Speaking of THREADS...
I posted a version of this on the 4chan thread a while ago. This is just a lightly cleaned up repost.
Seams Legit
>You walk by Seams Legit every day on your way to work.
>It’s a tailoring business with a cute title and an even cuter owner.
>Most days you see her setting up shop or working ahead of her official start time.
>She only makes women's clothing, mostly wedding dresses.
>That’s where all the money is in dress-making these days--you can’t really buy mamono wedding dresses off the rack, after all.
>Now, you're not, uh, attracted to this shop owner.
>Her lithe, dextrous legs.
>Her fashionable silk dresses.
>Her artfully coiffed hair.
>Her ample bosom.
>No, she is definitely not someone you want to ask out for a coffee before work, or perhaps a beer afterwards.
>OK, she totally is. She’s just very intimidating.
>Eventually, you give up on coming up with a good pretense to talk to her.
>Just ask her out--that’s the plan.
>You knock on the door to her shop one morning before work.
>She cutely/daintily/adroitly saunters over and opens it.
>A small bell chimes as she does.
<"I'm sorry, I don't open for another 20 minutes."
>She starts to shut the door.
"I just have a question!"
>The door stops closing and she looks at you curiously.
"I, uh, I walk by this place every day and..."
>You're going to ask her out for coffee.
>You're going to ask her out for coffee!
>She's still looking at you.
>Complete the sentence!
>You absolute coward, finish the sentence!
"I was just wondering if you made clothes for men?"
>Fuck.
>Fuck-fuck-fuck.
>You don't wear fancy silk clothes and now you're just going to be a customer.
>You're a big dumb stupid coward.
>Oh, god, she's blushing.
>She must have noticed your awkwardness and be second-hand embarrassed for you.
<"I... haven't."
>She's bright red, but you imagine you are, too.
<"C-come inside and I can measure you for a...?"
<"Suit?"
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, OK."
>You step inside, silently cursing your idiocy.
>This is the biggest mistake of your life, but you can't just walk away now. You have to figure out some way to turn this around!
>Miss Arachne locks the shop door and leads you into the back.
<"I’ve seen you looking at me, you know."
>She's grabbing a cloth tape measure and a sheet of paper as she talks.
<"I used to wonder if you were looking for an outfit for your wife."
<"I guess not."
>That stings. She really knows how to read you.
>She's still beat red, though, too.
"I, uh--"
"I'm not."
>She nods.
<"Can you undress? I need accurate measurements."
>Christ.
>This is going to be locked in as a core memory.
>The day Anon fucking embarrassed himself beyond all measure.
>You strip down to your underwear and socks, your heart racing.
>She doesn't even try to make small talk (thank god).
>She's just a deft spider crawling around you, measuring things and jotting them down.
>Blushing furiously.
>It even extends into her décolletage, something that you can’t help but notice and then dart your eyes away from guiltily immediately afterward.
>As the tape measure roams your body, you find yourself holding your breath, then suddenly gasping for air as you realize you’re not breathing.
>She finally finishes, and you try to compose yourself without her noticing how panicked you are.
>You wish you could say something, but you're just too tongue-tied.
>Miss Arachne isn’t talking either.
>Her face is flushed red on her pale skin, and it continues to extend down to her chest.
>Oh, god, she saw you looking at her.
>Staring down at your feet, you fight the urge to flee the room.
>Just need to act normal and then figure out a new route to walk to work.
>Eventually she talks.
>Her voice is shaky as she’s clearly picking up your weird vibes.
<"Normally, I always ask what the client wants."
<"But you've made it pretty clear, haven't you?"
>You boggle at that, even glancing up at her face again.
>She’s clearly too uncomfortable to even look at you.
<"I'll be right back."
>She leaves for the front of the shop, and you're alone with your thoughts.
>She didn't say you could put your clothes back on.
>Maybe she's going to put you in some outfits or shirts or something?
>Or maybe she just forgot.
>Or is pranking you for making her feel so uncomfortable.
>She finally comes back with a thin bit of... thread?
>She looks incredibly nervous as she lowers herself down to your level.
>It's kind of the arachne equivalent of getting on her knees.
>Up close, you can see it's a simple ring of silk, with a bit of red dye in one spot.
<"I just made this now."
<"It's a garment."
<"For you."
<"Do you accept it?"
>She's looking you in the eyes, and her hand is trembling like a leaf as she holds it up to you.
"Uh... sure?"
>You don't know what else to say but yes.
>She carefully pushes the ring down the ring finger of your left hand.
>It's a weirdly perfect fit.
>She frowns and adjusts it so the little red blotch is on top, like a cloth gem on a cloth ring.
<"You've accepted clothing from me."
"Yeah?"
>She puts her hands on your sides and pulls you into a hug.
>You yelp in surprise.
>She whispers into your ear.
<"Oooooooh, that's nice."
<"You've been terrified this whole time."
<"You really know how to woo an arachne, don't you?"
AND THEN THEY FUCKED