>>86982 <Eternal life? No thanks, that sounds lonely. I'll just make the most of what I have. >Oh, how wise of you... >Well, see you in a century or two.

Yay it's Friday! Last day of the working week, do your best today at work and then spend a wonderful weekend with your auntster draining your stress and fatigue

>>87040 Her bien a cat enjoyer would make me love her, sad that it's a secret

It's only a birthday. You know, in wonderland, they celebrate the other 364 days of the year.

>>87054 Ogres may have layers, but they aren't very good at hiding them (sometimes).

>>87053 Sorry auntie but I'm on vacations, come back next month

>>87046 Hermit crab butt

>>87058 That's wonderful! Now you can take a vacation with your auntster and that's even better since they look great in a swimsuit, and they can please you at every chance and way you want, some can even cover the costs Pregnancy happening during the trip is covered too

>>87053 She will have to drain so much more than my stress, if you catch my drift

>>87051 oh shit it's candleg

>>87063 brain drain?

>>87061 silent shroom

>>87062 A sexy Eldritch auntster would be the best for traveling, just imagine all the places we could visit with her portals for free

>>87062 Strong zero, my beloved

>>87067 >just imagine all the places we could visit with her portals for free Like her bedroom

>>87062 Old women in swimsuits that don't fit erotic

>>87071 If we're talking hags, I'd rather she be matronly and dignified with a nearly magical ability to press my buttons anyway.

>>87064 thats not how that meme works at all, you needto fully say Candlejane's name before she t

>>87073 Haha, what a sucker. But it is nice of Candlejane to finish sending the post even if she doesn't actually type it to the e

>>87075 >After several nights of furious fox fucking, get upgraded to a better room >It's just the bedroom of the detached owner's cottage >At least your bed is always warm

>>87071 >swimsuits that don't fit That's the best part, easier to slip away

>>87077 >when the nipples get so erect that she can't pull the bikini down again Delicious

>>87076 I would go to the nekomata ryokan first (and for life), maybe the fox's one later as honey moon trip

>>87078 Is she going to use the ol' "they won't go down until I orgasm" trick again?

The sushi, sashimis and other sea food prepared by the nekomata maidens must be to kill for

>>87081 Why do cats like fish so much? They don't like getting wet so it's not like fish are their natural prey Except for Ocelomeh, who will hunt in rivers, I guess

>>87081 If it makes it to your table. They say you can't trust a skinny chef, you surely can't trust a skinny kot sushi chef. >>87082 Only house cats don't like getting wet (probably due to size, they get cold more easily), big cats seem to love it. Sadly, this means that water can't be used to escape jinko, but they also won't follow you too far up a tree because they're smart enough to know they won't be able to get down and there's no fire department to save them in the jungle.

>>87083 Fit nekomat sushi chef that's also have a job as a bodyguard in the local mafia

>>87082 >They don't like getting wet so it's not like fish are their natural prey I dont know where this came from. Most cats are perfectly fine with swimming and baths. Cats will also catch fish in shallow waters

>>87083 >won't follow you too far up a tree because they're smart enough to know they won't be able to get down >foolishly climb a tree to escape jinko >jinko foolishly follows you all the way up >she gets you, but then you both realize you can't get down and you're stuck >have to wait until another jinko comes by and provides rescue

>>87086 On the bright side (for her), she's got something to do until the rescue arrives.

>>87086 Tigger in Winnie the Pooh once got down from a tree by asking the narrator for help and he tilted the page so Tigger could climb down I'm not sure how this would apply with the Jinko situation but it's the only idea I've got

>>87087 I dunno, getting caught in a tree is the shivering kind of fear, not the fearboner (or whatever the female equivalent is) kind of fear. The fire tigers would probably just wrap the two of you up in the tarp they used to catch your dumb asses so you can relieve your stress with each other.

>>87087 Dunno, there's a pretty high chance she's gonna break the branch you're sitting on.

>>87090 Luckily cats always land on their feet

>>87088 Jinko gets her Bogie friend to come and help.

>>87090 >MGC hospital gets their first case of a mamono that got her pelvis broken due to sex

>>87089 Just gave myself an idea. >Fire tiger >A jinko raised by hinezumi

>>87094 W O U L D

Sudden violent berserker rage rape with mild-mannered ocelomeh wife who you haven't seen in such a frenzy since you married her years ago and she put that lifestyle behind her don't you know

>>87096 >cat sees cup on table That cup is in danger

>>87095 A warrior-poet with flaming fists does sound crazy hot. Pun not intended.

hmmmmm > anilingus, akaname anilingus, analyzing anons arse and armpits, annoyed anon abstained from any and all showers for an all akaname able to eat buffet

>>87099 This thought process but it's me with a horc/ogre/hellhound

>>87099 Alliterative account about Anon's and Akaname's ablution.

>>87101 >accepting akaname`s alure allows anons abaited aspiraton aspiring about akaname`s assault

The cool ghoul's pool fool

>>87103 Imagine getting a blowjob while she's underwater. She wouldn't even need to come up to breathe.

>>87104 Salty mershark ghoul hybrids who crave warmth, blood and cuddles

Ratatorkr's ruse required restraint; regardless, rodent readily reached results.

Woe to you, oh earth and sea. For the demon lord sends the sheep with wrath, because she knows that humanity has gone too far. Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the sheep, for it is an evil mammal. It's number is 666.

>>87108 >Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the sheep I made it to about 80 and fell asleep. Are they still jumping over that fence?

>>87109 Yes, and when the six hundred and sixty sixth sheep jumps over the fence, SHE will return.

>>87108 What's she going to do, headbutt someone? Offer a lap pillow?

>>87112 Oh, I assure you, she is a woolly satan. Evil. Wicked. Sin made fluff. You won’t be laughing.

>>87113 >anon is snoring instead

>>87114 you are not safe in dreamland. not even in your wildest dreams. as they say... you snooze... *evil sheep mwahahaha* you lose

>>87116 I want a nightmare to molest me in my dreams. I want to return the favor when I'm awake.

>>87112 She can make you sleep with her against your will

>>87039 Oh, no, a beeg kuudere mamono with MASSIVE gap moe! My only weakness!

>>87072 Ara ara~ style auntsters are fine too

>>87121 omg, BOOB VEINS... my one weakness!

>>87122 Combined with those slight wrinkles at the top of her cleavage? Magical. It's weird because those things paired would look bad in real life. I guess just the hint of them is alright.

>>87123 Nah, IRL boob veins are hot and IRL 'uge boobs get wrinks and stretch marks. It's just natural, baby.

>>87096 >>87097 Hey, kitty, can I be ur cup? I want to be in DANGER

>>87125 >Spoiler Nickname her Danger and your wish will be granted nightly. Often while you're trying to to sleep.

>>87126 Lotta cats go by their middle name.

Ocelomeh berserker rage is cute. lol kitty mad haha did you get a hair ball huh cute kitty pspspspsps-wait sto-

>>87128 Ahah cute kitty go boop boop on the nose

>>87123 >those slight wrinkles at the top of her cleavage I thought it was just a hint of color like the subtle blush on her cheeks, but it works either way.

>>87121 Old monster erotic

The fuck they do in wonderland parliament. I thought they had a queen.

>>87132 Officially, they debate and enact Wonderlandish legislature. In practice, they hold expensive tea parties and talk nonsense. Behind closed doors, it's essentially Fight Club and participants fight on behalf of their preferred football club.

>>87133 Lavish hoity toity tea parties in the house of uncommons

>>87134 That's only until the reporters leave the room because there's only so long you can cover a tea party, even a Wonderland one, before it gets boring. Once the last cameras leave, they lock the doors and then Miss Jub is calling Miss Wock a "dark-skinned coont an' yer Southwoods club is fackin' RUBBISH", followed by an attempted aerial drop kick.

April Showers bring HORNY BUGS.

I wish we talked about plants. Or even sea monsters. Or even sea plant monsters.

>>87137 Flow kelps are cute. Not my thing, since I have a POWERFUL fear of drowning. But I appreciate her cuteness.

>>87137 amoebas though

>>87139 What's the difference between an amoeba and a slime?

>>87140 Amoebas are single cells. Slimes are multiple cells, especially crime slimes, who occupy many cells at once.

>>87140 some of the protoplasms are meatier, like ms shog

>>87141 >>87142 I'm sorry, but the answer we were looking for is "amoebas are moe; it's in the middle of the name."

>>87137 I don't have any pics myself, but... maybe... TRIANGLE TOOTHED LADIES WITH DRILL HAIR ARE SEXY SEXY SEXY

>>87144 I want to head pat a claustro so bad but she’ll probably just chomp me.

>>87145 if you're quick it should be fine

>>87144 >>87145 Getting on my knees and begging Miss Claustro to put on a pair of mechanic's overalls and pretend to know something about steam engines and black powder because goblins in her world aren't anywhere near green or shortstacky enough!

it's a lot easier being green than they say it is

>>87147 She’s going to have a brat meltdown and call you a moron and an idiot and a baka. You need to be careful with claustros. They can be set off by the slightest thing, just like actual flytraps.

hmmm fellatio-centric mamono based off a black hole

>>87144 I wanted to be funny and combed through the Gazer gallery to find one with drill hair and failed, but I saw this and thought it was cute.

>>87151 I think you are mistaken, Anon. This is a KOT.

>>87121 I want to make them give birth to my children

>>87151 her eye stalks look like I could shake them for a magic 8 ball answer

>>87154 Same, except for the black one I don't want brown daughters

Boy, a lot of the claustro art has nudity.

>>87157 plants don't wear clothes. that'd just be silly

>>87158 The ideal monster girl is wearing OL clothing that is at least 2 sizes too small.

>>87148 Literally just photosynthesize, LMAO.

>>87160 Your MOM just photosynthesizes.

>>87150 Best I can do is a Ghoul in a spacesuit who makes Interstellar references

>>87162 How about a Cheshire in an RV who makes Spaceballs references?

>>87159 well, yeah i also rank habits and dirndls at the same level

>>87164 need hebi in a habit

>>87165 Best I can do is a blamia in a habit. You can pretend she's a melanistic hebi if you want!

>>87164 >dirndls Cultured.

>>87159 I agree

>>87165 the humble church snek

>>87170 In the last pic, is the snek tiny, or are the candles BEEEEEEEEG?

>>87171 Fire doesn't scale with candle size like that, it's either a smol snake or someone made pyrotechnics for that shot.

>>87172 Well, I hope it's the latter because I am only a little weak to pyrotechnics but completely defenseless against SNEKS.

>>87172 pyrotechnics are 33% of the church budget as a conservative estimate

>>87174 this is why they accept donations of chlorates and nitrates as well as brownies and monies for those that are poor or can't bake

Good night, Anons. Eat baked potatoes until you get sick.

>>87168 Puffy

>>87170 >A snake in the church? That must be difficult. Isn't there a snake in your holy text that deceives primordial man into indulging in mortal pleasures? <Yes, that's exactly what happened! Here, it's in chapter 2. Let's read it together, shall we?

>>87085 >Most cats are perfectly fine with swimming and baths small cats aren't, low body mass/volume to surface area ratio means their fur getting soaked can freeze them to death Big cats obviously don't have this problem because >big >live in hot ass jungles and grasslands Instead their problems with water are purely crocodile related

>>87179 They also don't like the loudness of the hair dryers (plural!) needed to dry off effectively.

>>87172 fire also doesn't normally turn blue from white candlewax

>>87181 That's just BURNING LOVE. Nothing out of the ordinary.

>>87182 W-what's in the candles, Hebi?

>>87157 nooooo, not the naked titty in my heckin' wholesome all-ages smut book series!

>>87170 snake 2 and 4 have been hitting the communion mice heavy, huh? cute white bellies

I want to get affectionately smothered, manhandled and treated like a living plushie by a big very drunk oni.

>>87186 We only have very big drunk onis in stock. Or big drunk very onis, if you want those.

>sheep bursts into the local tavern >clad in a big (small) suit of armour, wool bursting from the joints >declares this town is now part of her new evil overlordsheep >everyone just fawns of how cute she is >give her a free cup of hot chocolate >cries herself to sleep that night

>>87188 Should've painted her wool black. Everyone respects a black sheep.

I wish I would die on the spot and get revived by a cute lich far from this hellhole.

I crave the fruity donuts

>>87189 that would cost a fortune in wool dye anon, and she already spent most of her part time job money on her armour, its genuine dragon forged plate

>anon hasn't been going to church lately, but he's falling into harder times, so he thinks it might be a good idea to visit >the stained glass has had all its dust polished off >the tapestries look like fresh linen >the pews have been touched up, though some of them have big holes in them >the statues have been repainted, only someone detailed fishnets or fish scales or something onto the skin >takes a seat in the pews next to a hole >begin to pray >hear the sound of... curtains being drawn >the priestess appears behind the lectern >"Welcome home, Anon. It's been a while." >mumbles apology >"Not to worry. You've come at a good time. The gods have been answering lately." >"I'll not interrupt your prayer any longer. Only, be careful what you wish for." >closes his eyes and tries to reach out >hi god, it's me, i bet you've been wondering where i've been lately, well... >the pew creaks >peeps a look >the priestess has set next to him with her hands folded in her lap >her vestments drape over the edge of the seat, but her legs aren't underneath them. sitting on one's knees is a bit odd for a priestess >"We owe our fortune to a new style of prayer. It pleases the gods." >"Would you like to please the gods?" >"It is a careful thing, but under my guidance and communion with the divine, you may please them through me." >the tip of her tail crawls down his shoulder and curls around his neck >"The gods will hear us."

What would be more romantic than to die for your future wife, trying to save her from a great danger

>>87195 thats why I cast [TOTAL OBLITERATION] (teleport) on the guy in adventuring couples, even make sure to leave his boots behind, gets them every time

>>87179 My problems with water are also crocodile related. No matter how many times I go in the water, I don't get grabbed by a big crocodile girl.

>>87196 But they can't be revived if you do that

>>87198 I don't think anyone's dying from a teleport anon

>>87199 I think it's a very deadly spell if the destination is random, getting teleport in a rock is nasty.

>>87199 Easy to say when you're wearing the long-fall boots.

>>87184 I'm a simple creature, Anon. I want triangle-toothed big-boobed Office Ladies with drill hair to bite me TO DEATH while their ripped pencil skirts mostly hide the proof they're riding my shamefully small baloney pony.

>>87204 >thats a wonderfully wish anon >My wish is to hire a bunch of elves and force them to do maid things for me, also sex(pic related)

>>87131 Lag holer

>>87205 OK, but what if those maids had TRIANGLE TEETH and were BITEY? Left one looks like she's a little bitey as-is, honestly.

>>87194 I don't even believe in the gods but if snek says so...

>>87207 Its my wish and my want, you should go be force fucked by angry mersharks

>>87209 >Anon keeps trying to get the mersharks to wear office lady outfits >They're not into it >Tell him he should get a sahaug if he needs cosplay that badly >Anon goes into explanation about the difference between OL and loli schoolgirl swimsuits >By the time he is done one of the mersharks has left, found a sahaug, brought her back to take her place, and the sahaug has ALSO fucked off >All that's left is a flow kelp staring kuu'ly off into the middle distance.

>>87210 Possible solution: put the flow kelp in a suit and give her mershark dentures

>>87210 >anon wants sharp teeth >anon doesn't go to a vampire >is anon stupid?

>>87212 >>is anon stupid? The answer, sadly, is yes.

not easy to work at Ryuu's shrine as a recent monsterised hebi

>>87212 Sharp teeth != triangle teeth ALTHOUGH a vampire plant is fine too.

>>87193 where does she work?

Would a worm with drill hair burrow even faster?

wurms only sometimes burrow new holes. they also use so called wurmways, wurmroads and interwurms which are routes of soft dirt, caverns and are generally fast to traverse.

>>87218 A mysterious fast travel mechanism

>>87216 the woolie maiden cafe, please do not visit or bring it up, she's terribly embarrassed

>>87219 It is mysterious to only those who do not wurm. Ask the wurms at the local haberdashery, ice cream parlour or counting house. They will tell all.

>>87218 Personally, i prefer the dwarfen underways

>>87221 I would love to be at an ice cream parlour with Miss Wurm. I wonder what her favorite flavor is? Mine's peanut butter chocolate. in b4 "Rocky Road!"

>want to break into Big Mama's wine cellar >need to sneak past the wurm guard >find a shovel and start digging >guard comes over to investigate <"watcha doin?" "digging" <"how deep?" "Pretty deep, might need some help. You any good at digging?" <"sure!" >guard starts digging and disappears into the hole >you have to steal the wine and get out very quickly >it'll take her a few minutes to realize she's been tricked but you need to be long gone by the time she figures it out

>>87224 Straight to jail.

>>87224 I would never manipulate a wurm, that's mean

>>87226 I might hang up a carrot from a piece of string over her head and see if I can ride her from place to place by doing that Be adviced: wurms have hands and this is very unlikely to work

>>87228 >wurms have hands So use a really long stick.

>>87228 >>87229 Not sure this will work, Anon.

>>87230 It looks to be operating as intended for no- >she's flying DANGER

>>87231 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8H-vjbD-JU

>>87232 Beetles really are the coolest bug, and by virtue of this they should also be best girl

Well Druella you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.

>>87233 Coolest bug is spooders

>>87186 This but gentle loving sex with extremely drunk horny Oni auntie, the kind of sex that has lots of caressing, kissing, handholding and making out making her ovulate so hard that she gets pregnant with twins

waking up next to pixie but the shrinking magic has worn off and you're back at full size

>>87214 do shrines really need that much sweeping?

>>87239 Shrines are mostly outdoors. There's always something outdoors that needs to be swept away.

>>87240 >>87239 The WHORES who are after hubby have a devious plan to THROW DUST AND GRIME AND MUCK all around the shrine so FAITHFULHEBI is kept busy while the WHORES make advances on hubby.

>>87239 They have to First impression of their future husbands are important after all

>>87238 >waking up on top of a pixie but the shrinking magic has worn off and you're back at full size I'm a rotisserie sleeper, this will be problematic.

>>87238 This is why Fairies are superior, they can take the full body stretching, complete girth

>>87241 I see the local ryuu has realized how batshit crazy her shrine maidens are and has bent their insanity to good use. How does she get the to cook though? Or maybe more importantly, how does she get them to stop cooking?

>>87238 >Shrunk sleeping with pixie wife and between giant breasts of other wife

Daydrinking with nekomatas, hidden behind the shrine, between their shifts

>>87250 But isn't that debauchery?

>>87251 It's ok in Zipangu, they like to drink and it brings happiness or prosperity or something

>>87240 they got magic; i don't buy it they're up to something

>>87253 The last pic looks very calm and cosy. I should consider fox more often

>>87241 >>87242 The duality of hebi

>>87253 I need pictures of foxes getting boobmogged.

>>87195 >What would be more romantic than to die for your future wife Actually surviving and getting to live a happy fulfilling life with her.

>>87246 >getting sentenced to titty jail for spreading rumors about the fairy queen's advisor

>>87257 You can still get that as an undead

>>87253 Shrine hags are the best, not sure if they qualify as maidens though

>>87257 <Frustrated phantom director throws her script on the ground <"You don't get it! The tragedy makes it more romantic! You get better anyway!

>>87251 More like bestbauchery

>>87258 >Sentenced to a maximum security prison >Aka, anon is between shrank between the breasts of one of the monsters in this picture >And it isn't the titania.

>>87263 But only one monster in that picture has breasts...

>>87253 The blonde fox in the second image is the best

>>87264 she is trying

>>87256 can't beat the cow

>>87265 Fourth image fox for me. A controversial opinion, I know.

>>87259 >>87261 >the Demon Lord herself introduces you to a dragon zombie who she says is an old friend, or at least what's left of her >"She doesn't remember it now, but she sacrificed everything to get us here. I would have died if not for her."

>>87269 That'll sure make me want to pay attention to a girl.

>>87270 she is rather demure and easy to overlook

>>87269 >>87270 the big lady stopped fucking her man to introduce her she must be a big deal

>>87272 Also, when the demon lord herself is playing matchmaker for you, you drop your pants and listen. >>87271 Bet there's tons of depth to her personality once you get some mana in her, too.

>>87267 touch the cow! do it now!

i think my cow is glitched or something

>>87275 >i will love a nursing handjob

>>87276 surely not from a mino. she's all strong and has like, scarred or caloused hands or something. nobody should or would ever love a working cow like that.

>>87275 Looks like a very well behaved cow to me.

>>87277 imagine using mino milk for the handjob lubricant

>>87275 That's the cow from the closed beta. She's still in the game files but we don't talk about her anymore. Not since Red Tuesday.

>>87280 does she lactate red bull?

>>87280 I think we should look to include her going forward. she just a little silly that's all. a little brown silly moo. that's all. give her another chance.

>>87269 That would be perfect if I died for someone else

It's Caturday!

total cat, cow, fox, elf and hag silence

>>87285 i will not adhere to your reptilian agenda

>>87285 dragons are in!

>>87287 nay, the time of the fish is upon us!

>>87284 Let's gooooooo, we love cat, we love cat,.we.love cat we love cat

I don't have time for a monster wife. I'm too busy playing the latest release of my favorite children's card game

>>87289 I love that cat, who's also a bat. >>87290 What if a monster that's your type challenges you to win your hand in Children's Card Game battle?

>>87290 You know who to play it with.

>>87286 Shirohebi is far from the average reptile. You look at your lamias and your lizardmen and you wonder how they are even related to crazysnek

>>87285 they don't need words to command

>>87291 >What if a monster that's your type challenges you to win your hand in Children's Card Game battle? I win and get a free kot, even a bat kot

>>87289 Some kots are sad.

>>87291 Making a man pick between a cute wife and losing nerd reputation for losing to a girl is cruel >>87292 I don't like playing shadow games though

>>87285 Impossible when hags are in demand and low in supply

>>87296 She's a succubus. Now I know she has cat ears but you must understand that she is, in fact a succ. do not let the cat ears decieve you. she is a succ. i know you see cat ears and normally would assume kot, but she is, in fact, a kot. for more evidence, see the wings and the horns and the pointy ears on the side of her head. that is 3 points towards being a succ, and only 1 point to being a kot.

>>87294 then we must hide the cows. >>87298 then we must increase hag supply... somehow.

>>87299 Batkots are kots and they have wings. And she told me that she has horns because she is horny and the ears are better to hear me with. Also, I don't think a kot would lie about being a kot.

>>87301 b-but, but, but... the headband. she's a succ! I'm not crazy! I can prove it i swear!

>>87299 She has a cute tail, cats have tails. She also moves with catlike grace, and responds well to headpats. Evidence leans towards kot.

>>87298 >hags are in demand and low in supply That's a lie, do not believe those lies! There's a reason why Hagville exists! Do not believe the danuki lies

>>87304 OK, no. I have demanded a hag for MANY YEARS, and no one has supplied me with one. So I think there really is a shortage of them.

>>87296 That's not a cat

>>87306 Everything can be a cat if you believe strong enough.

>>87288 the time of the fish dragon?

>>87293 That's the thing Hebis are one of the kind

>>87308 And I thought mermaid knees were upsetting.

>>87285 I like all of those things and encourage them to be LOUD AND PROUD about who they are so I can find one of them, but I really do find the things that unfortunately get tagged onto hagdom very annoying >>87306 everything on this planet is either a cat or a dog everything succubi are definitely cats

>>87311 >I really do find the things that unfortunately get tagged onto hagdom very annoying Like what? >>87311 >succubi are definitely cats Based if true.

>>87312 >like what? incest/babyplay "mommy milkies" stuff is grating and woefully common, finding domestic older woman content that doesn't involve it is getting more and more rare, and you basically can't discuss older anime woman in a fetish sense without people drowning it in milk and incestuous relationships. I find it very offputting so I mostly just don't take part in hagposting and it is true. succubi are cats

>>87313 Anon is lactose intolerant.

>>87313 >domestic older woman content How about FERAL older woman content?

>>87314 absolutely not. I drink milk every day actually (with my coffee) >>87315 that is also very good but is rather rare

luckily I drink tea instead of coffee so im safe from the cow

>>87317 milk tea is also pretty good man

I am THIRSTY. I require your biggest cows. Or strongest cows, that works too.

>>87320 calcium

>>87320 USHI COW IS HERE FOR YOU.

>>87320 The pre-milking hugs helps stimulate COW chemicals and makes the milk better. The post-milking hugs help soothe the COW and makes future milk better.

>>87323 Just admit you want to hug your cow, Anon.

>>87324 I don't need excuses to hug my mino for several reasons. 1.I like hugging her. 2. the mino is the hugger, she is the initiator of the hugs, she hugs regardless of my reasoning. 2.5. I still hug her voluntariliy I'm just saying that if I withdrew my hugs she'd still hug me. 3why should we not boast about the dozens of benefits to regularly hugging your mino? It makes you smarter. It makes you stronger. It makes you more handsome. It reduces the chance of catching the bubonic plague. It is good for your mental health. It is wonderful for milk product. I could go on.

>>87313 Blood related incest is so much better, making monster relatives with monster relatives is the best

>>87324 I like to hug my cow too

>>87285 >elf They can go fuck off. Cows are alright tho

>>87328 an elf is fine too

>>87196 this guy villains

>>87329 If they're not canon MGE elves, then they might be ok. Elves range practically anywhere from wholesome to plain lewd and sexy to snobby haughty ass uppity bitches, and the MGE ones are in the latter category. That, or they're overly-femdom oriented dark elves that screw their fathers before going out on a husband hunt.

>>87325 Man, now I want to hug a beeg Ushi.

>>87331 >screw their fathers before going out on a husband hunt. they do not do this, please read the books.

>>87333 NTA, but reading is for FAGGOTS and true patriotic Americans only read Truth Social posts and catturd2.

PATriot

>>87333 Actually, they do.

>>87336 Is that the old Brolen translation? It's missing KC's watermark.

>>87337 Yes, it's the Broly translation.

>>87299 It's an alp, cringe

>>87337 The same kind of thing was being said on the MGEwiki too. At least while they were on Miraheze. This argument reminds me a lot of the faggotry from Smug where overly zealous fags attribute all the nasty shit in MGE to "mistranslations". Dark elf profile is old so there's no problem with admitting it's written like shit, there's a lot of old MGE profiles which contain heresy, take Golem, the bees, lesser succubi etc.

>>87336 That is obviously a bad translation. If you look at other books this is obvious. The sabbath grinore explicitly says "Due to the nature of monsters, I've never heard of even a single case like this"

>>87340 >the bees The only good bee is a BIG BEE. I know that Bumble Bee is probably not a thing KC would do, but that's my ideal bee. >Thick >Solitary >Makes her own home >Still makes honey >Large bee boobs that somehow honey comes out of so shut up it's not her barf it's bee boob juice.

>>87341 I don't really give a shit about "bad translation" excuses and I don't want to play 1984 with you guys. The profile says this, it used to say this on the wiki at least until migration, and the admin of the new wiki has isolated it from all Tor/VPN users by installing his Cloudflare turnstile so I can't see if they have fixed this. If this is really the issue of a shitty translation, then get a new one, though I doubt it's "bad translation" since Delves fucking fathers thing lasted at least until the beginning of 2025. Then again this profile's name is Darkelf_eng2 which kind of implies that there was an eng1 (supposedly the old translation you all are talking about?) Bottom line, the "bad translation" excuse is pathetic, there's a profile which says they do that, and you guys don't seem to have fixed that for so long.

>>87342 Bumblebee sounds just fat, also I think there are some other solitary bee and wasp types. What about tarantula hawk wasp?

>>87344 >What about tarantula hawk wasp? Too lewd. She's like the bicorn of wasps, but just for arachne.

Would you a vulture bee?

>>87346 100% for shizzle I would. But that is because I would expect her to be AGGRESSIVE.

>>87345 >the bicorn of wasps She sounds amazing. She doesn't have a huge horse ass and she can get me together with a tarantula? Also she has a giant fucking stinger and it hurts like fuck when used on somebody. She is absolutely badass.

>>87340 >>87341 >>87343 Uh, old does not always necessarily equal bad. The Brolen translations were what the english side of the fandom got until MGU shit the bed, if that says anything about how old it actually is. As it stands, the father incest thing is on the current wiki, while "familial" incest is what is in the print edition. If you want to take it as gospel, or refer to the wandering scholar as an in-universe unreliable narrator, that's your decision ultimately. I still like Dark Elves, but I treat the incest thing more of a bad taste joke when I write anything featuring them.

>Wandering scholar? >Man, Fuck that guy! some horny artfairy at some point

>>87348 My headcanon is VERY LEWD, but it's that the tarantula hawk wasp implants her babies into the arachne and the arachne is INTO IT. SEXUALLY. It's a little ovipository, too. Because bug-on-bug sex is fuckin' hot. But IRL I would be better off with one lady, not a pair of them. I am an emotional cripple and couldn't do a harem.

>>87349 Aside from fucking their own fathers, dark elves are just too femdom. There are good elves out there, dark and regular, but MGE ones just don't hit the mark right.

>>87351 That's your taste, man. I'd like several wives. Especially with the MGE magic and stuff. If it can flip off laws of thermodynamics, I'm sure the inconveniences associated with many wives can be fixed, too.

>>87349 I don't speak Nihongo, so I'm in no position to weigh in one way or the other. The way I see it, the "education" is supposed to be limited to watching her parents go at it, and those that do get involved directly stay in the family, so to speak. >>87350 Canon probably.

SEX SEX WITH CUTE FAIRIES

I tried looking for a picture of mature tanuki dancing, but I found this small one instead that's too cute not to share.

>>87355 Perhaps I will hide my penis so the cute fairies won’t find it.

>>87329 Ancient Elves good, young Elves bad

>>87356 It's rare for a Danuki to take the dancer job

>>87357 Perhaps the sincere love that Miss Fairy has for you will break through your cautious exterior.

>>87349 What's wrong with incest?

>>87360 Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Cute!

>>87358 >young Elves bad Depends on their influences. The Dark Elf college girl in my apartment building has been recently sharing her hot dish recipes with me, and I haven't met a more well-behaved and polite mamono. Although, oddly enough, now she and her pyrow and balrog friend's like to hang out around my door a lot for some reason.

>>87363 I need to be adopted by mamono like this, but older ones. Much, much older ones.

>>87361 Nothing really, I'm just not into father/daughter. I'm more of a siblings and/or auntster and/or momster person.

God damnit, what's with the incest times? Especially the auntster crowd, do you realize this is your mom's sister you're talking about.

>>87366 It could be an honorary auntster, as in just a friend of your parents.

>>87367 >that big titty foxgirl that's friends with my mom visiting me a lot more often nowadays

>>87368 I'm more of a CNN man m'self.

>>87366 >do you realize this is your mom's sister you're talking about. That makes it so fucking hot

>>87370 Needs to be FATTER

>>87358 Young Elves good Young everything good More cute little girls

>>87366 The danger and the adventurous nature of the forbidden relationship makes it irresistible, and if your auntster is hot that's even better

>>87365 >I'm more of a siblings and/or auntster and/or momster person. A man of refined taste, what a refreshing sight

Caturday is nearly over, but I just wanted to say that the humble Chesho wins the Cat of the Week award.

should spade tails be thick or wiry?

>>87292 Play your last pathetic card pharaoh so I can end this

>>87378 Depends on the lady. >Thicc ladies need thicc tails, especially stronk thicc ladies. >Stick ladies need wiry tails, especially demons who should have tails that are really, really prehensile.

>>87378 Thick obviously

>>87329 Elveses are ideal, actually.

>>87336 >Posts a section describing how there are instances where an elf might fall for her father and take him as her husband >I.e. no go out raiding looking for a husband >This Faggot >"dark elves that screw their fathers before going out on a husband hunt." I know what you are.

>>87378 Thick and meaty to hold the tail pussy

>>87381 Thicker

Dead hours

>>87373 >aunster thinks she's winning you over because you're innocent and impressionable >she's actually exactly your type but you're afraid to let on too much

>>87356 >daughteru's first dance recital

>>87366 >do you realize this is your mom's sister you're talking about. That's the fun part >mom walks in on you being balls deep in your aunt <"WHAT THE HELL ANON I DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO JUST FUCK MY SISTER, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FIND YOURSELF A PROPER WIFE!" >too bad you can't hear anything because you are completely zoned out from dumping gallons of cum

>>87359 >danuki wants to pick up dancing and needs you to give her feedback >her girlfriends might make fun of her, and you're the only one in her life that can offer a male perspective >it's necessary that she strips down to her special outfit every time >spend many afternoons watching her swinging hips while she watches you for reactions >gradually acquires grace, even confidence >by the end of the season she's hypnotising you with her rolling tummy, rounded hips and wobbling danuki tits >even using her tail to brush you or strategically obscure your view >she's ready! >wish her well for her debut in town >"How did it go?" >"Ah, I chickened out." >"What!? But you got so good!" >"I just realized performing wasn't for me. In front of a crowd, that is. I'd much prefer to do it one-on-one, but that means I have to be even better. So, if you could help me practice a bit more..."

>>87378 Thick, up to lizard tail thickness. There should be some real presence when she wraps it around you, there should be some constriction. And a thick tail means a meaty spade, all the better for biting and teasing.

if something can be thick it usually should be thick, but kuno tails are too cute

Hoo.

>>87397 One could imagine a conclave of nocturnal druidic woodland elves, their owl sages and dryad custodians

>femcel has a melty after trying (and failing) to intimidate anon into inviting her to his home under the pretext of "just checking something" >the door camera video goes absolutely viral on 4mon too bad the threats of breaking the door don't work when you are the one species that cannot get in unless allowed to

>>87402 SMH, such lack of patience and refinement. No wonder she failed. Proper vampires groom their men. Yofukashi no Uta taught me that.

You know why they call it a meadow? Because something-something I'm drunk on honeymead

>>87402 She might not be able to get you in, but she can easily get you out. Pray that no vampire comes up with the idea of just levitating you out of your house.

>>87404 I tried mead once, tasted like throat medicine

>>87406 Surely you can get drunk on cough syrup too

I shall be small, meek, pale stowaway who washed up in the desert kingdom shores and, before succumbing to the scorching sun, am enslaved(adopted) by an Apophis who will keep me cool and looked after

>>87409 Miss Sandworm is terribly disappointed that the cute boy she rescued from the desert is only interested in an Apophis, but she can't force him to love her. If he's not the one then he's not the one.

>>87410 Stop that. I feel bad for the sandworm. She deserves happiness too.

Australian centipedes.

magpie harpy

>Sandworm saves some kind of dedraggled catgirl >When she finally awakens, it turns out that she is a "gremlin" >Miss Grem invokes The Duty of the Saved and says that she now must provide an equal service to Miss Sandy. >Sadly, the desert heat has done gone ruined Miss Grem's brain because she absolutely Will Not Shut Up about turning Miss Sandy into a "mobile battle platform" with "hardpoints" that give her "point defense guns" and "landing pads for flying artillery and bombers." >Eventually Miss Sandy allows Miss Grem to build her 1 of these "hard points" as long as it only contains equipment to help resuce folks lost in the dessert. >Still, the building process requires her to completely surface for months, which DOES attract a huge amount of attention >And a Danuki starts charging for access and giving explanations of her anatomy of dubious accuracy >A barely legal desert boy ignores the danuki and her many loud warnings and runs up to touch Miss Sandy >Lightning runs through her veins at his touch >Miss Sandy has found The One >Even he feels it and runs to her mouth >Well, he's a little dim, so he runs to her back end, gets really, really confused for a moment, and then runs to her other end >Miss Sandy is waiting for him, arms outstretched >Miss Danuk has to put out a lil sign for when Mrs. Sandy is, uh, too busy. >"If this worm's a rockin', don't come a knockin'." >Unfortunately, Mrs. Sandy was too distracted by her new husband and ended up covered in Miss Grem's insane inventions >She was very, very annoyed when Mrs. Sandy left and they all broke off on the surface >But not THAT annoyed because she got a lot of good data about Sandworms, their mating habits, and whatnot >Decides she needs to wander out in the desert again to almost die of thirst in order to try again >Never occurs to her for even a second to try something less dangerous >Because Miss Grem is a GENIUS

>>87413 >Magpie harpy annoyed with Anon >Drops >>87412 Australian Centipedes down his chimney >Chortles when he has to go to the hospital for centipede bites Sigh. I gotta be less attracted to evil women. I would be super into this lady.

>>87415 Get your brain fixed

>>87416 What if the Demon Lord made my brain this way so I can take one of her Bargain Bin Daughters off her hands?

>>87417 They're not evil and wouln't hurt you

I wonder if they got a song to remember all the Lim’s. You know, like the president song or the state song.

>>87418 C'mon, man. Why you gotta be like that?

>>87402 >said femcel is a demon so she simply invokes the power of the end-user license agreement anon has agreed upon while installing that pirated rimworld >now his house and himself are her property

>Claustro brat has a tantrum >A melty >Anon, getting leglocked and his face smushed into acidic claustro cleavage/armpit, also has a 'melty'

>>87421 >still gets lolcow status amongst demons because she cant get his written signature on a marriage contract

>>87423 Checking the I Agree box is the digital era's variant of a digital signature.

>>87424 So demons are like the "I prefer the warmth of vinyl", but for signatures?

No half measures with contracts.All you're doing when ticking the checkbox is agreeing to sign a magically binding contract in the future. Sign the contract. Sign the contract. Sign the contract. Sign it. Sign it now. Sign it. You must.

>>87425 No, not really. They don't care if the signature is analog or digital. Consent's consent.

>>87424 <"kyahahaha, there she goes again!" <"bet she cant even make eye contact, what a loser~" <"give it up girl, presenting some nameless checkbox with a hyperlink to a 2000 page pdf of legal jargon is the highest form of insecure deemcel behaviour" <"you're no better than a danuki"

>>87427 I don't believe you. >>87428 This is very believeable and I would negotiate in person with Miss Deem. Perhaps over a candlelit dinner?

>>87428 >the "deemcel loser" gets married within the next 12 hours while her critic is still looking for a mate

>>87428 why is she patting my head

>>87431 Because you whined for like 3 hours until she added "good boy pets" into the contract.

>>87432 YES. Master of the deal. What did I concede?

>>87429 Look around, that's how every company is doing things now. Demons know the average consumer just clicks "Agree" when the platform asks them to give their consent to their terms of service and product policies, so they sneak in something like "Upon agreeing with the Terms, the User accepts the sympathy of one of the Service Provider's daughters in case she chooses to pursue romantic relationships with the User" In other words, the chance is very low but not zero

>>87433 you do the cooking on saturdays and she gets to name the first 3 of your 14 kids

I wish I had a sexy demon wife who wears Too Tight pencil skirts and gives me judgy looks for staring at her bluebs.

>>87435 Swings and roundabouts. (I love this pic. look at her thighs. big deem butt)

>>87434 i wont argue that it isnt true, i just think it would be looked down upon. the thrill of signing a marriage contract with a demon is that you know that its from a demon. you KNOW that she has omitted details that you would object to, you KNOW that what you're doing is a bad idea. but she is just too attractive for you to think straight, her entire being is perfect, her hair, her voice, her glowing eyes as she gently guides your hand over the signature line without breaking eye contract. the softness of her hand being the only thing you pay attention to as your hand writes on its own. thats a fucking contract signing, not skipping to the end of a webpage and clicking a checkbox.

>>87438 I mean, yeah, but I'd like to think that at least some demons would ALSO appreciate extended negotiations that take place over days or weeks, arguing about every little detail of the contract and blowing out a simple 3 pager into 76 pages of increasingly complex rules and appendices. Especially if she realizes halfway through that a lot of what I'm arguing about leads to the contract having lewd acrostics about demon body parts scattered throughout.

>>87438 Hey, everybody's ordering their goods on Amazon (owned and run by guess who), banking through the internet, making most deals in digital space, hell, people even date via internet now. What are the demon's opportunities to get Anon to sign her contract? Jumping him on the street to get him to sign the petition to ban all non-Western mamono from claiming White men?

Hebis can sometime be self-concious of their tail

My ideal demon contract >deem owns me Could fit it on a business card

>>87442 >tfw Anon ends up with deem wife who has 2 laughs >over-the-top ojousama laugh >same but somehow even louder >And she used both at the same time while signing your contract.

>>87444 Ojou-laughs need not be connected to tsunderes at all.

>>87440 its far from an ideal world for it, but if a deem wants a proper contract, she'll surely figure it out. honestly, its still easier than it has been in the past, back then most people couldnt even read, let alone write. >young(<200 y/o) deem complains about her zoomer boytoy not being able to write on paper >her millennia old ancestor chuckles, saying that she should be thankful that he can at the very least read, unlike the knight that came to "slay" her.

My ideal demon is old and scary. Same as any other species

>>87449 >her zoomer boytoy not being able to write on paper You're probably confusing them with someone else. Zoomers were still taught to write on paper.

>>87452 But not in cursive.

>Anon has cute fairy wife >She is very smol >And cute >But her laugh follows her hairstyle, due to ancient fey magicks >Cute giggles with pigtails >Sensible chuckles with a low ponytail >Chav laughs with a higher one >Curly hair gives her a slightly aristocratic laugh >Drill hair gives her an intense Ojousama laugh that can shatter nearby glass >And she LOVES going around with drill hair

>>87456 plz don't call your penis that, the girls on /k/ are getting too horny

>>87457 My penis doesn't shoot 10-gauge lead.

>>87458 Not with that attitude it doesn't.

>>87460 >load her up with extra 100 pounds of cargo and tell her to haul it all across the Mojave

It's pretty clear that some people on this board need to be corrected by a smug loli ojousama with drill hair and an ojousama laugh and who can make really good pancakes and bacon and fruit salad. I'm not lonely AND hungry, what do you mean?

Bratty autistic anons need rape correction 💢💢💢 Less >wawawa I'm angry about internet stuff more >iku iku, it keeps flowing out!!!

if I ever say 'iku iku' please throw a boring succ at me

>>87465 >12 vampires are sent at your location to fix you.

>>87464 >t. triggered by ojou laughs Ohohoho! Dont feel so bad about your inferiority, you silly peasant!

>>87469 >hear the word "triggered" Weeeeell you were right about one trigger going off real soon. (point my 10ga shotgun at her)

>>87468 I don't need 12 people making pancakes, Anon.

>>87471 Okay then, you'll just be serving 12 posh ladies day and night. Might be even servicing them if they allow your dirty peasant face anywhere near their clams.

>>87470 >>87470 >10ga shotgun Funny thing to call you penis lol

>>87474 if it's iron she'll just get even more smug before enslaving you if it's silver or demon silver, she'll stop being smug but have fun dealing with a horny mamono that lost all her restraints and reverted to FULL RAPE mode

>>87475 It's Dragon Breath. Self-igniting pellets.. Vampires are weak to fire.

>>87476 This is MGE we're talking about. Being "weak" at best means she'll get momentarily incapacitated from horny overload and then you'll have to take responsibility for your autism.

>>87475 Actually, demon realm lead is going to make her weak and limp in ecstasy. Enough for me to make a quick getaway. >>87477 Nope, she'll get overloaded with massive pleasure and climax repeatedly where she stands while I let out a giggle and blow her a raspberry and get out of there.

>>87478 >blow her a raspberry and get out of there. Good job giving her a scent trail to track you with lol.

Actually I think it'll be like >walking down the streets >snob tsundere lady gets in my way <OH-HOOHohohoho you're mine >she forgets she's in America >so I pull out my 10ga. shotgun and blast her with some demon lead >five hours later she's finally back on her feet after this immense yet crippling wave of pleasure/excitement/whatever she's gonna be feeling after being shot with mamono realm lead >next time she'll think twice before jumping some anon on the streets and will settle for some guy who's into her type instead.

>>87480 A tsundere wouldn't say "you're mine", do you even know what a tsundere is? Kids these days, I swear...

>>87479 I ate a lot of garlic before going out. If she's a vampire, she would be repelled by the scent and won't be able to track me. Otherwise she either ewws or won't be able to smell it since her receptors aren't powerful enough.

>>87481 Yeah, my bad. A tsundere won't do anything to me because she feels too snobby for that.

>>87482 Garlic doesnt repel them, it makes them horny. Good job making your scent stand out even more lmao

>>87483 Tsundere =/= a snob Why are you so ignorant, suck some learncow titty

>>87484 >Garlic doesnt repel them, it makes them horny. Oh really. >shot with 10ga dragon's breath, already weakened by all that pleasure she received while burning >assuming she's still standing, she tries to pursue me >sniffs garlic smell >her last self control melts away as she becomes super horny >she loses consciousness due to pleasure overload and wakes up 12 hours later when it's morning

>>87485 So will she try anything against me or not? I need to know if I want to waste ammo on her, I also need to save some for that anti-American bitch prowling the neighborhood (I'd rape correct her but she's an alp.)

>>87486 >super horny >didnt make her cum to knock her out Oh, you have no idea how badly you fucked up

>>87488 >didnt make her cum to knock her out >I literally just said how she got knocked out Anon... you need to tell your vampire mistress to suck less blood next time. Your cognitive abilities seem to be severely impaired by the lack of oxygen and nutrition normally carried to the brain by a healthy stream of blood.

>>87489 being horny doesnt cause unconsciousness, buddy lmao

>>87490 Being shot with mamono realm lead does. It's just that the damage isn't physical and there's pleasure instead of pain, but you're about as fucked up as if you were shot with a real gun. Fire (dragon's breath) causes burns which, in turn, carry over serious complications ranging from intoxication to infection, as well as excruciating pain. Translated into MGE terms it would mean days, maybe weeks of weakness combined with almost crippling throbbing, if she doesn't get knocked out of action from just that, she'll climax on spot simply from being gently caressed by the wind. Especially if it carries over garlic smell (which as >>87484 says makes her even hornier)

>AAAH GUNS GUNS GUNS >SHOOTY SHOOT Real mutt hours

Can we all just agree that the REAL tsundere is the Anon who keeps obsessively talking about eating garlic and pump his shotgun into vampires? This shit is so tsundere that harem manga writers would be like, "Damn. Please tone this shit down, son. You're embarrassing yourself."

>>87493 It's like that ln knight pic with a wall of posters about his succ wife he supposedly hates.

>>87492 Hellwans don't use guns. Well, maybe the bodybuilder ones in the "Wanna see THESE guns?" and musclepose sense. I think you're thinking of Miss Cupid, who has a variety of weaponry that she switches to based on circumstance, from melee-centric urban romance to long-distance relationship management. And everything in between!

>Anon on TV show >I HATE hellhounds! Absolutely HATE THEM. CANNOT STAND THEM. <"Well anon, I'm glad you could get that off your chest. But you know-" >Studio audience errupts into cheers as screen behind shows the waiting hellhound storming past security to get on stage <"YOU KNOW IT'S NOT ME WHO YOU SHOULD BE SAYING THAT TO" >Anon cannot escape <"CAUSE WITH EARS AS BIG AS HERS, I THINK SHE HEARD ALL YOU SAID, BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SAY IT TO HER FACE" >Audience claps as hellhound appears and performs a pelvic piledrive

>>87494 I know the image you speak of. I will search for it.

>>87496 I absolutely hate how much I'd be compelled to watch mamono reality TV slop.

Boy that was quick

>>87499 There's a lot going on here. A man struggling with the divide between his feelings and his vows. I have empathy for him. Vamp-Anon just needs to get his back blown out by Vamp hips, tho.

>>87501 >>87499 >She's a menace. She's out there, and only I can stop her. She- <Honey, are you still in the darkroom? >Yes, please do not open the door. This is a sensitive process. <Don't be long! I'm dying for it~ >Heaven preserve me

>>87499 awesome, thanks

>>87502 Do you think he's wearing the armor because she likes him in the armor during sexy times?

>>87504 No. It is the uniform of his office.

>>87504 Of course. The very idea of desecrating something so important and powerful by using it for something so carnal is thrilling, isnt it? I know it's mg armor so the whole thing will fall off at once when you pull on the secret string but still

>>87499 people ask a lot of questions about my nemesis wall that should be answered by my nemesis wall

I've never actually met my nemesis, I just know that some bastard is presumably responsible and one of these days I'll find out who it is.

>>87506 there's just something special about a fiery-haired lizard

>>87511 Please don't tell mamono this, but I am VERY WEAK to redheads.

>>87513 I wonder what it'd be like being in a harem of the smug squad

>>87514 Tiresome if you must be the straight man or very amusing if you're the smugest

>>87514 It'd be pretty chill. The smug squad is only problematic due to lack of pat-pat and ear scritches time.

>>87514 A tall order. The sex would be incredible.

>>87517 That manticore needs brushy-brushy time STAT.

>>87516 this, it's a hard job but a relaxing one too

>>87518 I like to think about fur care, bean poking, claw sharpening and other beastwomen care. But what about the reverse? How would you feel about them aggressively (and affectionately) pampering, grooming, massaging you?

>>87520 I would love it if it's not aggressive, I have a problem with being touched

>>87520 >ms jinko sitting next to you on the subway grooming your cowlick >low growling if you try to pull away let it happen

>>87521 The chesh invisibles herself and it's just a floating hairbrush and ocassional tongue

>>87523 I'm bald, she's silly

>>87524 the chesh uses your shiny head to tell fortunes

>>87522 How well can she handle my long hair? >>87524 Chesh tongue is good for your scalp skin regardless.

I wouldn't mind a hellhound spa treatment

>>87525 ms hebi doing a palm-reading be like you will meet with great fortune and have a long wife

>>87528 I get she's magic so I can believe she can divine someone's fate... But does she REALLY need to lick my fingers and palms all over with her forked snek tongue while doing it?!

>>87529 it's part of the process

>>87527 >expect a dainty monster masseuse >get a beeg monster >can't even say 'oh shit' before she's kneading the air out of your lungs >still a good massage almost as funny as when you're expecting a dainty monster masseuse and get a teeny tiny fairy who also somehow kneads the air out of your lungs

I feel like a lot of monsters could do something unique (and probably feels nice) at a health spa/resort. Snek coils. Slime body baths. Beeg monster sport massages. Martial arts/sports. Therapy monsters.

>>87532 shog massage chair

>>87531 blurting out to ms kraken "it's my first time" when she asks you about the massage

>>87534 I didn't even think of miss kraken. she'd be really good at it with all those tentacles. she probably has different courses from light touch to 'The ship snapper' special. probably has some fun stories to tell either way, like that time she snapped a ship in half.

>>87534 That's not a kraken, that's a GOTE. She got the horizontal pupils.

>>87536 Need more cephalopod girls with horizontal pupils.

suction cups for lower back pain

>>87537 MORE GOTES

>>87532 horc aromatherapy

>>87540 >It's just a hellhound barbecueing a whole pig