamono of content they might find appalling

>>129382 While those situations are always interesting, i don't thing being horrified at the sanitation on Kitchen Nightmares is a Kiki exclusive thing.

>>129382 Show them The Thing.

>>129386 >As the movie proceeds, Kikiwife equally horrified and smug >"Zee, Master, Ziss iz why Ze Shog iz disgusting."

>>129387 I thought they work with the shogs together?

>>129388 Shog/Kiki relations are complex.

>Manticore watches movies set in 1950s/1960s >Decides to dress and act accordingly >Except anon's gonna be the one who get 'pinned' (spined)

>>129390 That's a really broad chunk of history. What kinda stuff you thinkin' about?

>Dragon watches any movie that features dragons >starts talking about the inaccuracies and how they didn't make them beautiful and majestic enough >Malef Dragon watches Sleeping Beauty >"This is bullshit I could've tanked that"

>>129393 I actually laughed out loud. A+

>>129389 They can get along. >>129393 Show them Dragonheart.

>Movie night in Wonderland >present Disney's Alice in Wonderland >movie has to be stopped every 10 minutes because most mamono present keep yapping about how unrealistic it is >Queen of Hearts raises actual hell when her movie counterpart shows up

>>129391 Mostly thinking about late 1950s Americana. The hair, the cars, the diners, suburbia, rock and roll. Manticore in a dress with her hair done up in a bouffant or a beehive or something. Shirt dress, capri pants etc. Super dangerous predator of suburbia.

>>129381 You're gonna have to get her drunk again to make that modification. >>129393 Don't let her near How to Tame Your Dragon or anything related to Temeraire.

I hope Miss Dragon does not mind me saying this, but I think she would look cool as hell covered with neon lights and as the centerpiece of a local new year's celebration.

>>129399 cheshire-like typing detected, hope she falls for it

>>129398 >show her How To Tame Your Dragon >that gave her the best laugh in the last few centuries

>>129382 > Show my deem wife Helltaker > Deem wife immediately approves of idea of man going into Hell in order to form demon harem > Is disappointed that there's no fucking in-game > Docks points for the fact that none of the in-game demons are blue > Made very uncomfortable by the fact that the various demons in-game can and will kill the Helltaker

Me and my grape wife are going to watch spaghetti westerns.

>>129403 Except Justice, because she's awesome.

>>129405 Justice is awesome

>>129404 >Grape wife hears spaghetti Western >Decides to make an evening out of it >Spaghetti is an erotic food anyway, since it's a NOODLE.

>>129389 >master. >anon turns around to see his kiki greeting with a small curtsy >a lightbulb has gone out. if you could go into the basement and retrieve one, it would be appreciated. >the basement? he hesitates. >yes, she said flatly. >...down there? >yes, that is where the lightbulbs are. >i'm not sure; you know after the last tim- >i'm quite busy with laundry and cooking right now and this would be very helpful. could you please go grab one? her tone implied this was moreso a demand than a request >r-right, i can do that. just, uh, in and out. real fast. he detected the faintest of a smirk at the edge of her mouth >that's right, she said. up and down, in and out. you'll be done before you know it. >anon stood before the basement door as if it were the gates of the underworld itself. he idly pondered getting "abandon all hope, ye who enter here" etched above it. >his hand rested upon the doorknob >today, please. the kiki crossed her arms >he stumbled inside and the door slammed like a dungeon's gate behind him >the kiki took a moment to twist the loosened bulb back into socket and it lit up, then returned to her duties >... >anon remained at the top of the basement stairs, staring down into the darkness >he could see the box he needed stacked on a shelf across the room, so close yet forever away. >quietly, he thought. the oaken stair creaked under his weight. he avoided the guardrails embrace as he clambered down. >things were different, he could tell. items moved. the room was larger than before, tunnels stretched in all directions. had she been excavating? maybe that was good though, then maybe she wouldn't notice him... >a yellow eye opened up on the wall next to him. >an unearthly howl/shriek echoed from one of the tunnels. welp, time to hurry. >he rifled through the unorganized box. was it 40 watt or 60 watt he needed, he couldn't remember. i'll just take both, he thought. that seems sensible. >he could feel a tremor in the ground as...she...raced towards him from some unseen passage >the oak of the stairs turned to purple mush as he stepped on them, he tripped into more purple sludge as the 'stairs' cushioned his fall. >he had just enough time to flip over in the mush before she slammed into him >master-master-master-master-master-master, she rapidly chanted, peppering the pauses with kisses (mostly from her primary face). she and the former stairs gave him a tight embrace. i missed you so much! >i, uh, missed you too. he couldn't stop shaking, but she often misinterpreted this as excitement. fear and excitement can be rather close emotions, after all. he could feel her touch turning lecherous so he tried to divert her thoughts. i see you've been doing some remodeling? >she gave him a quizzical look, pawing at her own face. >with the room, i mean. >oh yeah! i get aimless if i'm not working on something. i've been digging a maze of tunnels for that game we play. >game? >you know, the one where you playfully run away from me? a tongue licked him, somewhere. >oh. that...sounds nice. she absorbed a bead of sweat as it ran down his face. >doesn't it? while anon is truly an ungrateful fellow, it is good to give shogs a little bit of spooky flair (and sometimes it's just nice to have a semi-feral basement maid) i think kiki doing whatever she wants upstairs and ms shog doing whatever she wants downstairs is a good split of responsibilities. they can both visit back and forth, of course.

>>129382 I've been thinking about how kiki's tastes might contrast between when she's on and off duty. Like if she was perfectly prim and proper while working but was a total metalhead DORK in her free time. She'd still be spouting off decades worth of obscure trivia after two hours of showing you her treasured vinyl collection and God help you if you start her side quest by finding her old band photos.

>>129409 I do that, too, but Day Kiki is meido and Night Kiki is RAPIST.

>>129408 Normally I'd say keeping lightbulbs in the basement is a bad idea, but it must have been intentional in this case.

>>129410 Kiki who's a subservient maid who serves her master during the day. But during the night, she's a dark elf-level dom who'll put her master on a leash.

>>129412 joromora kikigumo

>>129412 >"Who wants walkies~?" >>129413 Spider Kiki, Spider Kiki Does whatever a Spider Kiki does!

>>129413 >kikigumo

>>129408 More mamono should have their own private hunting grounds where they can indulge their monstrous side and recreate the fun of meeting their husband for the first time. A secluded dark forest for a hellhound or other predator mamono, a graveyard for an undead mamono...an open field for a cow mamono, I guess.

Can I get one in a more loving/gentle dom flavor? Some of us struggle just to put our hands on our maids inappropriately.

ded

>>129420 what's the deal with them floating a cross/gravestone behind them anyway? swag?

>>129421 According to what the wiki says it's "a homemade magical tool to enhance and stabilize their necromancy" So, basically a really big wand/staff.

>>129422 though the tools may vary the pants stay off such is the ethos of the lich

>>129423 When you're (a) a being of supreme magical ability, (b) an undead being who doesn't feel pain and (c) a complete and utter dork, pants pretty much become entirely optional. I wonder if liches ever feel self-conscious when they crack their phylacteries and suddenly feel the need to be a bit more garbed.

>>129424 Nah when the phylactery breaks they get horny in which case pants off is the ideal scenario

>>129423 Pants are blasphemy to Hel.

>>129409 >On-duty Kiki is very prim, proper, and organized >Off-duty Kiki dispels the illusory magic concealing her dark choco skin and extravagant makeup, puts on a pair of skin-tight cut off jeans and a tattered crop top, then drags her master-husband into the nearest seedy alley for rough, sloppy, and indecently loud sex while taking plenty of orgasm face selfies with her smartphone (it's programmed to auto-forward the pics to her master-husband at various times of the day to make sure he's always ready to go the moment he gets home and her "shift" ends)

>>129427 On second thought maybe it's safer not to touch the Sphinx tummy >>129428 Does she have Prince Albert in a can? well she better let the poor guy out! Waha-waha-waha!

>>129429 Good girls gone bad is a popular aesthetic and you know master gets a real kick out of seeing his proper, stuffy, snooty kiki act like a random street whore for him

>>129428 Monsters working as cashiers and looking judgmentally at your purchases!

>>129433 >*beep* >13 pounds of sugar >*beep* >yeast <Dancing in the shine of the moon, are we? Maybe I'll just use the self-serivce check out...

>>129430 It's impossible to not touch it

>>129434 >If you want something done right, do it yourself. You know?

>>129436 It's actually so that he can counter the basilisk boss fight.

>>129433 >Dump 65 cans of 'deens in olive oil on the Merrow cashier's register while you ramble on and on about "gains" and "omega-3"

>>129438 Deens?

>>129416 <Welcome... TO MY LAIR! <Heh, lair. First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really.

>>129440 Ma'am this is a children's water park

>>129439 sardines

>>129408 Imagine digging a non-euclidian basement extension together with your civil ShogEngineer. That's like every man's dream.

>>129443 TONIGHT ON 'MAN DIGS HOLE'

>>129443 >non-euclidian basement extension Hmmm...

>>129443 DON'T YOU OPEN THAT TRAP DOOR you're a fool if you dare! STAY AWAY FROM THAT TRAP DOOR cause there's something down there!

>wake up in cold sweat >sleepy succubi wife pouts >”what’s wrong, honey?” >”I had that dream again.” >”Where I’m not here?” >”Yeah…” >”Oh, Baby.” >She cradles you close to her chest. Her tail wraps around your ankle. >”It’ll be alright.” She yawns, “just let me take care of it.” >Straining her succubi magic, she enchants you both with a succubi’s sleeping spell >You drift off together, mind guarded from bad dreams by her incantation

>>129447 This, but dog.

>>129443 Yes but I wouldn't make it creepy, more like a bunker where they're workshops for our hobbies, a paris shroom growing plant, a hot bath, the dark room and a big celier

>>129447 >bapho wife had that dream about the old days again

>>129443 Ooh, ooh, I want mine in Nil geometry, the one where if you go through the corridors and take four left turns, you'll arrive above where you started without going up at all! I don't know why I'd need a basement in Nil geometry, but it would be cool to have one.

>>129445 Fortune has come to our family. You remember our modest house, cramped and uncomfortable? It is a sprawling beauty! I beg you - return home. Claim your birthright and meet your in-laws in the cozy, loving shadows of the Wifest Basement.

>>129452 Well gang, it's time to get in the Mystery Van!

>>129452 People say "Oh don't let the darkness envelop you". Have the ever thought that, maybe, the darkness is lonely and wants someone to cuddle?

>>129448 She sleep woofs.

>>129455 Cute!

Would you get a reduction on the coffee if you make your kot maid purr/chuff?

>>129458 >réduction If a kot maid takes a liking to you, you are going to end up taking her home. Or she's going to take you home. One or the other. Then you are getting free kot. She might not be kot maid all the time - she may only be a kot maid as an inbetween job. You will get free service at home from that point onward, but will need to buy your own coffee and milk. Also, you should be a good husband and provide service for her too. Don't be a lazy bum.

>>129460 We can take the kot home? Pamper them, brush them and love them for free?

>>129458 Every time I see that pic, I think about how she is the perfect amount of kot and how much I want to cuddle with a really, really big kot.

>>129461 It's mge. If she likes you, she may not want to stick around at a cafe to let other people pet and brush her. Maid cafes in mge would either have extremely high churn because maids keep leaving for husbands, or the maids are very restrained when interacting with people not their husband.

>>129463 >maids are very restrained Kinky

>>129463 I had a matchmaking thing in mind with the owner, the already married kot and their husband chaperoning the new kots >>129462 Yup, it's one of my favourite pictures for this reason. I try to not over spam it but it's hard

>Cheshire cat cafe maid >Surprisingly unchaotic >Cute >Her outfit is a great blend of wonderland crazy and maid dignified >"Would you care for some tea?" >You would care for some tea >Take lid off pot of sugar >Chesh ass

>>129466 How does she fit a whole ass into a tiny sugar pot?

>Go to Chesh Cat Cafe >See this What has this Chesh done to make all the other Cheshires react in this way?

>>129467 don't worry about it. >>129468 she's put her butt in things you people would not believe.

>>129468 Looking at her, probably kept eating all the desserts.

>>129468 Tricked Miss jinko into sitting on anon’s face.

>>129434 >Unexpected item in bagging area. >An attendant has been notified to assist you. Not worth it. >>129471 Isn't he satisfied? I would be.

>>129467 >look at tiny chesh ass sticking out of sugar pot >look at full size chesh standing in front of you >grab tiny chesh tail and pull >full size chesh gets pulled ass-first through the portal and disappears, leaving you with a tiny startled chesh dangling between your fingers

>>129473 She makes a satisfying pop noise when she gets pulled through. What will you do with the tiny chesh.

>chesh telebutt >it can change size to fit the container >from the tiniest thimble >to your garage door >chesh herself can use her portals to change size if she wants a ride in anons pocket >or wants to give anon a ride in her boobs

>>129445 Now I want to dig deeper and deeper

>>129468 Why didn't she just teleport out of this fix?..

>>129472 I wonder where Gremmy is planning to install that...

>>129423 How would her future husband see her thighs and ass if she would be wearing pants?

>>129475 Omg, if I had a mini Chesh I would take her with me at all times. I would also teach her to steal wallets.

>>129480 works ok for hatters

>>129475 Omg, if I had a tiny anon I would take him with me at all times. I’d keep him on my head and teach him how to pilot me by scritching my ears right at the base.

>>129484 In all fairness, hatter pants are something special, somehow both skintight and perfectly respectful and able to contain the fattest of asses and thickest of thighs without fear of tearing.

>>129477 Not so easy when she's dealing with other Cheshires.

>>129477 she is out of mana

>>129477 It's me or someone else already ask that?

>>129486 Hatter pants are a combination of skilled tailoring, mushroom material, wonderland nonsense and all the mana stored in her caboose. The spores she’s constantly emitting - stronger from her snatch and arse - also embed into the pants and let them hug her curves.

>A curious thing is that if men or monsters wear them they change into normal hats, made from felt or cloth. I am gonna get a cheshire or wock or some totally random monster to dress up like miss hatter. She'll be so confused. And then I am going to get miss hatter to dress up as another monster with a hat, only for her pants/shirt to burst because of her heavy mycelium boobs/ass.

>>129491 i do wonder about the max HPM (hats per minute) a hatter could generate

>>129492 I'll say it's 0.1 (10 minutes for 1 hat)

>>129492 do not ask hatter about the infinite hat glitch

>>129494 there is always a tinier hat underneath her hat

>>129427 This sphinx looks like she's going to present a riddle where the last line asks what "walks on four legs at night" >>129428 Lamia shopkeeper cute

do not steal hat

>>129496 >present a riddle where the last line asks what "walks on four legs at night" Sphinxes are so easily countered

>>129498 anon's not that hard to counter either

>>129499 GET LOAFED ON.

>>129499 i hope the answer to her riddle is motorboating noises or i'm fucked

>get riddle wrong >raped by sphinx >can't think of anything but sphinx butt >lose int >get riddle wrong >raped by sphinx >can't think of anything but sphinx butt >lose int >get riddle wrong >raped by sphinx >can't think of anything but sphinx butt >lose int >get riddle wrong >raped by sphinx >can't think of anything but sphinx butt >lose int

>>129502 I'm going to just go full Bilbo and cheat my way out of this

>>129502 for all its problems, i did like the int draining sphinx sequence from shrift sure you might know the answer to the easiest riddles of all time but you're too dumb to remember it

>>129504 It was the scene I was thinking of.

>>129505 >thinking The only thing you were thinking of were sphinx boobies. As it should be

>>129506 >Turns scary hero into silly putty So this is the power of int drain. She should tell her friends Miss Hellhound and Miss Anubis.

>>129507 the desert seems big on status effects sun: DoT desert: thirst >girtablilu/lamia/apophis: differing severities of toxic >anubis :cursed >lamia: charm >pharaoh: mind control >khepri: i'm not 100% what dark matter would do but you're getting some kind of status if it gets on you sphinx can have some int drain, as a treat

>>129508 This leaves the humble Mummy, who casts [ENTANGLED]

>>129508 as a treat. she can make anon a dum dum. as a treat. she can have some wonderland status effects. as a treat.

>>129508 can't be a status effect area with out the classic insta-kill enemy. >Basilisk

Since calling disgusting, horrible, irredeemable people monsters would be considered offensive after the portals open. What word will we call them instead?

>>129502 It's not fair, I just want to pet it

I love Miss Lich so much that I save all pictures of her. Even the two that put far too much attention on her feet.

>>129512 animals?

>>129513 It's very fair, because some of us want to pet and be raped.

>>129514 What's the story of the huffy lich with the cute bow in her hair?

>>129512 Jerkwads

>>129512 Asshole. Motherfucker. Piece of shit. Bastard. Plenty of options to choose from. Maybe blackguard could make a comeback?

>>129497 Don't be such a baby. Hats grow back.

>>129520 Mad Hatter giving you a hat to tell everyone you are hers

>>129520 >Don't be such a baby. Dicks grow back. Said the chesh, after detaching anon's penis to use as her personal portable dildo (also with quantum sensory link back to anon)

>>129517 Her test subject (husband) has made several nonsensical requests from her during this round of testing, just look at how she's ugh, dressed. The worst part is that his biomonitors show that the changes have been effective. Very effective, even.

>>129521 You will match hats.

>>129516 Riddle me this, riddle me that, how to pet without rape?

Mad hatter but instead of a top hat, it's a wide-brimmed hat like the one Lady Dimitrescu has.

Mad hatter but it's a fez

>>129526 What if Mad Hatter but she's wearing one of those Oddjob hats that you throw and there's razorblades in it and she cuts your suspenders and your pants fall down in public

>>129522 >I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again. >This happens all the time, it's detachable.

She reaches into her hat like a magician and pulls out the Wincheshter.

>>129527 Mad Hatter but it is a heavily sedated house cat

>>129531 That's not very mushroom of you.

>>129530 Do Wincheshter-made firearms teleport the bullets directly from your stash/ammo pouch directly into the magazine/chamber?

>>129526 Consider also: bonnets and ten gallon cowboy hats

>>129533 I won't be defeated by some shitty Lilim brat

>>129536 Spoiler, it's a demon. Spoiler, yes you will.

>>129537 Oh right the horns, they are all just blowjob handles for me so I didn't see it at first

We need more bratdom.

>>129533 I won't lose to a level 1 Demon brat. Yes I will still fuck her after winning.

>Get approached by homeless brat on streets >Take her home >Clean her up >Feed her >Fill out appropriate paperwork to legally adopt her >Never dick her >Find an adult monster mommy for her instead And that was how Anon acquired a daughter without changing a single diaper.

>>129542 But she's a mamono, she'll fall in love almost right away after that kindness. What about getting seduced by the sex demon you've adopted? What about making her your wife like she's wanted from the beginning? Oh the humanity, won't someone think of the children?

>>129542 Mamono wouldn't abandon their children, so an "abandoned child" is either putting on an act to get a husband or is thousands of years old and somehow still hasn't gotten her shit together. Either way you're getting raped.

>>129547 I did consider that. I wonder if mommy and daddy having an accident (to reincarnate elsewhere) would violate the "no bad endings" rule so long as the daughter is cared for eventually and all ends well. It could work, couldn't it?

>>129547 The child could get lost or separated somehow. Or dumb loli monsters going on an adventure and realizing they don't know how to get back their home town or something.

>>129542 How to have sex with both mother and daughter. MGE style.

>>129552 There are easier ways you know.

>>129553 No thanks.

Moths

>>129547 a lot of mamano children don't need much oversight. like a wurm is pretty much fire and forget; they'll be fine but also i don't like that, i want to be a present parent. it conflicts me

>>129539 it's tough being an oji-san

>>129556 >it conflicts me Why? Nothing's making (you) send your children off into the wilds. Even for weird exceptions like cursed swords and parasite slimes you have options. Don't focus on the bad parts of the setting, just let those be and think about how pleasant it would be to live your fantasy your way.

What's the easiest way to piss your favorite monster off?

>>129556 then be a present parent. If that's what you want, so it'll be. That's how mge works

>>129559 "i think we've got enough kids, lets use contraceptives"

>>129561 and then a bit later cheshy goes <magical contraceptives? nyahahah! I can't believe you fell for that!

>>129559 <Hayyy'yoooo- <"Honey, what did you say?" <Hayyy'yaaaa- <"Darling, what is it?!" <Hayyy'sss-salt fight! >"NYOOOOO!!!"

I am going to play ticket to ride and fuck over a monster girl by blocking her route. Probably an Anubis. Maybe another monster that likes board games. Not cats. Cats flip board games. A lich or a Cupid perhaps.

I'm going to offer a ticket to ride to the first monster girl who gives me any attention.

>>129558 >sending your children off into the wilds >MGE works on the Pokemon world's logic

>>129567 Okay, that actually makes a lot of sense.

>>129567 if anyone needs me i'll be in the tall grass

Right now I feel like I'm so retarded that a Wurm would immediately notice I'm dumber than her and the only reason she wouldn't bully me about it is because she's not mean.

Call me Romulus or Remus because I'm craving some big fat wolf titties

>>129571 Amazing how a pair of titties in the right place, at the right moment gave birth to the peak of western civilization

Hello. Don't let pigs cum inside your urethra. Not only they fill up your bladder with cum quick, they secrete gel like substance at the end of ejaculation to prevent semen from leaking out, which effectively seals up your way to pee for days. A visit to ER is almost guaranteed.

>>129574 >1 week later >she's still wearing the ribbon >she'll never admit it but she likes it

>>129575 I think Miss Lich could be a VERY CUTE magical girl.

>>129173 >>129174

>>129577 ao3 may be down but i guess i can scribble down a little something and save it for later

I do not like this dog her smug aura mocks me

>>129574 >>129575 >>129576

>>129472 >>129478

>>129433 >>129438

Damn good to see LN is on a roll

>>129584 Got any car batteries for sale?

>>129577 Let's get down to business to draw tight buns!

How tall is too tall

FRIENDly cats

>>129582 What does she see on that piece of paper? What art had been wrought for her pleasure?

>>129589 hmmm, nyaggers

>>129589 She looks friendly and milky

>>129591 I'm biased but if she's a kot, it's ok

>>129594 Wow. Why must small succubi heckle like that? What is her problem? I would never do that. If I were a small anon on the shoulder of a succubus, I would say constructive things.

>>129595 What do you mean? That's plenty constructive, she's quick and direct.

>>129596 I think he should work on his fundamentals, and not add more phalluses to his landscape of a mountain lake. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe that’s why she’s art succ and I’m not.

>>129595 >Anon becomes Tiny Anon >Placed on succ shoulder >Spends all day staring at her cleavage Not helping, bro

>>129598 You could appreciate her horns or her ears too! Or you could ezio leap of faith into her tits while she’s not moving.

>>129588 As a rule of thumb, I'd say any bigger than Lady Dimitrescu from RE Village.

>>129588 3m of fox seems like a good amount

>>129604 I don't know, that seems like a little too much fox for a single man to handle.

>>129605 those classes on professional wrestling she took will help her sell anon overpowering her

>>129588 No upper bound.

traditionally small monster becomes taller than anon. what do you do?

>>129608 sex probably

>>129608 This is the Grem’nd goal.

>>129608 Clothing entrapment in tall gremlins sweaty boiler suit.

Twerk contest between hatter and wight, who's winning?

awoooooooooooooo

>>129612 SHOG

>>129613 finally, the fashionable wearwolf

It's ass talk today, I see.

>>129577 >>129581 >>129582 >>129583 >>129584 Looks like someone's artfairy is eating good That Lich is pretty fashionable for a Lich

>>129612 The audience. As for the actual answer, while Miss Hatter has the bigger ass of the two, Miss Wight has the better technique and thus most likely the winner.

>>129618 She has studied social trends extensively. She might even be aware of such concepts as "pleasant smalltalk" and "collecting objects of a specific type for comparison with other collection of objects of the same type"

>>129616 I fully believe that any Wonderland girl (especially cheshires) would unironically refer to their huge ass as a wobble wagon.

>>129612 >>129619 Wights wouldn't participate in crass low class rubbish like that, maybe Hatters too, but the latter are crazy so who knows about them.

>>129622 Don't let their refined behavior fool you, both Hatter and Wight are mamono; if the urge strikes them, they will happily engage in all manner of debauchery as casually as you washing your hands. Also, remember that every Wight was a common as dirt zombie as some point, so she's much more in touch with her unrefined side than you might expect.

>>129623 >(all) mamono [...] will happily engage in all manner of debauchery as casually as you washing your hands >every Wight was a common as dirt zombie as some point Both of these statements are just objectively wrong

>>129621 Mad Hatters and Trumparts would say it without blinking an eye, Cheshires would say it but with tongue in cheek. Jabberwocks, though? They're dragons, so while I could see them say it it'd probably be with a tremendous blush on their face.

>>129625 Jabberwocks pride themselves on being the lewdest in the lands. They'd likely always try to find more and more raunchy ways to say things

Don’t forget. Succubus can use sex.

>>129627 You just got to escalate to the sexular option before the succ can.

>>129628 I’m sorry. This is like trying to beat a fish in a swimming competition. You can’t outsex the succ, man.

>>129626 Maybe, but I think the use of the term 'wobble wagon' is a bit too silly for even them; they do have a sense of very real pride, Wonderlander or no.

>>129630 Not the succ.

>>129630 I bet I can outswim miss merrow.

>>129619 Why does Wonderland have such a high concentration of huge asses, anyway? Is there something in the water supply? Has Miss Hatter been sneaking something into the pastries that are served at all the tea parties? Ass lovers everywhere deserve to know.

>>129631 Counterpoint: Mamono will do what they think is necessary to get a guy hard and if a monstergirl with a giant, bouncy ass comes up to me and starts talking about her wobble wagon/twerkmeat, I will immediately get so erect that my pants will spontaneously scream in pain and beg for mercy because of how much the crotch seams are getting stretched out.

>>129613 Deadlock on her tits

So you go through the portals, suddenly you get adopted by a new mom and in less than a year you become a father, it's that easy But if I make a daughter with a momster does that mean that she's also the grandma of her own daughter? am I also the grandpa of my daughtersister since I'm also married to her grandmamother?

>>129637 That only happens when you run into a hag, specially when the other side of the portal happens to be in the middle of Hagville

>Beast. I shall not be denied my bounty. I will kill you and take your horns as a trophy <Aww, looks like SOMEONE is getting hangry >B-beast. I shall not be... be denied my bounty. I will kill you and... and... and... <Whose an cute little mercenary. You are. Yes you are! >Beast... stop it. Stop it. <mmm nope

>>129640 Go into the labyrinth they said Become a big hero they said

>>129642 Helping the minotaur escape might not be a big act of heroism but it still means a lot to her.

>>129643 And it would be rude to break the walls because someone put a lot of hard work into building them Or raising them, if it's a hedge maze

>>129642 If you say you wanna be a hero, fate laughs in your face as the monsters lick their lips

>just wanted to smoke some weed >the weed is monster now

>>129646 Should've found a better plug (like a wonderworm) rather than trying to grow by yourself. Now your Doritos bill is going to triple.

>>129646 Should have just hit the pipe with your aunt

>>129637 I would enjoy days with my mom and auntie

>>129645 >set out to topple the evil overlord >end up giving her an heir instead >she could not be smugger about it

>>129637 Family tumbleweed > family tree

>>129651 It's more of a family stump at this point.

>>129650 It works out in the long run if you raise your daughter to be a benevolent queen when she takes the throne.

>>129653 This is how it's done. >Foxes' faces when you successfully corrupt a monster's entire bloodline with modern good energy

>>129637 >Escher's family tree

>>129650 I don't care about her evilness, I want to be on top in bed, that's all